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Difficulty with school since dx

School and Bipolar Disorder? How do you do it? Please share your experiences, your victories, and even your disappointmens. We understand how hard it must be from high school to college to grad school. Hope you can share with us and find the support you need.

by OceanBlue » Tue Oct 18, 2016 9:04 pm

Ever since my diagnosis a little over a year ago, I haven't been the same academically. I feel like I lost something & my focus is off. In my undergrad, I was a 4.0 student. I did well in my first year of grad school. I was such a good student. Then I burnt myself out. Now, I skip classes & miss my homework & reading deadlines. ADA helps, but still I don't feel & I am not acting as I used to act in regards to academics. I spend more time at the pub then I do doing homework & even perhaps going to class. I don't know what's wrong. I've just been a little "off" academically since my diagnosis & I don't really know why. I know I was burnt out & had a breakdown last year, but I rested for 7 months. I'm back & I do love academics, so why has it become so difficult to focus on school? I don't expect an answer...but it's a question i've been asking for a few weeks now...I guess my fear right now is that I will withdraw from school again, I haven't really been engaged in a month & I already dropped a course...have I lost the motivation & discipline? Something seems to be wrong...not sure of all the factors at play, but I will keep trying...hopefully I will be meeting with a school counselor soon, I don't have a tdoc yet.
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by Mocha » Thu Oct 20, 2016 3:21 am



Ocean.....hopefully some of the others who've been in your position will be chiming in. I was thinking maybe it has something to do with getting used to being on different meds?.....plus having a 'breakdown' can take a lot out of us. Like anything else, it can take a while to heal.

I'm glad you're going to see the school counselor. Have you tried to find a tdoc?



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by SoreBrain » Thu Oct 20, 2016 3:47 am

I feel the same way. I was also a 4.0 student and then I started my medication and relaxed. I feel like it's a good thing that I'm not so obsessed over my grades anymore, but it is so much harder. Are you on medication now?

Anytime I forget to take them or don't get a refill on time I go through a slump where I feel like school doesn't matter and I don't do work at all. I missed two weeks of homework and now I'm struggling to catch up and not fail my classes completely.

I also felt like my head was more clear when I didn't take medication. I was uptight, stressed and angry all of the time, but I could knock out some awesome work. Now that I'm relaxed and happier, it's almost like the priority to be perfect has gone out the window.

Not sure if that was much help, but you're not alone. <3
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by OceanBlue » Thu Oct 20, 2016 11:17 am

Thanks Mocha & Sorebrain,
I'm still trying to call for a tdoc. I was hoping that the school counselor would help me find one. I have tried calling someone, but I should probably spend today & tomorrow looking for a tdoc. I was doing fine this semester until I went without a med for 3 weeks & then had to get back on that med, so that could possibly be the reason why. Still, I feel like I lost my spark...

Thanks for sharing Sorebrain, hope school goes well for you
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by SoreBrain » Fri Oct 21, 2016 7:02 am

I know what you mean, but if you're anything like me, I feel like the spark was stressful because I had a million projects going on all at once so I would jump subject to subject and always be thinking about the next subject while working on the current one. I had a million thoughts in my head all of the time but I feel like I can focus finally which has helped with my self reflection and my relationships. I think I came to a point where I was able to prioritize what is the most important and sometimes other things are more important than a perfect score and that's okay. I just have to figure out how to balance it enough where I'm not failing completely. Hahahahah
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by OceanBlue » Mon Oct 31, 2016 2:51 pm

Update:
Soooo I have withdrawn from grad school for the second year in a row. Damn. I have the weekend to move out of campus housing & find a place to stay...
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by Spm24 » Mon Oct 31, 2016 3:10 pm

OceanBlue,

Sorry to hear that. Hope that things get better for you...
Snowflakes gently floating from the sky just dusting the ground. Then it picks up bigger fatter flakes cascading from space at a faster rate. From a dusting to a trace. Then the deluge comes. Oh what joy. Watching everything slow to a crawl, then a stop. Step outside and even with things moving it is quiet. It is a giant muffler the earth is wearing. Causing everything to be muted.To be calm.
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by SoreBrain » Tue Nov 01, 2016 10:11 am

Only you know what's right for you. School isn't for everyone. Like me. I'm just so close to graduating I would kick myself if I quit now. I hate school.

I hope your moving weekend goes smoothly :-)
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by Pancake » Tue Nov 01, 2016 11:34 am

Sorry it didn't work out Blue. hope you are ok.
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by OceanBlue » Tue Nov 01, 2016 5:04 pm

Thank you guys!
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by Polrus » Tue Nov 01, 2016 5:56 pm

I had to do university one year on one year off. It's no big deal. It just takes longer. Whatever you do, don't beat yourself up. It's okay, it happens. Take care. Look after yourself. =)
Stars, hide your fires; Let not light see my black and deep desires.

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by Paco » Thu Nov 17, 2016 9:53 pm

Hi,

In my experience I think it is different for everyone. I started in school a long time ago had a breakdown and left. Years later I went back had a physical problem and left and am now back and doing well. When the time is right you will know.
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by Trevor » Mon Nov 21, 2016 5:09 pm

I was diagnosed while i was in high school and my grades suffered badly. the semester after high school i took a class at the community college and started working. when i was twenty four i couldn't hold a job but i just kept taking one or two classes a semester.
thirteen years later, at the age of thirty one i finally had a bachelor's degree and the major was comparative religions.
the faculty at my college would not accept me into grad school, at least not the creative writing department that i wanted to attend. while i was an undergrad trying to move into the english department to make it into grad school, my father died. that coupled with health problems that required pain killers which made me forget to take my meds did not look good to the faculty. it was so obvious i had "issues" that i would never be accepted to grad school at the local university.
so i located a school in a neighboring state and spent three years taking all of their graduate classes online. now i have a masters in creative writing/literature.
the biggest obstacle to a degree is time. i don't have the money for another masters or the desire for a phd. i never gave up, some semesters i had to withdraw or skip and i only went part time almost the whole way.
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