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I’m happy and content

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by Jemane » Fri Dec 22, 2017 8:45 pm

It was a hard night last night at the Christmas party with loads of relatives from the cult I grew up in. I survived.
And today, I’m actually feeling happy and content.
I’m not up, in not down.
I overcame a difficult situation.
Feeling glad.
Think it’s going to be an ok Christmas this year.
You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.
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by hal » Fri Dec 22, 2017 8:59 pm

Jemane wrote:It was a hard night last night at the Christmas party with loads of relatives from the cult I grew up in. I survived.
And today, I’m actually feeling happy and content.
I’m not up, in not down.
I overcame a difficult situation.
Feeling glad.
Think it’s going to be an ok Christmas this year.

Well, hey! I'm so glad you feel better. You can indeed be proud of yourself for having made it through.

I'm glad you hung out with us as you went through it.
. . . all times I have enjoyed
Greatly, have suffered greatly, both with those
That loved me, and alone.
-- Tennyson
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by AvantGarde » Fri Dec 22, 2017 9:23 pm

I'm glad you're feeling alright :)
Genetically evolved chicken at your service

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Never surrender your freedom of being to the veridict of those who are strangers to your inner workings
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by Jemane » Sat Dec 23, 2017 12:56 am

My pdoc thinks the self harm/SI thoughts I get are related to repressed anger and the more I think about it the more I’m starting to think he’s right. Bit afraid to dig deep to see if it’s true. Too painful. If you met me you’d say I was the least angry person you ever met. I’ve pushed it all down somewhere deep inside of me.
Will talk to the tdoc about it sometime in the new year.
You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.
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by Mocha » Sat Dec 23, 2017 3:04 am

I'm so happy for you Jemane......You're getting stronger and stronger...... :)

Not A Professional of Any Kind ~ Just Your Garden Variety Nutjob


I look to a day when people will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.

~Martin Luther King, Jr.~

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by Pancake » Sat Dec 23, 2017 5:13 am

You did good (:
How do you go, having the kids exposed to that stuff?

I didn't know how to be angry either, only how to cry when the dam burst. So suppressed from childhood, I'm still learning. I hope your journey is not as difficult as you are expecting (:
Totally sane mermaid-siren of Vegemiteland
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by Spm24 » Sat Dec 23, 2017 6:34 am

Had to be a relief to have that over with. Not sure how I would hold up having to back around people in that old situation of yours. Enjoy the rest of your holiday..
Snowflakes gently floating from the sky just dusting the ground. Then it picks up bigger fatter flakes cascading from space at a faster rate. From a dusting to a trace. Then the deluge comes. Oh what joy. Watching everything slow to a crawl, then a stop. Step outside and even with things moving it is quiet. It is a giant muffler the earth is wearing. Causing everything to be muted.To be calm.
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