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Are you on that last little nerve? Need to get something off your chest?

Here's the place to do it. Vent away!

by Lovehope » Thu Oct 19, 2017 12:11 pm

I'm in so much pain today. I started seroquel two days ago and it seems to be bringing me down from my mania but I am crashing into deep dark lonely depression. I have no energy, no appetite, no desire to do anything. I spent most of the day in bed even though I can't sleep. I did manage to get to the post office and I took a bath. That was all I could do though. There's so much more I could have done but I have no other choice today but to accept that i am sick and I cannot do anymore. I cannot function as I did before. I have to run head first into acceptance or I will drive myself crazy beating myself up and it will take me that much longer to heal from this.

If I could please take a moment to feel sorry for myself, I hate that I was cursed with this fucking illness. I know so many people have it so much worse but I just feel like shit today and I need a moment to grieve the life I could have had without bipolar
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by Spm24 » Thu Oct 19, 2017 12:42 pm

Always look on the positive.. don't let the negative overtake you. You got more done today then I did..

This illness affects us in many ways. Some more than others....
Snowflakes gently floating from the sky just dusting the ground. Then it picks up bigger fatter flakes cascading from space at a faster rate. From a dusting to a trace. Then the deluge comes. Oh what joy. Watching everything slow to a crawl, then a stop. Step outside and even with things moving it is quiet. It is a giant muffler the earth is wearing. Causing everything to be muted.To be calm.
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by Cracked » Thu Oct 19, 2017 4:24 pm

Lovehope, I get the grief thing :/ I think it's okay to take a day every now and again to grieve who we could have been. It makes it possible for us to celebrate who we are most other days.
Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
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by Mocha » Thu Oct 19, 2017 4:57 pm

LH, It's ok to give yourself time to feel sorry for yourself when you need to......hey we're entitled with all the bullshit we have to put up.

And if it helps you feel better, I don't do anything like I used to. I was like OCD about my apt....everything had to be perfect, in it's place....spotless. I don't even care anymore. I manage to keep it clean but after that, it's clutter everywhere and like I said, I don't give a shit......

I don't always function like I used to either.......other times I do. As usual depends on the mood......and life situations. And I know you've had plenty of those recently.

Please stop beating yourself up. It's not going to do any good. You just started on the Seroquel. Give it time. I know it really helped me with the BP depression......have a little hope.

love you
Not A Professional of Any Kind ~ Just Your Garden Variety Nutjob

I look to a day when people will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.

~Martin Luther King, Jr.~

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by Jemane » Fri Oct 20, 2017 12:40 am

Depression is such a horrible feeling. It’s ok for you to feel sorry for yourself. I feel the same a lot of the time- f*** off bipolar!
Well done for getting out of the house. Sending lots of hugs your way.
You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.
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by Lovehope » Fri Oct 20, 2017 4:51 am

Love all of you. Thank you for taking the time to read my post and reply. I woke up feeling hypomanic as shit today. Wtf? Ugh. Just one thing at a time today
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by Mom2dani » Fri Oct 20, 2017 5:23 am

One minute, one hour, one day at a time.

"Today, I will trust this process and this journey that I have undertaken"
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