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Manic examples please

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by Alison » Tue Mar 07, 2017 10:18 am

Okay this seems strange, but can you please reply with what you have experienced as manic episodes? I know what all the books say but I want to learn real life examples. I am trying to look back through my life, as hard as it is, as well as trying to remember it, and see if I have missed seeing past manic times. Thank you so much for sharing
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by AvantGarde » Tue Mar 07, 2017 11:01 am

To sum it all up without writing a huge wall of text: I did lots of drugs, drank lots of booze, had lots of sex, put myself in dangerous situations, thought I was god, stalked a guy (not serious stalking, just moved closer to him and sent him lots of text messages, never went to his workplace or home uninvited) because I thought he was my soulmate, continue to think I was god, had visual hallucinations, "talked" to my other selves in other dimensions, talked to my "past lives", had imaginary friends, started hallucinating things people said and things people did. Went to the hospital. This is in chronolical order.

The first manic episodes were a lot smaller, this was the big one. I had one smaller one where I was sure I was being contacted by aliens and held on to a button that said "Don't Panic" (Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy reference) and held on to dear life to it.

Had another one where there was just hypersexuality all around, bad decisions.
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by Spm24 » Tue Mar 07, 2017 11:20 am

Alison,

I slept about four hours a week. Had no desire to eat. Stared off into space for hours. Hypersexual with my wife. Agitated easily. Major plans to do this and that. Started projects before previous one was finished. Thoughts off money making ideas that were unrealistic. No desire for activities that I enjoyed. The major ones
Snowflakes gently floating from the sky just dusting the ground. Then it picks up bigger fatter flakes cascading from space at a faster rate. From a dusting to a trace. Then the deluge comes. Oh what joy. Watching everything slow to a crawl, then a stop. Step outside and even with things moving it is quiet. It is a giant muffler the earth is wearing. Causing everything to be muted.To be calm.By me
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by Kcampbell » Tue Mar 07, 2017 11:56 am

When I am manic, I have no regard for the consequences of my actions. I have stolen things, cheated on my husband, had indiscriminate sex, bought/adopted animals I don't need, started projects that I never finish, think that I am an angel or God's messenger to the world and have a higher purpose on this earth than other people. Eventually the euphoric feelings turn into extreme agitation because you are moving so fast that everyone else seems to be walking through molasses and they can't keep up with your brilliance. You wonder why everyone is so damn stupid and wish they could access all the parts of their brain that you do. There are so many thoughts racing through your head and so many things you want to do at once that you feel you are going to explode. You have the energy to do it all and you don't need to sleep or eat. You can tell you are going mad by the end of this because you are grinding your teeth for lack of sleep and food, but the thought of eating or sleeping bores you to death! Anyway, that's my experience. Thank God I haven't been there in a while.
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by Pancake » Tue Mar 07, 2017 12:14 pm

Risky sexual behaviour, superbrilliant ideas sparking off in electricbrain, starting lots of projects I often don't finish. Debt not so much, I'm kinda paranoid about money - but I will drive 3 hours while I should be packing to move house in order to pick up a particular fleece for spinning....

My highs are quite driven, but not particularly happy it's more of an agitated energy. I get so obsessed/involved in my tasks I can forget to eat all day, too "busy" to anything else.
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by Alison » Tue Mar 07, 2017 3:14 pm

Thank you so much for all the sharing here. I really appreciate it. In my past, at like 18, I have gotten 3 tattoos on a whim, out feeling like a big shot and can't really explain why, seems silly to have those and they mean nothing. Too much drinking, sex, soooooo many started projects, business ventures, best of plans but no follow through. Work-a-holic syndrome that comes in waves where nothing else matters or screw it all and do nothing. Like all gung-ho like it's the most exciting or important thing ever and then it just stops and I don't even care about it anymore. I don't really remember time frames is all, not sure if these episodes all lasted days or what. The rest of the times, like when I'm not on a mission of some sort, I'm anywhere from eh to rock bottom. Do I sound bipolar or just like a bad decision making lazy person? I'm sorry I'm just not doing well figuring myself out and the more I try the more upset I feel....
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by SlyPixie » Tue Mar 07, 2017 8:17 pm

I have so many projects that I started and never finished because in the moment I was all gung ho and when the mania wore off it just didn't seem that important anymore everything from business ventures to craft projects to learning different dance styles to learning other languages even learning how to code computers… So many different projects that I started and never finished. I can totally relate with that. You sound bipolar to me but I'm not a professional and that's just my opinion… Do you see a psychiatrist? That's the best person to diagnose you then you get started on the med go-round to help tame the mania and the depression...
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by Alison » Wed Mar 08, 2017 4:27 am

Thank you for the input. Yes, I have a pdoc who has me on lamictal, tiny doses to start. She knows me very little but is on board with the bp diagnosis (I was told from my testing that I had MDD, GAD, ADHD, PTSD, OCD and secondary diagnosis of BP, whatever that means) and after she gave me Zoloft and I felt like I was going to explode, she said it's BP and let's move forward. But, my therapist and husband are not convinced so it makes me wonder, so that's why I'm so confused I guess. I don't know why I feel like I need to know what it is and come to grips, it's just I'm like that I guess. Sorry today is a weird day, I have been seriously overthinking and need to get out of this funk.
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by Pancake » Wed Mar 08, 2017 5:00 am

Hey Alison, idk if your pdoc mentioned, but SSRIs (like Zoloft) and SNRIs are renowned for inducing mania in people with bipolar. It's how some people get diagnosed, and IMO not a fun way for that to happen (I know a guy who's still paying off a massive debt because his not-listening GP kept upping the dose :evil: ). Maybe that's something you could ask about next visit?

Some of us can't take them, others seem to be ok.

More importantly than your therapist or your husband, what do *you* think? (What qualifications does your husband have to judge?! Doctor of Googlage and Stuff I Saw on the Telly doesn't count).
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by Alison » Wed Mar 08, 2017 5:59 am

I guess the thing everyone is struggling with, except the pdoc, is that the manic-ish things are not the dangerous kind of situations everyone speaks about. Like I feel like the same day a few hours after my first Zoloft I was like buzzing on the inside. I was like, I need to do a million things and racing thoughts of everything but I didn't actually DO anything, rapid pressed speech, all that. Then I cried out of frustration. It was a hard day and I kept taking it but nothing got worse and I guess maybe it should have? Then Zoloft was phased out and Lamictal started and I liked the little bit of even feeling but it's still not enough yet. Then out of the blue this week my son was sick and my day started at 4:30 am and that day was the best day ever. I was on a cleaning spree and felt truly happy and hyper. I saw my tdoc that day and she said I was manic. But I just cleaned like a mad woman and was really happy singing and feeling so good. But that only lasted for 10 hours and I felt like a deflating balloon down to super sad depression. I know that there is rapid cycling but the BP diagnosis requires more lengthy manic type episodes so I think that's the hang up. My tdoc says the thing holding her back is the lack of typical manic stuff. Hubby is looking for real hard evidence. Does any of that make sense? I feel BP but maybe I'm wrong, I just want someone to tell me and be sure. Sorry for the long post..
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by AvantGarde » Wed Mar 08, 2017 6:08 am

That sounds like mania to me... but I say trust your doctor. It's never easy to accept a dx of mental illness.

I think your pdoc knows what she's doing.
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by Alison » Wed Mar 08, 2017 6:23 am

Thank you for the feedback. I have no issues with a diagnosis I just want it to be the right one, I guess I need to get on with it. I don't know why I'm stuck, I'm sure it's just another issue I have lol
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by AvantGarde » Wed Mar 08, 2017 6:31 am

I get it :) What worked for me when I was in doubt was if the meds worked or not, and a lot of self awareness, or as they like to call it 'insight'. I was first dxd with schizophrenia and fought my way out of that one for a long time, but first I had to accept it, read a lot about it, thought the symptoms matched.

Then time passed and I started to see myself still unstable, still with issues to be resolved. Tried resolving them with my pdoc at the time, which was no help at all, my tdoc helped me a lot though.

So, I'm mixedbiased lol I say trust your pdoc, don't trust the internet for everything, but research a lot. Read books by especialists mostly, that's the best way. Unfortunately, research often falls into the one size fits all category and forgets about all the others that don't fit in those boxes, adding a lot to generalizations.

We are all different, and the different illnesses manifest in different ways. My current pdoc says I'm textbook BP, but my other pdoc said he wasn't sure and thought I fitted best in SZ lol He was fresh out of med school so I forgive him :lol:
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by Pertalote » Fri Mar 17, 2017 3:41 pm

Allison, what you described with the mania only lasting a day or part of a day, that sounds just like what I experienced before I was diagnosed (about 2-3 weeks ago.) The happy, frustrated, zooming around, getting great ideas, driving like a nut would last no more than a day. Then I would crash and get depressed. My psychiatrist said what I was having was hypomania (a small mania.) Because of that, he said I had BP 2.
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by Sovereign » Thu Apr 20, 2017 3:30 pm

Jumping out of bed after 3-4 hours sleep, lot's of cleaning up and redecorating, going to the gym 4 times a week instead of 1 or 2, masturbating 2 to 3 times a day, sometimes going out at night for a little drive down the highway because I feel the need for speed. I can be hyper emotional. Bursting into tears because of a vid of a cute rabbit, or laughing because of a band clip that I think is the most awesome thing I've ever seen. I'm prone to obsessions. Other times, my focus is all over the place. Trying to write is near impossible. I can't focus on writing longer than a few minutes. Then the music gets me dancing, or playing guitar. Then the lyrics mention something and I wonder what it means - I start googling it and before you know it I'm watching videos of people tickling gorilla's or a documentary on ancient Summerian culture. It's bad, but I can still control myself up to a point. I can think to myself: "Nah, maybe I shouldn't" or "Remember what happened last time".

When the mania is at it's worst, I lack that restraint entirely. I lack empathy. I lack shame. I'm not aware that I am umberassing or hurting other people, and I tend to confuse other people's concern with control and manipulation. I skip work and appointments because I'm doing something 'important'. I'm prone to anger outbursts, and I drive while heavily under the influence. Recently I got delusions as well. I noticed that people started smiling when I walked past them. I thought my energy, my euphoria was passed onto them. So I decided to walk down the main street like 20 odd times just so I could 'infect' everyone. I figured that if I did that, and they passed it onto their families, soon the whole world would be infected, and it would put an end to war, hunger, poverty, etc.
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by cottontail » Fri Apr 21, 2017 1:27 am

I thought I could lip read. I thought the computer had a bug in it. I thought someone had come in and put bugs all through my house. I have a constant voice but when I am truly manic I hear lots of voices. I threw all my clothes out. I played music really loud all day. I thought I was going to marry someone who I had never spoken to. The rest is too foggy in my mind to remember.
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by Alison » Fri Apr 21, 2017 12:52 pm

Thank you all for sharing your experiences with me. Everyone has their own I see. I am slowly coming to grips with all this. My memory isn't too great, sad at 37, but I have been trying to journal so I can see patterns and keep track. Now I just need to stick to it, consistency is not at all my thing!
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by shandi » Sat Apr 22, 2017 3:43 am

i will share my own experiences as im new to this life myself..
i usualy end up extremely hyperenergetic as im an hyperactive person so i always say that i naturaly have energys for 3 people and when i go hypomanic i get energys for 6 people. i can not sleep for over 30-40 hours possibly although i usualy put myself on sleep meds before i reach the 30 hour mark
i once sat with my friend to talk he knew i wasnt doing well and was in this phase. i felt like im about to explode and note even tho im not a runner i went running for about a kilometer. a day before even when i myself dont have the physical strentgh to do so usualy i carried a realy heavy package. needless to say after those 2 incidents my body was broken for days. i get realy twitchy and fast speechy i get extremely sensitive to sound and many people yelling near me makes me just run away from the room. in my old computer i had 3 hard drives filled with design projects i never finished
i think a very difficult thing to do is accepting that i cant promise everyone that unwell behaviors would never occur again
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by Duckysmom » Sat Apr 22, 2017 4:03 am

I haven't been full on manic for a long time, mostly because when I get hypomanic, I go straight to my pdoc. Because when I start to go up, I don't stop and full on mania comes banging through the door. I've been known to scream, shriek really, break things, get this rage inside of me that is out of control. No one does anything right and everyone and everything is out to get me. I become a very hateful person. Suddenly take risks, say exactly what I'm thinking out loud when I should just shut up. Talk really fast. Hear voices telling me to do bad things to myself and feel the presence of someone or something that is not there.
I actually like the hypomania. I become very animated, talk a lot, spend money, become hypersexual, laugh a lot. Everyone seems to enjoy my company and I just love everyone. Tons of energy! But I know where hypomania leads so I call the pdoc or tdoc to come back down instead of crashing like mania makes me do. What goes up, must come down. The higher I get, the harder I fall.
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by crazymama30 » Sun Apr 23, 2017 4:09 pm

For me I get really irritable and agitated. I argue with my family constantly. I feel jittery inside, and think there are people talking about me and there is no one there. I don't get tired, so far I have just laid in bed and I fall asleep eventually. I start projects, I cannot concentrate on my school work. I want to talk to people constantly, and when I do? I overshare and have no filter.
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by Pancake » Sun Apr 23, 2017 5:03 pm

[/quote]I overshare and have no filter.[/quote]
QFT :roll:
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by Karen79 » Sun Apr 23, 2017 7:15 pm

I only get hypomanic so I definitely am not an expert on true manic episodes. But I had a lot of sex with ppl I wouldn't have considered otherwise. Did lots of drugs. Gotten tats and piercings. Very irritable and would have done serious harm to ppl if I didn't have extreme control in that area. Felt like nothing could go wrong. Usually followed by a severe depressive episode. You are definitely not lazy! And it's not something you do to yourself - though I don't believe that for applying to myself- hope this helps.
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