Bipolar Support Forums To Share and Support One Another

Bipolar 2 Newbie

Ask questions! Share your worries and fears.

by bpmike » Fri Aug 04, 2017 8:47 am

I'm finding I need additional support and information aside from my regular psychotherapy and I thought this forum would be helpful.

I was diagnosed bipolar 2 within the last year and it's been with a mixture of emotions. I am taking several meds that have improved my mental state but I still feel far from "perfect." I still struggle with impulsivity as well as being "frozen" by fear. I fight feeling like a victim almost every day but I'm good at not outwardly expressing it. My concentration has improved but it still affects my work performance.

I'm looking forward to being a part of this forum. It's comforting to know there are many others living with bipolar disorders and that we can help each other.
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by AvantGarde » Fri Aug 04, 2017 8:52 am

Hi mike, welcome again :)

I get those feelings, I often freeze a lot specially in situations where I'm highly stressed. Nobody is perfect though, we've gotta learn how to love our imperfections (I'm working on it in therapy and let me tell you, it's not easy :shock: )

There's a lot of support in this community, we've all been through so much. Hopefully you'll find it's a good fit for you :)
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by Duckysmom » Fri Aug 04, 2017 9:00 am

Welcome, Mike. Reaching stability takes both meds and therapy. Sounds like you're doing the right things. Be patient with yourself. You'll get there.
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by bpmike » Fri Aug 04, 2017 9:06 am

Thx for the welcome AvantGarde :)

My biggest misconception was thinking all of my BP2 behaviors would disappear once I started on meds. Obviously I've learned this isn't the case. :lol: I have noticed my impulsive behavior is much more in check but I still struggle with impulsive thinking as well as paranoia. I'm working on these in therapy and you're right, it's not easy. I feel like it's trying to teach a cat not to meow.
"Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else."
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by Spm24 » Fri Aug 04, 2017 9:07 am

bpmike,

Welcome to the forum.
Snowflakes gently floating from the sky just dusting the ground. Then it picks up bigger fatter flakes cascading from space at a faster rate. From a dusting to a trace. Then the deluge comes. Oh what joy. Watching everything slow to a crawl, then a stop. Step outside and even with things moving it is quiet. It is a giant muffler the earth is wearing. Causing everything to be muted.To be calm.
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by bpmike » Fri Aug 04, 2017 9:12 am

Thank you all for the welcomes and feedback. I don't have anyone outside of therapy to talk about my BP2 so I'm feeling this will be very helpful. :)
"Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else."
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by AvantGarde » Fri Aug 04, 2017 9:13 am

:) Yeah, I get that. My cats meaw a lot, the real ones and the ones in my head :lol:

Paranoia will for sure subside with meds and therapy, I had it for a while after starting meds. Still do sometimes, but much less often. A few months back my upstairs neighbour (a 16yo kid who I could beat up if needed) had an anger fit and threw stuff out of the window, I locked myself home and closed the blinds. My tdoc (therapist) and I had a laugh about it, obviously the kid wasn't going to storm into my house, but still. Then I thought his mother knew I have a mental illness and was mad at me. Turned out her father wasn't doing so well and she was in a bad mood. My tdoc says there's a healthy amount of paranoia to live with, that it's actually necessary. We can't trust everybody all the same, some people just suck.
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by AvantGarde » Fri Aug 04, 2017 9:16 am

Oh and you can call me AG.. everyone else does.
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by bpmike » Fri Aug 04, 2017 9:34 am

Thanks for the welcomes :)

I have paranoid thoughts at work AND home so I managed to cover all my bases. I will starting thinking coworkers or supv are conspiring and I will think my neighbors are scrutinizing me to the point where I will only take my garbage out at night. :lol:

I used to be very social up until my mid 30s (I'm turning 50 this year). I don't like social situations of any kind unless it's with select family members or certain friends. I haven't discussed my BP2 with anyone aside from two family members and my therapist. I shared it with one friend which was a mistake so I've decided not to tell anyone who doesn't need to know.
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by AvantGarde » Fri Aug 04, 2017 9:40 am

Oh that sucks, the paranoia bit. I really hope you get better soon. What do your pdoc (psychiatrist) and tdoc say about it?

I'm a loner too, I do have friends but just today I was supposed to meet one and blew them off, wasn't feeling like talking politics for hours really. Once I get engaged I can't stop talking, and there are a lot of subjects these days lol

You said you had impulsive thoughts but your impulsivity is under control. I think that is natural, you just feel them more because you used to act on them and now you don't. Once you get used to not acting on them again, things will get better and you stop noticing them as much. Or do you mean intrusive thoughts?
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by bpmike » Fri Aug 04, 2017 9:52 am

My pdoc only moderates my meds but I talk about my paranoia with my shrink. I've been going to my shrink for about two years and it was about one year into therapy when he suspected we were dealing with BP that's when he sent me to a pdoc for assessment. Anyway, my shrink is really big on cognitive distortions and counter-thinking to alleviate them. This is where I struggle. The counter-thoughts won't stick. This is both before and after the BP2 diagnosis.

When you say intrusive thoughts do you mean like disruptive thoughts?
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by AvantGarde » Fri Aug 04, 2017 9:55 am

No, intrusive thoughts wiki article here..

I can relate to that frustration, but you're doing the right things, it will come around. You should probably discuss your paranoia with your pdoc, there are meds for it or maybe you just need a tweak in your current ones.
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by bpmike » Fri Aug 04, 2017 10:01 am

YES! Intrusive thoughts can be off the charts for me. Thank you for clarifying that. I've discussed it with my tdoc (is that for psychologist?) and I will talk more about my paranoia with both tdoc and pdoc.

Quick question...how do I add an avi and signature?
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by AvantGarde » Fri Aug 04, 2017 10:05 am

Ah, it's a natural occurance with depression. Good news is, everybody has them, for some of us they cause more anxiety than others. I have them too, although they're much more mellow now. This is where mindfulness helped a lot. "Thoughts are clouds, clouds pass, thoughts pass" and the thought kinda dissolves. If I try to fight it, just becomes worse.

Yes, tdoc is therapist/psychologist.

You can change your avvy and your sig there -> on user control panel, under profile I think.
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by bpmike » Fri Aug 04, 2017 10:48 am

I love "thoughts are clouds..." and need to remember to keep that in mind.

Thanks for letting me know how to edit my profile :)
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by hal » Fri Aug 04, 2017 11:14 am

Hi Mike. Welcome. :) Glad to have you here!
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Greatly, have suffered greatly, both with those
That loved me, and alone.
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by Pancake » Fri Aug 04, 2017 2:01 pm

Welcome Mike.

Therapy can take a while to really take hold. Polish a bit here, polish about there, it can be a slow process especially if there's a lot to work on. We do tend to develop a lot of faulty coping mechanisms that need tweaking.

Think back to before therapy... I'm sure you've already come a long way. If you've only been diagnosed a year, that's a lifetime of tangled brain to work through (:
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by bpmike » Fri Aug 04, 2017 6:10 pm

Thank you Hal! I'm VERY glad to be here! :)
"Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else."
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by bpmike » Fri Aug 04, 2017 6:13 pm

Thank you for the reminder that therapy can take awhile to see results. You're right, when I think back to the time before therapy, I am feeling and doing much better.
"Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else."
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by Mocha » Sat Aug 05, 2017 1:53 am

Welcome, bpmike!......I see you're already making yourself at home...... :)
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by Jinxiej68 » Sun Aug 06, 2017 2:43 pm

:ugeek: Welcome bpmike. I'm brand new, too. Hope you don't mind if I steal some of this wonderful advice!
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