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Dvelky10: intro

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by dvelky10 » Sun Aug 06, 2017 9:50 am

Hello all. I am 51 years old and newly diagnosed Bipolar I with GAD. I have had a depression diagnosis for approximately 15 years because I failed to notice mania symptoms. Recently resigned from a high stress job due to panic attacks happening several times a day. My mania typically results in overspending and angry outbursts. I have declared bankruptcy once and came close a second time, all due to misuse of credit cards. Right now I am applying for early retirement based on disability status through my teacher pension fund. I am not sure if I will be granted the disability retirement, even though I have 26 years in the system. So, I am also mentally preparing myself to go find yet another job, and hoping I won't screw it up as well. Or, I will get the retirement and spend the next several years trying to focus on improving my mental health. Hoping for the latter, not the former will come to pass. Current meds are 300 mg Lithium, 150 mg Quietapine plus a daily multi-vitamin with iron. When I took the Quietapine for the first time, it was like 100 little voices in my head were quiet for the first time in my life. I am able now to think carefully about one thing at a time. I am really grateful for this medication. The lithium is helping me feel less depressed overall. I am grateful to feel in the normal range, even if I don't feel very happy. I enjoy reading your stories and challenges in these posts. Thanks for providing this support forum. -- :) dvelky10
The world is too much with us; late and soon, getting and spending, we lay waste our powers.---Wordsworth
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by Spm24 » Sun Aug 06, 2017 11:11 am

dvelky10,

Welcome to the forum.

As you know it is not easy to notice manic stages in ourselves. But once we do it gets easier to recognize. Many of us have suffered from misdiagnosis. Just as many of us were diagnosed as having depression.

Hope your bid for disability retirement goes good for you.

Enjoy yourself here. There are many stories out here that might help you just as your story will help others. Feel free to post what you like. Start new threads if you want to. That's what the forum is for. To share. To learn and to help. We are here in the good and the bad times...
Snowflakes gently floating from the sky just dusting the ground. Then it picks up bigger fatter flakes cascading from space at a faster rate. From a dusting to a trace. Then the deluge comes. Oh what joy. Watching everything slow to a crawl, then a stop. Step outside and even with things moving it is quiet. It is a giant muffler the earth is wearing. Causing everything to be muted.To be calm.
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by AvantGarde » Sun Aug 06, 2017 11:47 am

Welcome dvelky :)
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by Pancake » Sun Aug 06, 2017 2:33 pm

Welcome dvelky.

I've split your post off from the other thread so it doesn't get lost. You should be able to change the title via the edit button if you like, or suggest a better title and a moderator can fix it (:
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by Duckysmom » Sun Aug 06, 2017 2:45 pm

Welcome to BPS. Make yourself at home.
"Do not pray for an easy life, pray for the strength to endure a difficult one."
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by hal » Sun Aug 06, 2017 4:29 pm

Glad to have you here, dvelky. As you've seen, this is a very supportive and non-judgmental community. As you say, each of us has our own story, but there are many things we share as well. Jump right in!
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by 50calty » Sun Aug 06, 2017 4:38 pm

Hi!

I just joined also. If there is one thing that I can tell you and I'm sure you can read everyone's story. DO NOT stop taking your meds. I have personally not have anything positive come from it or never heard from someone have a happy ending. Just pay attention to your behavior and if you feel that something isn't right call your Pdoc right away. I hope this helps you. Just trying to have you not go down the road a lot of us been on by stoping our meds.
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by dvelky10 » Sun Aug 06, 2017 4:57 pm

50calty wrote:Hi!

I just joined also. If there is one thing that I can tell you and I'm sure you can read everyone's story. DO NOT stop taking your meds. I have personally not have anything positive come from it or never heard from someone have a happy ending. Just pay attention to your behavior and if you feel that something isn't right call your Pdoc right away. I hope this helps you. Just trying to have you not go down the road a lot of us been on by stoping our meds.


Thanks for the advice. My pdoc discovered that I am BP because of the way I react to anti-depressants. They send me into a manic phase! I dropped the anti-depressants on my own and tried to manage with sheer willpower. Not good. I should have returned to the pdoc immediately. Better late than never, I guess. But that is good advice for sure, and I have learned the hard way.
The world is too much with us; late and soon, getting and spending, we lay waste our powers.---Wordsworth
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by Pancake » Sun Aug 06, 2017 5:38 pm

My pdoc discovered that I am BP because of the way I react to anti-depressants. They send me into a manic phase!

Seriously, I feel like every time they put someone on ADs it should be far more carefully monitored. They're considered to be so safe. Oh, except if you have bipolar. :evil:

/End rant. Sorry Dvelky, common story :roll: it's enough to scare people off, it sounds like you are doing much better now?

Do you see a therapist too?
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by 50calty » Sun Aug 06, 2017 7:00 pm

I hate antidepressants. Thats is what sent me to the Pward the first time. And later in life my pdoc tried them again and it ended up me flushing my meds down the toilet and drinking. I planned for a suicide put somehow I snapped out of it. Then went crawling back to pdoc stating I will never be on antidepressants again. If you want to mess me up and have a possible suicide give me an antidepressant. I too wish they would screen more carefully. I wonder how many people have passed away because of this issue.
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by dvelky10 » Mon Aug 07, 2017 8:03 am

/End rant. Sorry Dvelky, common story :roll: it's enough to scare people off, it sounds like you are doing much better now?

Do you see a therapist too?[/quote]

I have not chosen a tdoc yet. Waiting to stabilize meds with pdoc, then I will get a referral for counseling. Yes, I am improving day by day. I am stunned at how bad I felt, in a deep depression that had been several weeks long, before starting the meds last week. Lithium seems to work well for me, and the Quietapine is making sure I sleep and don't have nightmares, etc.
The world is too much with us; late and soon, getting and spending, we lay waste our powers.---Wordsworth
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by Spm24 » Mon Aug 07, 2017 8:56 am

Finding a tdoc that you like is important. You have to feel that you can open up and talk about anything with them.. Good to hear your doing better on your meds
Snowflakes gently floating from the sky just dusting the ground. Then it picks up bigger fatter flakes cascading from space at a faster rate. From a dusting to a trace. Then the deluge comes. Oh what joy. Watching everything slow to a crawl, then a stop. Step outside and even with things moving it is quiet. It is a giant muffler the earth is wearing. Causing everything to be muted.To be calm.
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