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Not an angry vent/rant

Are you on that last little nerve? Need to get something off your chest?

Here's the place to do it. Vent away!

by AvantGarde » Mon Jul 31, 2017 9:08 am

I'm not angry at all. These last two days I'm actually pretty mellow and upbeat.

With this illness we can go from thoughts of ending it all to 'life is actually pretty great' in just a few days, looking at the bright side of course. I'm not even worried about my future, I'm on the right track and I do know things will work out okay.

Just last week I was freaking out about everything! Hence the reason for this not angry vent/rant. I want to apologize, since I started trauma therapy I've been all over the place. I actually got to relax today and just play video games on my computer (which I really needed to distract myself from my internal drama) and I realized I've made quite a few accomplishments since I started therapy. I realized that for the first time in my life I called for help when I was feeling suicidal, I came here and talked with you guys, I was able to discuss it with a friend of mine, and most important of all, I was able to get over it. I understand now why my therapist believes in me and all the times you guys said you believed in me. It's so weird, I never did see myself as a deserving to be well person, but that changed and now I do.

I'm not even hating my mental disorders right now.. it's weird. I'm really mellow and like "well, that's how the cards were dealt". When in fact I think it's a quality of knowing I can go through this for my entire life, and do well in life despite it all.

So, my apologies for the last few months. I think I'm starting to let go of all the craziness that was getting to know my trauma.

It frustrates me a bit when others, like you guys, don't see the great people you are. You've been such an inspiration and a great support system throughout this time, allowing me to accept myself and others to get help. It's an amazing community we have here. Just hope I can help others just 10% of the help I've been given here.

My tdoc is amazing as well, he believed in my abilities even though I wasn't even aware of them. So yeah, thank you guys.

/ventrant over.
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Shawn's part-time mind disrupter


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by Spm24 » Mon Jul 31, 2017 9:45 am

It is always nice to be able to see the bright side of things. Not having your mind worrying about the future. Such a comfort not having things hanging over your head.

Your trauma therapy has you at times so unsure of yourself at times. I am glad that things are going a lot better for you. Now that things are clearer for you, you can see that you are deserving to be well.

You will live your life to the fullest extent that your capable achieving.

There is no need to apologise for what has happened over the last few months. It is what it is. Things happen. That's what we are here for to help others when the need arises.

As you know from experience it is not easy to see the good in yourself.. You help others a lot. I know that because you have helped me on numerous occasions. I think most of us strive to help 10% of what you help others....You have always been here for us even when you were down and not feeling the greatest....

These are good types of vents.....
Snowflakes gently floating from the sky just dusting the ground. Then it picks up bigger fatter flakes cascading from space at a faster rate. From a dusting to a trace. Then the deluge comes. Oh what joy. Watching everything slow to a crawl, then a stop. Step outside and even with things moving it is quiet. It is a giant muffler the earth is wearing. Causing everything to be muted.To be calm.
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by AvantGarde » Mon Jul 31, 2017 11:18 am

Spm24 wrote:
These are good types of vents.....


Right? I thought we could use some spreading of love :D
Genetically evolved chicken at your service &
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by Duckysmom » Mon Jul 31, 2017 11:40 am

AG, you give back so much of the time! You comfort and encourage and blow us away with your loving spirit and great intelligence.

And you've been such a help to me as my trauma buddy!

Hugs!
"Do not pray for an easy life, pray for the strength to endure a difficult one."
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by hal » Mon Jul 31, 2017 11:54 am

AG, I always like you here no matter what your mood. You always have certain qualities: empathy, compassion, a lively mind, and more good ones like that. I'm glad you're feeling better! :D
. . . all times I have enjoyed
Greatly, have suffered greatly, both with those
That loved me, and alone.
-- Tennyson
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by AvantGarde » Mon Jul 31, 2017 1:39 pm

A big hug to you guys
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by Jemane » Mon Jul 31, 2017 4:45 pm

AG, no need to apologise. You are such a giving, supportive, amazing human being. It's been a crazy few months for you but if anyone is ever going to understand it's us. I hope things are settling down for you. Well done on showing such resilience in the face of your difficulties. Thanks for all the support you've shown me when I've been low and suicidal in the past, you don't know how much it's meant. Love you heaps.
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by Mocha » Wed Aug 02, 2017 3:50 am

I just want to say how amazing you are and what a pleasure it's been to watch you grow so much.

And how much I appreciate everything you do here on the site. It wouldn't be the same without you. Never doubt again what a wonderful person you are.

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The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.

~Martin Luther King~
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by AvantGarde » Thu Aug 03, 2017 5:39 am

I've been skipping posts lately, brain fart for sure! I didn't see you guys' replies!

Thank you so much, you're so wonderful.

Love you all
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