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by AvantGarde » Mon Jan 01, 2018 3:18 pm

*lets try this again* - kittie walked on the keyboard once and deleted what I wrote, walked on the keyboard twice shut down my laptop. :lol:

Not sure if it's due to diet, or trauma therapy that recently re-kindled my spirit, or some other issue, but I've been having terrible sleep. I think there's a pattern, and I like patterns, of eating way too many carbs and then having an awful night's sleep, and this issue began during holiday season.

What was once just bad sleep, nightmares and so forth as you probably already know, now is nightmares and just a couple of hours of sleep at a time, never a full night. On good days, I get sleepy very early (around 7pm) and manage to sleep for 7 hours until 3am but usually, I get sleepy at 11pm, nevertheless waking up anyway at 3am. Or sleepy at 7 but wake up at 9. :roll: As you can see, very inconsistent sleep patterns.

It can also be due to trauma therapy, we've been dealing with heavy-heavy stuff that I was in denial-denial about so I've been having nightmares about that. Also, I have a neighbour I detest that personifies evil in my dreams. I dream a lot about lost kittens too, trying to find them a home. Also dream about insanity, particularly going mad and not realizing it, or having an episode and not being able to resolve it.

Well, anyway, I'm really tired. Trying to stay in bed is useless as I spend hours just looking at the ceiling and thinking about all the bad stuff that happened in my life like a movie. Can't rely on benzos every night, melatonin doesn't work, and I don't have anything else in the house.

I'm not even hypo anymore, I feel peaceful and stable.
I just wish I could have a good night's sleep. I used to sleep for 11 hours no problem, just last year.

Maybe if I can solve this puzzle, I might be able to solve my problem. Help?

Edit to add, when I take benzos I'm able to sleep for 8 hours or 9, but like I said, can't rely on benzos every night.
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by Spm24 » Mon Jan 01, 2018 3:55 pm

Wish I had a quick fix or your magic wand to wave and get rid of your nightmares. Help you sleep for a solid eight or nine hours straight sleep...
Snowflakes gently floating from the sky just dusting the ground. Then it picks up bigger fatter flakes cascading from space at a faster rate. From a dusting to a trace. Then the deluge comes. Oh what joy. Watching everything slow to a crawl, then a stop. Step outside and even with things moving it is quiet. It is a giant muffler the earth is wearing. Causing everything to be muted.To be calm.
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by AvantGarde » Mon Jan 01, 2018 4:01 pm

Thanks Shawnie :)

It can also be depression. I don't know if I'm depressed, I usually have good insight for depression, but things have been so hazy lately that I'm probably not in my best shape. I do have a sense of humour though, no trouble focusing or decision making. And, besides the lack of sleep, I've been feeling generally good about myself, in terms of what's possible and not an overreaction lol :? Maybe not depression.. Certainly not hypo anymore either, I can feel the difference from last week to now.
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by AvantGarde » Mon Jan 01, 2018 4:07 pm

Excess caffeine may be the culprit
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by Spm24 » Mon Jan 01, 2018 4:22 pm

Yes excessive caffeine will do that to a lot of people. Stress can be another culprit. Or some other things might be affecting your sleep. Causing you brain to wake you up. Your body might have adjusted itself to waking up at the same time everyday. It can be enough to drive you crazy.

You need to have take with kitty and explain when it is your time to be on the computer and when it is her time to be on to talk to her friends...
Snowflakes gently floating from the sky just dusting the ground. Then it picks up bigger fatter flakes cascading from space at a faster rate. From a dusting to a trace. Then the deluge comes. Oh what joy. Watching everything slow to a crawl, then a stop. Step outside and even with things moving it is quiet. It is a giant muffler the earth is wearing. Causing everything to be muted.To be calm.
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by Spm24 » Mon Jan 01, 2018 4:26 pm

Missed the post about depression. For me I never have lack of sleep when I am depressed. I think you would know if you were depressed you have good insight into that. You might just be mentally exhausted..
Snowflakes gently floating from the sky just dusting the ground. Then it picks up bigger fatter flakes cascading from space at a faster rate. From a dusting to a trace. Then the deluge comes. Oh what joy. Watching everything slow to a crawl, then a stop. Step outside and even with things moving it is quiet. It is a giant muffler the earth is wearing. Causing everything to be muted.To be calm.
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by AvantGarde » Mon Jan 01, 2018 4:29 pm

Spm24 wrote:Yes excessive caffeine will do that to a lot of people. Stress can be another culprit. Or some other things might be affecting your sleep. Causing you brain to wake you up. Your body might have adjusted itself to waking up at the same time everyday. It can be enough to drive you crazy.


Valid reasons, all of them. How shall I approach this as a problem solver? :lol: I NEED TO SLEEP

Depression causes me insomnia.
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by Spm24 » Mon Jan 01, 2018 4:58 pm

Well excessive caffeine is easy. Cut back on it slowly. Stress that's a harder one. Easy to say stay out stressful situations but so hard to do so. But maybe you can take some more time outside each day. Or if you can't try to take some quiet time at home. Maybe just time petting kitty or doing some reflective thinking. Stressful situations sometimes I can work through them mentally that way they are not first and foremost in my mind.

Sometimes what works for some people is to drink warm milk. Sleeping with a fan on the breeze and noise helps. Sleeping with the radio or television on for noise. Maybe buy a noise machine might work. When you wake up maybe find something stupid to watch on TV. Or read a book that makes you tired...
Snowflakes gently floating from the sky just dusting the ground. Then it picks up bigger fatter flakes cascading from space at a faster rate. From a dusting to a trace. Then the deluge comes. Oh what joy. Watching everything slow to a crawl, then a stop. Step outside and even with things moving it is quiet. It is a giant muffler the earth is wearing. Causing everything to be muted.To be calm.
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by AvantGarde » Mon Jan 01, 2018 5:18 pm

Yes, caffeine is being cut. I'm a big addict so I can't cut off immediately but today I won't go further than two mugs.

Don't drink milk, but a chamomile or rooibos tea might help.

It's too cold for a fan, tv/background noise only makes me sleep worse, it mixes with the dreams.
Can't really think anymore than I already do :shock: :lol:

Kitties and books it's what I've been doing. Reading the entire Bertrand Russell's bibliography right now, plus another series of books on the history of philosophy. But reading only gets me excited for more reading, I can spend the whole day on books with few rest stops in between to eat and internet and kitties. lol :?

I'll try to take a walk tomorrow morning, if I can get some rest before that. It's 1am now. Thanks Shawn :)
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by Jemane » Mon Jan 01, 2018 6:24 pm

So, my friends have been using this new sleep technique. There’s been some studies backing it up apparently.
First you calculate the average amount you are getting per night. Let’s say it’s 5 hours. Then you work out what time you want to wake. Let’s say it’s 7am. So you need to stay up until 2am and not even bother trying to sleep until then. You should then sleep for 5 hours. Gradually after a week or so you can make it 1.30am then 1am etc but if you start to wake you need to go down a step.
If you sleep 4 hours and want to wake at 6.30am it’s 2.30am bedtime etc etc.
Can’t guarantee anything but it works for my friends apparently.
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by AvantGarde » Mon Jan 01, 2018 6:32 pm

Thanks Jemane :) Like I said, if I go to sleep at 1am I'll wake up at 3am anyway. The only way I'm tempted to try, it's what I'm doing today, is by going to sleep at 3am so there isn't a chance I'll wake up at that time. :lol: Might work. 2:31am now.
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by Mocha » Mon Jan 01, 2018 7:12 pm

I feel for you girl.......nightmares when you can sleep.....ruminating thoughts when you can't....oy.....

The fan works for me, can't sleep without one even in cold weather. I just don't aim it at me/the bed, but that's just me...... :)

You have so much going on in RL......important things you're going to have to deal with in the new year. They have to be weighing on you big time. Are you stressing over those when you're trying to sleep?

Other than all that, I really have no advice re: sleep. I'm the last one to ask. I've never had a regular sleep routine.

Hope you get some rest soon.....

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by Pancake » Mon Jan 01, 2018 7:47 pm

I find studying semi-guaranteed to make my brain turn off, and then I dream about what I was studying...

I know nothing works all the time, just in case it's been overlooked temporarily because your brain has too much happening, are there any relaxation type exercises that help at all? It's about a 50/50 success rate for me, but I have to remember to use them.

Fingers crossed the caffeine changes help for you.

I get a bee in my bonnet about wasted time staring at the ceiling, if nothing works and my brain is a jerk, I get up and do something quiet but useful. I can always sleep later.

YouTube can teach crochet (;
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by AvantGarde » Mon Jan 01, 2018 11:38 pm

Eheh, I slept for 5 hours. Still feeling sleepy but rested. No dreams that I can remember right now :)

I hope cutting coffee helps as well, this is my last cup of the day.

I did study Pan, or rather, I took it upon my self to discover and read studies of what did Bertrand Russell actually say when they accuse him of urging the US to start a nuclear war with Russia after WWII (he didn't, btw), then got interested in reading about the comparisons between stalinism and nazi germany for some reason I can't remember at the moment. My eyes started to close, I fell a sleep under a minute.
Pretty heavy subjects, but it worked.

My neighbour also tells me about crochet for a better sleep, she's a very light sleeper and wakes up multiple times during the night, her mother never sleeps from 3am to 6am either lol They've kinda grown used to it. I'm in need of more solid sleep hours I think. I'll look into it :)

Mocha, intrusive thoughts during the day. But tdoc's idea is working, schedulling a day of the week to think about them and they vanish or diminish strenght. I'm kinda used to them, so I forget to think about them afterwards.
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by Pancake » Tue Jan 02, 2018 8:45 am

Speaking of insomnia
:shock: :shock: :shock: :evil:

Well, found the benzos, that should knock it on the head for tonight. This shift work caper :roll:
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by Mom2dani » Tue Jan 02, 2018 8:52 am

Crocheting can definitely turn the mind off and possibly help with sleep. It is so so boring, ahah.

Have you tried downloading a relaxation app on your phone. I know white noise helps a lot of people but I’ve found for me, Pan flutes, waves, water dripping helps.

I wish I could not rely on benzos but since the divorce my anxiety is through the roof, but maybe for you just some relaxing sounds, meditation apps?
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by Mom2dani » Tue Jan 02, 2018 8:55 am

Sorry didn’t see Shawn already suggested background noise.
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by Pancake » Tue Jan 02, 2018 9:18 am

My mom has a pink noise app she swears by.

Oh, and no screens.
And because I can't seem to do no screens, blue light filter seems to help.
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by Jemane » Tue Jan 02, 2018 9:18 am

I’ve caught the I can’t sleep bug. Lying here at 3.30am wide awake. Cats annoying me too. Scratching to come in then wants to sit on my shoulder at purr. He’s driving me bananas cause my 15 year old is away.

Edit to correct pm with am
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by Pancake » Tue Jan 02, 2018 10:03 am

*waves*

Birdies are awake now too.

Worship the purring kitty as requested. Persistent, aren't they :lol: but soothing, too.
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by AvantGarde » Tue Jan 02, 2018 10:20 am

Hah! I slept all afternoon :? Just woke up. Feeling refreshed as a lime.
Lots of nightmares though.

Hope you all managed to get some sleep.
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by AvantGarde » Tue Jan 02, 2018 9:43 pm

Managed to sleep normal hours. Fell asleep at 10pm, woke up at 3am but fell right back asleep, woke up again at 5.

Just wish I didn't have so many damn nightmares now. I have huge bags under my eyes. Like Mocha says, oy fucking vey.
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by AvantGarde » Mon Jan 15, 2018 2:33 am

Seriously though, fucking sleep.

Fell asleep yesterday afternoon, slept for 4 hours. Then again at 10pm until 1am, now sleepy as hell but can't even lay in bed. A bit restless. I just changed from injection to pills, so I guess it's that. The dose is slightly higher now, that's why I'm sleepy in the afternoon.

Feeling fine otherwise though, so I guess it's no reason for alarm. Just wish I wasn't sleeping in patches.
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by Pancake » Mon Jan 15, 2018 4:34 am

I am just all over the place. If I nap during the day, I sleep less at night; if I don't nap during the day, I sleep worse. So regularity can go fuck itself right now, I'm sleeping when I can/need.

One of my workmates only works nights, and keeps the same hours on her days off. Maybe I should look into that.... :?

You know, I've heard patchy sleep is a Thing as you get older.... Perhaps we are just old souls (;
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by AvantGarde » Mon Jan 15, 2018 5:01 am

Ahah old souls, sure... we can have that.

PAN, I have to tell you this! I used to be blonde as a kid, then my hair turned brown, now it's turning red. All natural, no dye! I'm a freak of nature but I like it!!
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