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Life with a passive aggressive

Are you on that last little nerve? Need to get something off your chest?

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by OnTheMend » Wed Jun 28, 2017 7:30 am

Some things said to me
How I would like to respond, but never do

I know you don't like shuttling the kids around but I just can't get away today
Mostly they complain about you and I try to defend you and they poke holes in every point I try to make; you're right - these conversations are no fun

You always have to be right
Project much? The only time you trot that one out is on rare occasions when my spine is in working order and I call you on BS instead of ignoring it

Marriage is about more than sex
No kidding; we haven't had any in a long time. Apparently, it's also about frustration and emotional abuse

You have been sneaking drinks and violated my trust
Only because you make an even bigger stink if I drink around you, though you feel free to drink around me. You rarely do, preferring to do it at social events with friends, which you drive to.

You violated my trust. If I were to have sex with you now, I would feel like a hooker.
Put on some fishnet stockings while I run to the ATM.

Everything I do is for everyone else, but everyone else just looks out for themselves.
If it's always about how it's never about you, then it's always about you.

You've been very lucky to do so well with just tech school; but you need to make sure it doesn't sound like a good alternative to college
It's possible I am very good at what I do. If one of the kids wants to learn a trade, I will support them in that.

You didn't discourage _(local community college/votech)_ because you are cheap
It sounds like a better recipe for success than brow beating a kid into seeking a degree when he doesn't feel ready and isn't sure he ever will be

The speed limit here is 55. you have no right to risk our safety.
I feel so much safer when every car on the road comes within 3 feet of me to pass

There isn't much on the list, but I better run to the store because ___ has been making a lot of smoothies lately and you used the last of the yogurt
If you want Starbucks and a cigarette, why don't you just say so?

You don't really try to make me feel special
You turn me down for date nights, start playing Candy Crush if I sit on the couch next to you and most of our conversations end with you saying one of the things in red and me sulking in silence because I am too spineless to say the stuff in blue
OnTheMend
 
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by hal » Wed Jun 28, 2017 12:07 pm

You have a lot of insight. :)
. . . all times I have enjoyed
Greatly, have suffered greatly, both with those
That loved me, and alone.
-- Tennyson
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hal
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by OnTheMend » Wed Jun 28, 2017 3:27 pm

I am writing about it on forums under different names and discussing it largely to get my courage up and feel stronger about it being the right thing to do to issue an ultimatum (about 90% chance that is ending it) that we go to couples counseling with either someone we saw years ago or a similar practice. She was a psychologist and met with us individually as well as together and I aw a big difference in how my wife approached things after her individual settings. She needs another wake up call. My primary doctor is advising me to get out; it's toxic and a health concern. But I want to give her a chance, even though I don't think she will take it.
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