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Diagnosed recently

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by Stormageddon » Tue Jan 02, 2018 3:28 pm

I was diagnosed recently
Awhile back I was dealing with really bad depression, saw a doctor they put me on a antidepressant (made me really agitated they weaned me off that (started having intrusive thoughts of driving my car into traffic) started a different one made me feel super happy but irritated impatient and unable to sleep.
I stopped the med and was good for about 4-6months
Then felt like I had good energy productive angry all at once.

Went to phsyc diagnosed with Dx are: Panic D/o, ADHD - combined and Bipolar I - hypo manic.
I noticed when looking online that bipolar 1 didn't seem to go with hypo manic?
I haven't had a chance to ask her but was just curious if anyone has a diagnosis like this?

Also I'm on 100 lamotrigene 1x a day

No really bad ups
Lows are hard but the bad ones are less often. I'm still finding it hard to want to do things , to stop thinking about one day I'll die (which makes me panic) and just no sex drive.

I'm just not sure what to do to help I'm pretty sure antidepressants are out since they seemed to ramp me up.

Does therapy really help? I pretty much talk about everything with my husband or mom so I'm not sure what doing that with a stranger will do for me.

Thanks!
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by Pancake » Tue Jan 02, 2018 4:51 pm

Welcome Storm

If you've been hypomanic but not true manic then you might be able to relate to the definition of bipolar 2 better. The *exact* diagnosis doesn't really matter though, something to discuss with your doc if it intrigues you. If meds are helping, who cares what they call it :lol:

I'm just not sure what to do to help I'm pretty sure antidepressants are out since they seemed to ramp me up.

That's the case for lots of us (and sometimes leads to the diagnosis). Some people seem to tolerate one in conjunction with a mood stabiliser, but we're all crazy different when it comes to meds and what helps *for you* may be a matter of trial and error until you hit the right med or cocktail.

Does therapy really help?

Yes. There are all sorts of benefits to therapy, it's not just talking/listening. From teaching you to recognise the way you think (and change it), learning to recognise faulty coping mechanisms, recognise when your moods are changing, early warning signs, recognising patterns and triggers. All sorts of things, lots of different types of therapy.

If you have a good psychiatrist, maybe they can recommend someone they think will suit you? Helps if they are experienced with bipolar.
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by Stormageddon » Tue Jan 02, 2018 5:42 pm

Thank you that all helps!
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by Stormageddon » Tue Jan 02, 2018 5:43 pm

It's been interesting we took in my 14 year old nephew who was diagnosed bipolar at 11

I have two boys with autism

And I have battled depression for along time so having this crop up in the last two years has been hard to say the least ...
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by Spm24 » Tue Jan 02, 2018 6:51 pm

Welcome Stormsageddon. Nice to have you here.

Antidepressants sent me to the hypo area. So we found out that they are not something that really work by themselves for me.

I am diagnosed with BP1. But I have had episodes of hypo mania not full blown mania. So I do not think that it is cut and dry diagnosis. We are all different with our symptoms.

A therapist can give you different perspectives of what is going on. To help you cope and understand different situations. A therapist can help you recognize when things are going wrong and give you skills to deal with them.

Having all that on your plate can seem overwhelming. Dealing with it all is daunting. But just like anything you take it all one day at a time. That's all anyone can handle.
Snowflakes gently floating from the sky just dusting the ground. Then it picks up bigger fatter flakes cascading from space at a faster rate. From a dusting to a trace. Then the deluge comes. Oh what joy. Watching everything slow to a crawl, then a stop. Step outside and even with things moving it is quiet. It is a giant muffler the earth is wearing. Causing everything to be muted.To be calm.
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by Mocha » Tue Jan 02, 2018 6:59 pm

Welcome Storm...... :)

AG wrote:There are all sorts of benefits to therapy, it's not just talking/listening. From teaching you to recognise the way you think (and change it), learning to recognise faulty coping mechanisms, recognise when your moods are changing, early warning signs, recognising patterns and triggers. All sorts of things, lots of different types of therapy.

I agree with AG.......and it can also help you come to terms with your new dx. That's not always easy for a lot of folks.

And re: having your husband and mom to talk to.....of course, and you're very lucky to have their support. But, I can talk about things in therapy I can't talk about with anyone else......not even the people I'm closest to.

Re: antidepressants (ADs). Before I was dx'd, docs tried many kinds, and oh boy that was a disaster. I can tolerate Zoloft now but only because I'm taking three different mood stabilizers. But that's just me.

btw, I've been taking lamotrigine for 13 years. It's been a great med for me and I hope it's a good med for you too.

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by hal » Tue Jan 02, 2018 7:30 pm

Welcome, Stormageddon, I like Stormageddon and other names that are a play on words in some way. ;)

"Hypomanic" means milder mania, typically that of bipolar 2 (BP2), but those with BP1 can also have hypomania; it's a question of degree. The labels are not that important. Both BP1 and BP2 have depression. Bipolar depression is different from unipolar depression, but don't ask me to explain that. :lol:

I have BP1, in fact my pdoc (psychiatrist) says I'm a classic case of BP1. I've had BP symptoms, including psychosis, since my late teens, and was correctly diagnosed at age 34. As you've experienced, it's not easy arriving at the correct diagnosis of BP. I'm now 76, so I have lots of experience with the disorder. Having BP makes for a hard but not impossible life. For example, I've been married to the same woman for 47 years, have two wonderful daughters and three granddaughters, and I had a zigzag but more or less successful career.

The important thing is to work closely with your pdoc. Make it a partnership: I think that's very important. Don't stop taking your meds even if you feel good. Especially if you feel good!!! Therapy is important, too, it can help in many ways.

I too have been kicked up into mania by antidepressants, though this doesn't happen to everybody. I believe there are other meds that can help deal with depression. Lithium seems to work both ways.

I've taken lithium for a long time. It does have side effects, but it works very well for me. I also take lamotrigine (Lamictal) and it has worked well for more than 10 years.

Again, welcome.
. . . all times I have enjoyed
Greatly, have suffered greatly, both with those
That loved me, and alone.
-- Tennyson
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by Caroline » Tue Jan 02, 2018 7:34 pm

Welcome welcome Stormageddon. Manic phase for days myself currently so pardon in advance. Brave one to come and have yourself bare. Freeing with no judgement. Labels are disabling my Tdoc continuously says. BP 1 or 2, well so long as you take the meds, give some therapy, a try, you will wade through this muck of bipolar easier, mostly.
Stay awhile, we have what you do, it's safe here.
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by Stormageddon » Tue Jan 02, 2018 9:08 pm

My nephew is on lithium and lamotrigene seems to be a winning combination for him.


I have a feeling I was dealing with this since my teens, lots of risky behavior. Some that probably could have lead to trouble with the law but was never "caught"
Married after my first son was born depression was bad... Second son again
I have times where I skip subjects to much talk to fast and want to go go go.. getting agitated when others can't keep up with my go..

The lamotrigene is helping I just wish I could get my sex drive back and not think or obsess so much on the thoughts of no longer existing.

Thank you on the name compliment. (Dr. Who fan)

I have found running Dungeons and Dragons once a week for my husband and a couple friends/family members has helped keep me busy, aside from my kids

( Homeschooling my 7 year old because public school wanted to put him in a contained classroom with nonverbal kids when he is in fact verbal)
My 4 year old has started talking in the last year, finally after loosing his words at 13 months (I'm forever afraid he will regress again)
We have had my nephew for almost 2 years ( but his mom still feels like a threat to me even though she has shown to not want him back)

I think I know at least a few of my triggers.. knowing that my boys may need me way past a typical adult age makes the thoughts of dying worse. I almost feel guilty for not being immortal which I know sounds stupid... I feel guilty also for not being more intimate with my husband..
The feeling of failing in all areas is just crushing..

I feel as though right now I'm in a mixed state so I apologize for the rambling. Currently fighting the need to run/curl up and hide

Getting my diagnosis was actually a great feeling. Just knowing was nice . Sorta turned it to fear knowing though what will or can come.
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by AvantGarde » Tue Jan 02, 2018 9:16 pm

Welcome :)

That's all pretty heavy to deal with, any other person without mental illness would probably have troubles as well, mental health issues affect everyone without exclusion.

I agree with Pan with the therapy part. It's really important not only for us but for those around us.
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by Stormageddon » Tue Jan 02, 2018 9:24 pm

Also my pdoc made a comment of manic people like to be manic

I don't find being hypomanic in any way enjoyable I don't like being out of control

Anyone else go against the same grain?
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by Stormageddon » Tue Jan 02, 2018 9:27 pm

AvantGarde wrote:Welcome :)

That's all pretty heavy to deal with, any other person without mental illness would probably have troubles as well, mental health issues affect everyone without exclusion.

I agree with Pan with the therapy part. It's really important not only for us but for those around us.



I will have to look into therapy for sure.. I don't know really why I haven't I guess I was falsely thinking it would not help.
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by AvantGarde » Tue Jan 02, 2018 9:33 pm

Stormageddon wrote:Also my pdoc made a comment of manic people like to be manic

I don't find being hypomanic in any way enjoyable I don't like being out of control

Anyone else go against the same grain?


Depends on the mania, gentle 'I love life' hypomania is most welcome. Racing thoughts and words, too much energy and insomnia are not welcome :) We never know what we might get, it's a very varied disorder. But I rather have hypomania than actual mania... Btw, my pdoc says the same thing, I don't think she's right either, we don't all fit in the same box.

Stormageddon wrote:I will have to look into therapy for sure.. I don't know really why I haven't I guess I was falsely thinking it would not help.


That's common, don't worry. I see a lot of people thinking that taking meds is okay, but going to therapy is kinda like admitting one is crazy. There's also the opposite around. Plus, you're just recently diagnosed, it took me about a year after being diagnosed to go back to therapy, after spending my teens being analyzed.
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by Stormageddon » Tue Jan 02, 2018 9:43 pm

Thanks for all the insight seriously!

I know I was only considered a issue teen wise towards the middle of my teen years but no one truly knew the extent of it all.

I got it together when I got pregnant and had my 1st baby at 18
Got married almost a year later
Still married to my son's father
Now 26 him 27 I think I had handled it all well but these last two years we're just alot
A huge game changer was the antidepressants that makes me worried to ever try one again

So I will look into therapy for sure

Does the feeling of - well like your standing on a cliff waiting for the drop.. ever go away ?
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by Stormageddon » Tue Jan 02, 2018 9:45 pm

Spm24 wrote:Welcome Stormsageddon. Nice to have you here.

Antidepressants sent me to the hypo area. So we found out that they are not something that really work by themselves for me.

I am diagnosed with BP1. But I have had episodes of hypo mania not full blown mania. So I do not think that it is cut and dry diagnosis. We are all different with our symptoms.

A therapist can give you different perspectives of what is going on. To help you cope and understand different situations. A therapist can help you recognize when things are going wrong and give you skills to deal with them.

Having all that on your plate can seem overwhelming. Dealing with it all is daunting. But just like anything you take it all one day at a time. That's all anyone can handle.


Different coping mechanism would be useful for sure
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by AvantGarde » Tue Jan 02, 2018 9:50 pm

No problem, we're here to help each other. :)

Like the others said, for some of us antidepressants are a big no-no. It stops being an option, think of it like we're allergic to those meds.

Stormageddon wrote:Does the feeling of - well like your standing on a cliff waiting for the drop.. ever go away ?


Yes it does go away. We first get used to it, and some time afterwards we kinda notice it's gone. Having to cope with a disorder of our own kinda becomes our life's calling. lol Doesn't seem very appealing, I know, but in a way it gives us a lot of control over ourselves and our mental health.
About the BP1 or BP2, like Pan said, labels don't mean much as long as the treatment is working. Treat symptoms, not a disorder.
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by Stormageddon » Tue Jan 02, 2018 9:59 pm

Thank you that makes alot of sense
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by Steponme » Tue Jan 02, 2018 10:28 pm

Welcome! I hope you can get the help you need. Lithium and lamotrigine did little for me, but I know that combination has done wonders for other people. I take latuda, which has kept me stable for the most part. It treats the depression side of bipolar 1.
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by Pancake » Tue Jan 02, 2018 11:09 pm

Stormageddon wrote:Also my pdoc made a comment of manic people like to be manic

I don't find being hypomanic in any way enjoyable I don't like being out of control

Anyone else go against the same grain?

Yes. I don't mind being hypomanic, if it's just feeling brighter, smarter, energetic. But often it comes with irritability, too.

The only times I have felt completely out of control is thanks to ADs (SNRIs specifically). I felt high, and it really scared me. For the same reason I only ever tried marijuana once. Freaked me right out :roll:

Everyone is different though.

As for standing on a cliff... it can take a while to trust the meds I think, once you're on a more even keel. Every time I started to go up or down with stress or hormone fluctuations, I'd think *here we go again*, but I haven't hit hardcore rollercoaster for probably 3 years now. Still ups and downs and challenges of course, but nothing like what it was before.
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