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Can't catch a break

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by AvantGarde » Fri Jul 21, 2017 3:03 am

... now it's my OCD flaring. Intrusive thoughts all morning. Just wanted to vent that I'm tired of this shit, it's always something.

But I figured out a way of not succumbing to the deep end of depression, I'm writting down all the things that make me feel normal, from me as a person to outside things like going for coffee and the likes.

The OCD was triggered by my ex who sent me a text yesterday, led to a dream about another ex, some sleepwalking and now obsessive thoughts. Glad I'm on meds, that's for sure. I feel so guilty about having these thoughts, I shouldn't thought, it's not my fault.

It will pass, it will pass, it will pass.
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by Mocha » Fri Jul 21, 2017 3:08 am

Was this the ex who treated you like shit?

And no, it's not your fault. no way, no how. You were triggered by the text and the rest followed.

Just wanted to vent that I'm tired of this shit, it's always something.

Ain't that the truth......sigh.....


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by AvantGarde » Fri Jul 21, 2017 3:13 am

Mocha wrote:Was this the ex who treated you like shit?


Nah... the friend one. We fought a lot, but I actually treated him worse. lol We forgave each other though. The ones who treated me like shit apparently learned their lesson or I managed to block them from every way to contact me ever again.

OCD sucks. CPTSD sucks. BP sucks. GAD sucks. They all suck :evil:
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by Duckysmom » Fri Jul 21, 2017 3:32 am

I could not agree more. They all suck!
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by Spm24 » Fri Jul 21, 2017 6:15 am

Sorry you can't catch a break. It seems as you say if it is not one thing it's another. Hang in there...Hug..
Snowflakes gently floating from the sky just dusting the ground. Then it picks up bigger fatter flakes cascading from space at a faster rate. From a dusting to a trace. Then the deluge comes. Oh what joy. Watching everything slow to a crawl, then a stop. Step outside and even with things moving it is quiet. It is a giant muffler the earth is wearing. Causing everything to be muted.To be calm.
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by hal » Fri Jul 21, 2017 6:25 am

What a great idea to write the good things down. I send you both admiration and hugs, AG!
. . . all times I have enjoyed
Greatly, have suffered greatly, both with those
That loved me, and alone.
-- Tennyson
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by AvantGarde » Fri Jul 21, 2017 6:29 am

Thanks guys.

One of the items on the list just says "peanut butter" so I don't know if it's very admirable :lol:
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by Duckysmom » Fri Jul 21, 2017 10:07 am

I like peanut butter.
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by Spm24 » Fri Jul 21, 2017 10:25 am

I'm eating a peanut butter and homemade blueberry jelly sandwich..yummy :D
Snowflakes gently floating from the sky just dusting the ground. Then it picks up bigger fatter flakes cascading from space at a faster rate. From a dusting to a trace. Then the deluge comes. Oh what joy. Watching everything slow to a crawl, then a stop. Step outside and even with things moving it is quiet. It is a giant muffler the earth is wearing. Causing everything to be muted.To be calm.
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by Duckysmom » Fri Jul 21, 2017 10:26 am

Shawn, you're making me jealous!
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by Spm24 » Fri Jul 21, 2017 10:28 am

Sorry...but it is good..have all kinds of homemade jams to put on peanut butter sandwichs :lol:
Snowflakes gently floating from the sky just dusting the ground. Then it picks up bigger fatter flakes cascading from space at a faster rate. From a dusting to a trace. Then the deluge comes. Oh what joy. Watching everything slow to a crawl, then a stop. Step outside and even with things moving it is quiet. It is a giant muffler the earth is wearing. Causing everything to be muted.To be calm.
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by Jemane » Fri Jul 21, 2017 1:40 pm

Mmmm... peanut butter. OCD must really suck. Hugs to you. What difficult time you seem to be having. But definitely not your fault. It's an illness.
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by AvantGarde » Fri Jul 21, 2017 9:30 pm

Thanks guys :)
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