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Just a Little Respect, Please!

Are you on that last little nerve? Need to get something off your chest?

Here's the place to do it. Vent away!

by Duckysmom » Tue Aug 15, 2017 4:35 pm

Auntie and I have been getting along fairly well lately, but today she got on my last nerve! I nearly blew up at her. Bill intervened, thankfully, and I walked away, taking a deep breath. But I'm still pissed so I have to vent this somewhere!

I have two rules for the dogs.

1) Betty, the 80 lb and still growing, Akita is not allowed on the furniture. Period. Not only does the whole couch move when she jumps on it (and we have hardwood floors), but she sheds like crazy. Sit down and you stand up looking like you've got half a sweater on your entire backside. We vacuum the furniture every week, but in one day, it's full of fur again. When asked if Betty has been laying on the couch, I'm told no.

2) No people food. Period. Obesity, diabetes, joint issues, whatever. I have seen what happens when dogs are fed people food. My dad and my ex are prime examples of damaging the health of their own dogs, not to mention the training issues that come with it. Stealing food, begging at the table. My ex's dog drooled on mt leg while I was eating dinner once. Grossed me out. The dogs get the best high end dog food available and the occasional treat of cooked chicken breat if that's what we ate for dinner -a smalk bit in their food dishes, not from the table.

Usually, I work from home on the days Auntie is at the senior center so I don't see the goings-on during the day.

Today, she was home. I was working in my office. Came out to get another glass of water and there's Betty, sprawled out on the couch and the couch has moved a good couple of inches. Auntie's caregiver looks up the stairs and gets a combo horrified/guilty look on her face and Auntie is whispering harshly, "Get off the couch, Betty. Hurry, get off the couch." I walked down the stairs calmly and said, "Betty, off." She got down immediately. Went to lay in her dog bed.

Now this is not a lady who can't scold a dog. I heard her from upstairs yelling at the big dog for being too rough with the little dog. They were just playing and the 9 lb pup, Abby, holds her own just fine. And if Betty actually hurts her, she's like the Tasmanian devil, backing Betty off very well! So I got up from my chair, went downstairs and brought Abby upstairs with me just to shut Auntie up. She was yelling so loud, I could hear ger over my music, which I had already turned up to drown out her damn blaring TV.

Again, I come out of my office, this time for my lunch break, and catch Auntie in the act of feeding Betty from her lunch plate. She pretends she's picking up something she dropped, but too late. She was giving the dog grapes! Deep breath. Deep sigh. "Please don't feed the dogs people food. And grapes are bad for dogs." Denial follows.

So after I'm done working, I go relax in the family room until the refrigerator repairman shows up. Door bell rings and I start heading down the hall to the stairs and she's screaming my name like someone's beating her. I said, "I'm right here. Relax." I let in the repairman and his partner. The seal on the freezer is leaking. We discuss the issue and they set about replacing the seal. We chit chat while their working. What kind of dog do you have? (Betty doesn't like strangers in her house so she was in her kennel in another room barking). Supposed to rain tonight, right? General bs small talk. They finish, explain a couple of things, leave. And then I got the third degree. Did you lock the door? Yes. What did you talk about? The weather, the dogs, whatever. Did you talk about me? Uh, no, why would we do that?

Fast track to finishing dinner. She has chocolate cake for desert (yeah, she's a diabetic but we gave up that argument a long time ago). I'm in the kitchen, putting things away, getting dishes ready to be washed. She's still eating her chocolate cake. CHOCOLATE cake. I hear, "Betty, come here, honey." Before I could stop her, Betty is cleaning up what she dropped on the floor. Grapes. Now chocolate. Fuck!

This is sounding petty, I know, but at this point, I'm ready to scream! Bill walks in just as I'm heading in her direction, takes one look at my face and gently nudges me into the kitchen again. And I tell him about my revelations concerning his Aunt's total disregard of my only 2 rules I put on her. And she just called my dog over to eat CHOCOLATE, damn it!

I feel angry. I feel completely disrespected. These are MY dogs. Abby came with me when I moved in and Betty was my birthday gift.

This is the same woman who won't let ger caregiver use my vacuum in her bedroom (hers is about 50 years old and the caregiver ends up on her hands and knees picking shit up off the floor) or my coffee pot (because she says she might break it). It's a freaking coffee pot, not a family heirloom!

Bill told me to go have a cigarette. Then he came out to tell me he set her straight. He showed her the scratches on the floor (yes, we have those bumper things, but they still scratch the floor when Betty slides it) and wiped a good amount of hair off the couch and asked her if she wanted to sit on that. Then he told her that feeding the dogs people food when she has been reminded dozens of times not to is just plain wrong - and chocolate can be deadly for dogs. He said she apologized over and over and started to cry like a child. He told her to turn off the water works. She's been caught red handed all day. She knows it's wrong. Period. And she should show some respect towards me even when I'm not there. In his words, he told her, "You just backed this relationship you've been building with her up by about 6 months. How is she supposed to trust you now?"

I feel better, but I'm still pissed. And I'm sorry if I bored you all with my whining.
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by Spm24 » Tue Aug 15, 2017 5:22 pm

Yet again another good post. You never bore us.

It is hard to get others to follow rules when it comes to pets. Just like kids. I can sneak and let them do this. It will never hurt them. No one will ever know
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by AvantGarde » Tue Aug 15, 2017 8:58 pm

Kudos on the restraint for not blowing up, I would really blow up for sure.

Damn, giving chocolate to a dog? What was she thinking?
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by hal » Wed Aug 16, 2017 6:01 am

Spm24 wrote:Yet again another good post. You never bore us.
Yes, indeed, a first-rate rant and one that is entertaining to read, even though I can feel your pain. There are two things our dog learned very fast, because they are important to us, when we got him last year (as a 9 y.o.): 1. Don't jump on the bed, far less lie on it, and 2. Stay out of the kitchen while we're eating. Thank God we don't have an "Auntie" to beak those rules. :evil:
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by Moodylessa » Wed Aug 16, 2017 12:09 pm

You have more control than I do. I would have lost my mind at Auntie so fast my wife's head would have spun around!

Our dogs eat raw, and kibble. We give them some things from our plates, but only if we deem it and only if it's healthy (say a carrot, a morsel of cheese, etc).

Now I do spoil my puppers with letting them on the furniture, they're shepherds so I get the shedding, and we had a husky so I REALLY get the shedding.

I understand from reading old posts that Auntie is Bills only family member left, but honestly I feel as though you two need to talk about living arrangements as she seems to me like she can't respect you.

My ex father in law was like that, and I finally told my ex that either his father goes into those assisted living apartments where he still can live alone and stuff but is checked on and the nurses made sure he took his meds, or I was going to walk out the door. Or lock ex father in law in a room.

Other than that. OMG I'm upset with you girl! Chocolate AND grapes?! Arg! It's a good think Akitas are large and the dose makes the poison for a lot of things. Wow that woman.
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