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Can I just rant? [TW Abuse, Sexual Abuse]

Are you on that last little nerve? Need to get something off your chest?

Here's the place to do it. Vent away!

by Moodylessa » Tue Aug 15, 2017 7:40 pm

Argh! First of all I was diagnosed yesterday, started pills yesterday today is day two. I am crazy moody.

Right now I am so irritated I could just start a verbal fight with someone for the -fun- of it. My stupid in law's came back from camping and now everything is bitch bitch bitch.

FOOTPRINTS ON THE FLOOR DONT HURT ANYONE MIL. First thing she does when home is bitches to my poor wife about it. Like get off your damn horse, yes it's your house but if you don't want fragging footprints maybe have carpet. Oh you have allergies?!

MAYBE JUST MAYBE if you saw a REAL doctor not a naturopath quack you'd have better freaking control over those allergies!

Of course we can't tell them I'm on New mental health meds, because they don't believe in that stuff. They take nothing but herbs, I'm immuno compromised living in a house where they believe vaccines cause the autisms.

Get your head out of your arse lady! My great uncle had polio he had friends who died in iron lungs. Do you want polio?! Cause that's how you freaking get polio.

My wife has BPD and is trans and so she has dysphoria and depression. She also has no tits when it comes to standing up to mommy and daddy. We missed the time when we could make food (not allowed to cook after 8 because it disturbs them). So now I have to wait for freaking toast until they go to bed, because Ky doesn't want to deal with them being jerks.

Like screw you people! I am freaking hungry making me more cranky.

Waiting on the stupid government to pay my wife her pension which she is entitled to and deserves for serving our country for 11 years of her adult life, until she got injured, and can't move.

I'm about ready to blow my top at these people. We moved out here when Ky retired to be closer to support because of my lupus. They had the BALLS to say that my SIL was disabled because she sprained her ankle.

No she is laid up. I am disabled I can't walk to the bathroom which is only a couple of meters away you f*ck jerks.

But positivity will cure me and I'm just not trying hard enough. It's autoimmune! My body is literally attacking it's self for the freaking fun of it. There is no cure, just management. DONT tell me I'm not trying hard enough.

Can't play video games, because we can only set up our PS4 downstairs. Let that sink in. The woman who needs a wheel chair, walker, or can to walk has to go DOWNSTAIRS to use her PS4, but, but there is no bathroom in the basement so every time I have to pee, which is a lot because my meds make me thirsty. So then I have to crawl my sorry painful rump back up stairs to pee and then by then I just don't have the energy.

This weekend we had the PS4 hooked to the TV on the main level. I vegged out for hours playing which soothed me. But now that MIL is home that's a no go.

MIL is going through "the change" and so she random just goes off on people. The one time she started screaming at Ky and myself I ended up closing our bedroom door on her after asking her repeatedly to either speak to us respectfully or don't speak to us until she calmed down.

Well then momsies had a breakdown off wailing dramatically after trying to open our door (I wisely sat in front of it and I'm not light, I need to lose weight) screaming her house no one closes doors on her.

I get it's her fucking house. But OMG. Our babies, pets, aren't allowed out of the room. Then they go off that the dogs aren't allowed out enough. Well they are service dogs, they get out plenty thanks. The cats pee on MILs shoes because they don't like her. So the cats can't leave the room. All weekend we had the cats out, guess what? They didn't pee on anything! Shocker!

Oh and they keep trying to split my wife and I up. Because I have issues and we keep fighting because oh look IM BIPOLAR, and you know just because you made vows doesn't mean you have to keep them.

Really it's because I don't believe in their crap and keep proving them wrong and have a darn spine. Well gee I'm sorry. Maybe if I didn't have horrible parents that abused me, and a bipolar mother who refused to believe that her husband molested me a my teen life I wouldn't be so screwed up. I've had to take care.of myself since I was 5 because my wretched egg donor that calls herself a.mother couldn't be bothered to get her fat rump off the computer and you know take care of me.

And my long haul trucker father was an addict most of my life, and I'm never freaking good enough. Needless to say those wastes of flesh aren't in my life.

I have PTSD from abuse especially from being screamed at. I handled MIL screaming with maturity, repeating myself as calmly as I could, though I did get a bit hot under the collar until I closed the door because I was triggered by her.

We are grateful they allowed us to stay but this is costing us so much mentally the stress isn't helping my pain at all. I'm ready to go out there and scream at them.

The last time I did that though, they kicked me out of the house, and Ky had to beg for them to let me back in because she was scared that her disabled wife would get worse living in the car in the front yard.

Ky is ready to live in a tent, but I know that's not healthy so I'm trying to be the voice of reason. We are getting the darned direct pay slip to the pension office tomorrow and I'm going to hound her to call and make sure we get our money. If I have to deal with my in laws much longer I may just super freaking Nova.

I'm tired of the voices in my head saying I'm a horrible person, I haven't self harmed in 2 years. But I do sometimes have SI and that's not good. Especially when they get after us. They're threatening to kick us out if we don't sit down and budget with them.

Because they work for a MLM financial company and their way is the best way. We admit that budgeting isn't our strong point but Ky and I are determined to stick to the budget we drafted out. My mania causes me to go on a spending flurry but now we both know that I need to be kept away from shopping during those times.

Did I mention Im hungry?! Hangry at this point.

I'm so done, I want to take a long walk and never return. But I can't walk, and my scooter is too heavy to lift out of the car, and where would I go?! No shelters will take us because we are a couple and because of our service animals. Like screw you we are being mentally abused by these people who claim to be loving family.

They will be in a very long time out if not cut off completely when we move out. Because I swear if I see their faces in person for a long time after this I will rip them off.

And my house will have freaking footprints because a house is for living in, not to be magazine worthy! Don't get me wrong a tidy house is lovely. But darn it all socks hurt my feet.

Because they are mad at me I can't eat in the bedroom, even though it hurts me and is basically not worth it for me to eat in the kitchen/dining area. Well screw you. I'm a freaking adult. I'll eat in my bed if I bloody well want to!

Also we are not children my God stop treating us like we are! I mean my.mother is a wretched person, but at least she treated me like an adult. Mostly because I told her where to go how to get there I pay rent if you don't like it go find a d*ck and sit on it and spin.

Argharghargh

Angry Lessa is angry and darn well hungry. Oh and Ky let.me have a few sips of her booze. I have all sorts of meds that say do not drink with, now now I'm hangry, angry, fedup and feeling the booze because of meds. I never used to be a lightweight now I am.

Also if my stupid ex that raped me finds a way to contact me one more time I'm going to punch him to the freaking moon. I dont care about your new GF. I don't care how lonely you are because she lives a few hours away. Maybe if you were a better damn person she would visit more often.

Oh and my rotator cuff is completely shot because of you jerkwad! But hey that's not your fault you were "young" because that excuse flies. He also encouraged my mania, and when I started meds for ADHD and started thinking more.clearly blamed the Adderall for.me telling him it was over.

No the Adderall allowed my chipmunk mind to piece together the fact that I want nothing to do with you, your mother should have spat you out in a Kleenex not even swallowed!

Argh, "Ky can you clean up the dog poop" we just did yesterday. Dogs poop woman, it's dark out and there are coyotes howling. No she can't clean up the dog poop. You want it cleaned GO CLEAN. IT YOURSELF!

They have their 19 year old daughter basically a slave for them. She doesn't have to pay rent as long as she does all the house work. To MILs standard of course.

Also STAY OUT OF OUR ROOM. Everytime we leave they go into our room. Tempted to by a lock but that's cause drama, because how dare you lock them out of a room in their house. We are trying to.leave you dirt bags, but it's not easy to find a place that I can live in. I can't do stairs a lot of places that work for us have stairs. So we keep searching. Also without my wife's full pension it's hard to live off the amount that she gets paid with a car payment, insurance, cell phone bill which btw we had to jack up our data as there's no internet so that's stupid expensive, food and maintenance for the pets, meds for us, and on and on.

And MILS suggestion don't have a car. We live in the middle of no where and the few times we borrowed their vehicles it was horrible, we had to tell them each place we we're going and why had to prove it with receipts, or a note saying we went to my doctor, and basically had a curfew because everyone goes to bed at like 11-1130.

And because we don't we don't follow their routine so we aren't doing anything with our lives. I'm sorry what?! No. We are adults, if we want to stay up we will deal with the consequences of our actions. Now feck off. Go fly a stupid kite. Gaaah!

/End rant

I apologise for the swears and anything that.may offend people.
Ballad of Serenity
"Take my love, take my land
Take me where I cannot stand
I don't care, I'm still free
You can't take the sky from me
Take me out to the black
Tell them I ain't coming back
Burn the land and boil the sea
You can't take the sky from me

There's no place I can be
Since I've found Serenity
But you can't take the sky from me
"
-Joss Whedon
Moodylessa
 
Posts: 102
Joined: Mon Aug 14, 2017 3:49 pm
Location: Ontario, Canada

by Pancake » Tue Aug 15, 2017 8:02 pm

My great uncle had polio he had friends who died in iron lungs.

Your idiot outlaws should be old enough to remember some of the bad themselves. Selective memory stupidity. What do they have against autism, anyway?

Rant away, swearing encouraged (: there are some filters, site filters, a couple of words may just show up as 'deleted'.
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by hal » Tue Aug 15, 2017 8:24 pm

First class rant, Lessa!

We used to have a weekly prize for best rant. This one wins hands down. :lol:
. . . all times I have enjoyed
Greatly, have suffered greatly, both with those
That loved me, and alone.
-- Tennyson
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by AvantGarde » Tue Aug 15, 2017 10:02 pm

Damn, that was some good rant!

Did it feel good to let it all out?

Honestly, fucking assholes that you live with. Some people just like to make life more difficult for others that already have it "so easy"...
Genetically evolved chicken at your service &
Shawn's part-time mind disrupter


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by Moodylessa » Tue Aug 15, 2017 10:12 pm

Pancake wrote:
My great uncle had polio he had friends who died in iron lungs.

Your idiot outlaws should be old enough to remember some of the bad themselves. Selective memory stupidity. What do they have against autism, anyway?

Rant away, swearing encouraged (: there are some filters, site filters, a couple of words may just show up as 'deleted'.


They are old enough to remember. But vaccines are toxic and big pharma this and that OMG. Why why why?! How did my wife come out of this crazy home mostly sane?! Also I swear like a trucker's daughter. They don't like it.

The last time I blew up at then I used so many profanities they were horrified and had 'never heard that language before'. I'm sorry what?! You both were in the military bull shit.

They also believe that getting student loans is the devil. So now both their youngest don't want to go to school. They managed to push 2/5 kids in to the military. 1 is married to a military person. The other two well. They didn't push so hard.

hal wrote:First class rant, Lessa!

We used to have a weekly prize for best rant. This one wins hands down. :lol:


Why thank you! I pride myself in ranting. My wife tried to "fix" as I rant and I'm like no just lemme rant woman! :Lol:

AvantGarde wrote:Damn, that was some good rant!

Did it feel good to let it all out?

Honestly, fucking assholes that you live with. Some people just like to make life more difficult for others that already have it "so easy"...


Yes, yes it did.

We'll see they like to make it hard because we don't follow exactly how they live. The middle child does, he lost his fiance recently because of it.

She couldn't handle his family, and frankly nor can I. I managed to get food, cherry tomatoes and carrots. We're vegetarian so this is adequate in my tummy to get me until morning.

Also..also

WHO LEAVES BAD FOOD IN THE FRIDGE? I saw mash potatoes and was like score mashed potatoes, opened the container and I swear the potatoes almost talked to me. The compost must have been full, so they leave things in the fridge until it's empty to avoid smells. Okay fine, but like designate a spot for that so people don't get their hopes up! I was crushed over no mash taters.

Calming down and feeling sleepy. Bed time soon. Then off to the bank to get a darker deposit form, fax it, then make sure pension gets it.

I'm telling you a cabin from a horror movie would be better than this. As long as it has internet lol. GIMME MY NETS!

Also a place for me to plug in my PS4 and kill video game critters. They hold no grudge if you kill them and it's legal.
Ballad of Serenity
"Take my love, take my land
Take me where I cannot stand
I don't care, I'm still free
You can't take the sky from me
Take me out to the black
Tell them I ain't coming back
Burn the land and boil the sea
You can't take the sky from me

There's no place I can be
Since I've found Serenity
But you can't take the sky from me
"
-Joss Whedon
Moodylessa
 
Posts: 102
Joined: Mon Aug 14, 2017 3:49 pm
Location: Ontario, Canada

by Spm24 » Wed Aug 16, 2017 8:28 am

Rant all you like. That is what this thread is for...
Snowflakes gently floating from the sky just dusting the ground. Then it picks up bigger fatter flakes cascading from space at a faster rate. From a dusting to a trace. Then the deluge comes. Oh what joy. Watching everything slow to a crawl, then a stop. Step outside and even with things moving it is quiet. It is a giant muffler the earth is wearing. Causing everything to be muted.To be calm.
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by Moodylessa » Wed Aug 16, 2017 8:41 am

Spm24 wrote:Rant all you like. That is what this thread is for...


Thanks, I'm a lot calmer after a good night's rest. Well as good as I get anyways. But I suspect that there will be more tomfoolery later. There always is :roll:

Wife is fighting a tension headache once it's calmed down enough to the bank we go to get that slip and fax it off.

Housing seems to be a bit lower in price, which is good. We may stay in an extended stay hotel until we can find a place (or it comes ready, as places out here rent out 2 months in advanced). At least we'd have more sanity.
Ballad of Serenity
"Take my love, take my land
Take me where I cannot stand
I don't care, I'm still free
You can't take the sky from me
Take me out to the black
Tell them I ain't coming back
Burn the land and boil the sea
You can't take the sky from me

There's no place I can be
Since I've found Serenity
But you can't take the sky from me
"
-Joss Whedon
Moodylessa
 
Posts: 102
Joined: Mon Aug 14, 2017 3:49 pm
Location: Ontario, Canada

by Moodylessa » Wed Aug 16, 2017 12:20 pm

And so it begins! Ky is bringing our TV up from the basement t for me. But didn't ask permission, despite both children that are home having a TV in their rooms.

MIL is upset, because what if I keep her kids up. No lady I have some common sense and won't play games loud. Go away. Go back to your garden or meditate, or pop some more of your stupid herbs that are "supposed" to help you calm down. Seriously.

Also more bitching about our dogs. I'm sorry it's +30 and they are black. No they can't go out to play right now they don't need heat stroke. They will play when it cools down. Oh and if I am told one more time they have to eat their raw outside despite HER dog being allowed to eat raw inside I'mma shove a chicken bone up her stuffed up nose.

Seriously, when I first met this family they were so kind and loving and I was overwhelmed with their out pouring of love and support. Now I know it's a farce. A farce farce!

Sent off the deposit form. Hoping that our money comes in soon before I lose my mind. Lamictal making me a bit jittery still, maybe it reacts with my Adderall a bit? I don't know, it's causing one heck of a roller coaster, I yelled at a piece of pineapple for not getting on the fork. My wife laughed the apsurdity of it. Which diffused me into laughing too thankfully.

Had some messed up dreams beside my regular programming of reliving horrible things. I woke up at 5am wondering why I had been riding a motor cycle pulling a pick up. Then switched to pulling the bike with the pickup. Like you can't even pull a pick up with a bike WTF brain. Seriously!

Nasty voices in my head today. Saying some mean things. I'm avoiding them the best I can but ugh I want to stab my brain with a q-tip! Shut up in there you guys! Everyone get along or I will turn this brain around!

Alright. Breath Lessa.
/Minirant over
Ballad of Serenity
"Take my love, take my land
Take me where I cannot stand
I don't care, I'm still free
You can't take the sky from me
Take me out to the black
Tell them I ain't coming back
Burn the land and boil the sea
You can't take the sky from me

There's no place I can be
Since I've found Serenity
But you can't take the sky from me
"
-Joss Whedon
Moodylessa
 
Posts: 102
Joined: Mon Aug 14, 2017 3:49 pm
Location: Ontario, Canada

by Mocha » Wed Aug 16, 2017 12:39 pm

Lessa wrote:WHO LEAVES BAD FOOD IN THE FRIDGE? I saw mash potatoes and was like score mashed potatoes, opened the container and I swear the potatoes almost talked to me. The compost must have been full, so they leave things in the fridge until it's empty to avoid smells.

Now that's just disgusting/nasty as hell..... :evil: :evil: :shock:

Have to say, you have the most awesome rants ever..... :)

And please don't worry about language here.........I have the biggest potty mouth on the site.....:lol:....

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The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.

~Martin Luther King~
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by Moodylessa » Wed Aug 16, 2017 12:45 pm

Thanks Mocha, I kinda pride myself on my rants. Feeling a high coming on. Hypersexual is my first "clue" though it did take a while to fall asleep. Calming my tits, breathing, grounding, and if I need to...well I'm married lol.

And there goes the vacuum. It sounds stupid but I have a phobia of them since childhood. Father didn't realize where I was turned on the bug shop vac to clean up a mess I made and ever since then I get super anxious about vacuuming. I can't handle the noise. Used to be, as a kid, my parents could lock me in a room just by putting a vacuum in the door. I can now touch one, but I shake like a leaf. It's irrational I know, but it's something I just can't get over. I'm 28 for fucks sake I should be able to go near a vacuum!

And screechy MIL ugh trigger. Breath. Don't need to get that high going, I don't wanna fight with Ky, I don't wanna upset her. I don't want to hurt her with words. Why do I get so feisty?!
Ballad of Serenity
"Take my love, take my land
Take me where I cannot stand
I don't care, I'm still free
You can't take the sky from me
Take me out to the black
Tell them I ain't coming back
Burn the land and boil the sea
You can't take the sky from me

There's no place I can be
Since I've found Serenity
But you can't take the sky from me
"
-Joss Whedon
Moodylessa
 
Posts: 102
Joined: Mon Aug 14, 2017 3:49 pm
Location: Ontario, Canada


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