Bipolar Support Forums To Share and Support One Another

Why the hell...

Are you on that last little nerve? Need to get something off your chest?

Here's the place to do it. Vent away!

by libellula » Tue Jul 18, 2017 9:43 am

This corner is dedicated to our daily frustration: my level of frustration now is very high and it's all my fault. For two weeks my daughter is in Scotland and instead of take the opportunity to relax me, I decided, always for my need of approval, to host my mom Who's got alzheimer to stay with me. Result: every day she's got al least two deep crisis and till yesterday I thought that I was able to handle it but now after her angry crisis I'm totally exhausted! Why the hell I've thought to be able to deal with her illness???why?
libellula
 
Posts: 103
Joined: Tue Jun 27, 2017 11:21 pm
Location: Treviso, Italy

by Spm24 » Tue Jul 18, 2017 10:07 am

Because we like to be there for others that are in need. It seems from alot of other posts that we have a lot more empathy for others than it seems alot of other people do.(jmo) With that it seems that we take things on our shoulders when we should be worrying about ourselves. Try to take it as easy as you can. Find times to decompress and be alone..
Snowflakes gently floating from the sky just dusting the ground. Then it picks up bigger fatter flakes cascading from space at a faster rate. From a dusting to a trace. Then the deluge comes. Oh what joy. Watching everything slow to a crawl, then a stop. Step outside and even with things moving it is quiet. It is a giant muffler the earth is wearing. Causing everything to be muted.To be calm.
User avatar
Spm24
Moderator
 
Posts: 3074
Joined: Wed Aug 17, 2016 10:18 am
Location: Ohio

by Duckysmom » Tue Jul 18, 2017 10:47 am

What Shawn said. You are a loving person with a big heart. Don't forget to take care of you.
"Do not pray for an easy life, pray for the strength to endure a difficult one."
Bruce Lee
User avatar
Duckysmom
 
Posts: 1236
Joined: Sun Aug 14, 2016 8:52 am

by libellula » Tue Jul 18, 2017 11:49 am

Thanks Shawn and Ducky! My tdoc was worried about possible deprivation of sleep, but the reale problem is to deal with her anger!
libellula
 
Posts: 103
Joined: Tue Jun 27, 2017 11:21 pm
Location: Treviso, Italy

by Spm24 » Tue Jul 18, 2017 11:54 am

Daniela dealing with others anger is not easy to deal with on a normal basis but if you are in a depressive state it makes things that much more difficult to deal with. Sleep deprivation adds a whole nother dimension to things..
Snowflakes gently floating from the sky just dusting the ground. Then it picks up bigger fatter flakes cascading from space at a faster rate. From a dusting to a trace. Then the deluge comes. Oh what joy. Watching everything slow to a crawl, then a stop. Step outside and even with things moving it is quiet. It is a giant muffler the earth is wearing. Causing everything to be muted.To be calm.
User avatar
Spm24
Moderator
 
Posts: 3074
Joined: Wed Aug 17, 2016 10:18 am
Location: Ohio

by Mocha » Tue Jul 18, 2017 2:48 pm

lib....other folks' anger is a huge trigger for me and i avoid it at all cost. But it seems you're in a situation where that's not possible for you.

people with Alzheimer's are exceptionally hard to deal with. Next time you want to have her over for an extended stay, try to remember the consequences, how it's going to trigger you. We know how much you must care about her, but you still have to put yourself first.

And there's no reason to feel guilty.

Not A Professional of Any Kind ~ Just Your Garden Variety Nutjob

The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.

~Martin Luther King~
User avatar
Mocha
Site Admin
 
Posts: 5441
Joined: Thu Jun 12, 2014 9:37 pm
Location: The North Coast

by libellula » Wed Jul 19, 2017 9:31 am

Exactly Mocha, next time I will remember of the consequencies! This afternoon I give up. After the usual afternoon crisis of my mom about 5 pm, I realized my boundary. I can't deal with the illness of my mom. I'm desperately crying now because I brought her like a package to an other person who will be paid for caring her. I've learned the lesson well...
libellula
 
Posts: 103
Joined: Tue Jun 27, 2017 11:21 pm
Location: Treviso, Italy

by AvantGarde » Wed Jul 19, 2017 9:50 am

Don't feel guilty Dani, we have boundaries and limitations, it's okay. I couldn't take care of my grandma either, and I've discussed with my mother that if it happens I won't be able to take care of her as well. It's really okay. As long as she is in good hands it's all good.

A big hug
Genetically evolved chicken at your service

My therapist says I don't have crazy eyes


Image
User avatar
AvantGarde
Site Admin
 
Posts: 5551
Joined: Mon Jun 20, 2016 7:01 am

by Spm24 » Wed Jul 19, 2017 11:41 am

You just found it was to much to handle. Nothing to be ashamed about. We all have a point where things are just too hard to handle. It is for the best that you are having someone else care for her. We know that you love her or else you would have never offered or realized it was to much...hug
Snowflakes gently floating from the sky just dusting the ground. Then it picks up bigger fatter flakes cascading from space at a faster rate. From a dusting to a trace. Then the deluge comes. Oh what joy. Watching everything slow to a crawl, then a stop. Step outside and even with things moving it is quiet. It is a giant muffler the earth is wearing. Causing everything to be muted.To be calm.
User avatar
Spm24
Moderator
 
Posts: 3074
Joined: Wed Aug 17, 2016 10:18 am
Location: Ohio

by libellula » Wed Jul 19, 2017 12:59 pm

Thank to everyone! Now I'm so exhausted that I feel myself like a squeezed lemon
libellula
 
Posts: 103
Joined: Tue Jun 27, 2017 11:21 pm
Location: Treviso, Italy

by Mocha » Sat Jul 22, 2017 8:51 am

libellula wrote:Exactly Mocha, next time I will remember of the consequencies! This afternoon I give up. After the usual afternoon crisis of my mom about 5 pm, I realized my boundary. I can't deal with the illness of my mom. I'm desperately crying now because I brought her like a package to an other person who will be paid for caring her. I've learned the lesson well...

lib......what you're going through is perfectly normal when dealing with an Alzheimer's patient. Please stop beating yourself up. Family members all over the world have/are going through the same thing. You mentioned the usual late afternoon crisis with your mom......that's called sundowning....it always gets worse then and certainly no fault of yours.

You did exactly the right thing by taking her to someone who can take care of her, and yes, that's what they get paid for. It takes a special person for that kind of job.

I don't know where your mom has been living before she came to visit but there are assisted living places just for folks with Alzheimers when it just becomes too impossible for them to live at home or with relatives, which eventually they will.

I'm not trying to make you feel guilty or bad...not at all......just saying this type of illness is no reflection on you.....nothing for you to feel guilty about in any way. And def don't feel guilty for doing what you have to do for yourself.......you're a good person..... :)
*Air Hugs*
Not A Professional of Any Kind ~ Just Your Garden Variety Nutjob

The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.

~Martin Luther King~
User avatar
Mocha
Site Admin
 
Posts: 5441
Joined: Thu Jun 12, 2014 9:37 pm
Location: The North Coast


Return to Rant & Vent to Your Heart's Content!