Bipolar Support Forums To Share and Support One Another

Christmas blues

Have a case of the blues? Sad? Or in that dark place we all know far too well? Well, pull up a chair, order a cup of your favorite brew and tell us all about it. We're ready to listen, and offer our support and understanding.

by AvantGarde » Tue Dec 05, 2017 2:07 am

I've got the blues this year instead of hypomania. And it sucks. I'm not depressed, really depressed. I'm active and have stamina, shower every day, cook, clean, the normal stuff. But shit has been happening lately, too much shit, that it finally got to me today. I was keeping my usual "be angry not to feel anything else" mask to myself, but it didn't last long.

So, forgive me if I'm not going to be around the board as much.

Meh
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by Jemane » Tue Dec 05, 2017 2:25 am

The blues suck.
Take all the time out you need to to recover and recuperate.
Sounds like you’ve got a lot going on at the moment.
Sending hugs in your direction. All the best and much love.
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by AvantGarde » Tue Dec 05, 2017 3:14 am

Thanks Jemane. Just ate the last cookie and feel better lol
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by MochaAdmin » Tue Dec 05, 2017 3:38 am

Enjoy your break....You have had a lot to deal with lately.

We love you, girlie.....

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by hal » Tue Dec 05, 2017 3:43 am

The cookie solution is the best!

I know how you feel AG. Depression is a hurricane, the blues are a summer storm. Hope you feel better soon. Meanwhile, take care of yourself. You know how. HUGS and love!
. . . all times I have enjoyed
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by AvantGarde » Tue Dec 05, 2017 3:52 am

Thanks guys, love you too.

And yeah, I went to sit on the sun just now, smoking a cig enjoying the sun in this very cold day. Anxiety is a bit high but I'm trying not to take a benzo before tonight, in order to be responsible and not sleepy. :? Cunnundrums.
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by Duckysmom » Tue Dec 05, 2017 5:04 am

Hope the blues don't last long, AG. Feel better.
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by AvantGarde » Tue Dec 05, 2017 5:16 am

Thank you Ducky <3

I was just thinking about two things, first is that this is the first Christmas after starting trauma therapy. New tdoc is more gentle in handling it, but we're talking about stuff.
Second is, there is still time for Christmas hypo. After a down usually follows an up, and vice versa.
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by dubious66 » Tue Dec 05, 2017 5:29 am

AvantGarde wrote:I've got the blues this year instead of hypomania. And it sucks. I'm not depressed, really depressed. I'm active and have stamina, shower every day, cook, clean, the normal stuff. But shit has been happening lately, too much shit, that it finally got to me today. I was keeping my usual "be angry not to feel anything else" mask to myself, but it didn't last long.

So, forgive me if I'm not going to be around the board as much.

Meh


Why does there always seem to be so much shit going on? (I blame overpopulation ;). ). Look in the sand and maybe you'll find some buried joy.

Ummm, and on the threat to disappear, I'll Have a Blue Christmas Without You.
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by AvantGarde » Tue Dec 05, 2017 5:41 am

Ñoooo, ño señorita! My blues can't be contagious...!
I will be around, just don't have much strenght to give emotional support, and after today I'll need some time to myself, organize stuff to feel in charge of something.

As far as sand, future looks bleak :shock: It will get better though, I'm a fighter and non conformist.
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by dubious66 » Tue Dec 05, 2017 5:48 am

AvantGarde wrote:Ñoooo, ño señorita! My blues can't be contagious...! organize stuff to feel in charge of something.


I would normally suggest graphing m&ms by color, making sure they are oriented by front and back, and top and bottom; but since you are trying to stay away from sugar, how about the sock drawer? Don't forget to put brown between the black and navy blue.

Good luck with regaining your sense of control.
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by AvantGarde » Tue Dec 05, 2017 6:01 am

Exactly what I was thinking, organizing my closet, my drawers, my shelf, my stuff in the garage and in storage. A lot of stuff to goodwill probably.

I have dark chocolate, 100% cocoa, I can muster organizing it too :lol:
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by hal » Tue Dec 05, 2017 6:16 am

Man, 100% cocoa. I thought 70+% was a lot.

And now I will take the opportunity to hijack this thread. I may have told this story before.

Before we went to SE Asia our daughter asked us to find some Maron chocolate if we could. It's made in Vietnam and is supposed to be exceptionally good. So we asked our guide, he looked for it on his phone, and found a shop right around the corner. Done and done.

Later in the Mekong delta we visited a family-owned coconut candy factory where the woman who owns the place grows her own coconut. She also grows cacao beans, and sells them to the two French guys who make the Maron candy. Small world.
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by AvantGarde » Tue Dec 05, 2017 6:23 am

Awesome story hal :D

I love 100% cocoa. I prefer it to sweetened chocolate, or milk chocolate.
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by AvantGarde » Tue Dec 05, 2017 8:09 am

In the topic of no sugar, went to the dentist yesterday and doc was impressed. For the first time ever I didn't have a single cavity and hardly any plaque. He actually eats low carb too, and unrelated, has 4 cats.
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by Spm24 » Tue Dec 05, 2017 10:15 am

Yeah no cavities..little plaque. Happy news for you :P .

Your right usually one follows another. But that is not always the case. Sometimes stability slips it head in there.
Snowflakes gently floating from the sky just dusting the ground. Then it picks up bigger fatter flakes cascading from space at a faster rate. From a dusting to a trace. Then the deluge comes. Oh what joy. Watching everything slow to a crawl, then a stop. Step outside and even with things moving it is quiet. It is a giant muffler the earth is wearing. Causing everything to be muted.To be calm.
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by Pancake » Tue Dec 05, 2017 11:43 am

Great teeth-looking after there (:

Being down sucks.
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by AvantGarde » Tue Dec 05, 2017 11:51 am

I'm feeling more relaxed now, benzo and knowing kitty is alright. Will tuck myself in bed early and rise and shine in the morning if the gods allow.

Thank you for the support and keeping me company today everyone :)

Love you all, great family here
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by Jemane » Sat Dec 09, 2017 10:04 pm

How are you going now AG? Any improvement or do the blues continue?
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by AvantGarde » Sat Dec 09, 2017 10:08 pm

Had a problem with meds (took two doses by accident - was looking at birdies by the window and got distracted lol - then missed the next dose as safety because *freaked out by internet*) so got a little hypo yesterday to balance things out. :?

Seems to be back to normal today, after sleeping for 10 hours straight.
Not feeling either blue or overltly excited today.

Thanks for asking! :D
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by Jemane » Sat Dec 09, 2017 10:10 pm

What a drama! Glad you’re doing ok in spite of all that. I remember one night thinking maybe I took 2 doses of lithium but I couldn’t remember. Freaked out quite a bit that I’d end up with kidney failure or something but all was ok.
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by AvantGarde » Sat Dec 09, 2017 10:15 pm

Me too! I read about cerebral aedema and freaked the hell out, my symptoms were basically anxiety when I called the health number thingy (service to avoid clogging the ED), so the nurse on the phone just kept talking to me and asking questions, very calmly. Asked me the same questions over and over, I just kept thinking "I'M GOING TO DIE AND HE ASKS ME ALL THESE POINTLESS QUESTIONS!" :lol:

Now that it's over it's pretty funny :lol:
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by Jemane » Sat Dec 09, 2017 10:19 pm

Yes, i can definitely see the humour in it now. I think sometimes when we are in the midst of things like this it’s hard to see things rationally.
I mean a double dose is really not much more than a normal dose. The probably of that causing any harm is extremely low.
Glad you’re ok though of course :D
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by AvantGarde » Sat Dec 09, 2017 10:29 pm

Yeah, I thought about it being minor too once it happened, but freaked out regardless :lol: I do have GAD, so forgive me folks for making a big deal out of it. The problem could be brain, liver or kidneys too. Lots of freaking out factors :lol:

A toxicology website said bellow 200mg per kg would just mean drowsiness, and that's what I experienced.

The health number guys made a bigger deal out of it than me, I tell you! They called to check up on me and the guy said "So, you ingested a substance?" and I was like "Well, not just any substance I found on the street or anything!" Lol
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by Jemane » Sat Dec 09, 2017 10:32 pm

AvantGarde wrote:The health number guys made a bigger deal out of it than me, I tell you! They called to check up on me and the guy said "So, you ingested a substance?" and I was like "Well, not just any substance I found on the street or anything!" Lol


:lol:

I love that drugs I take every single night are ‘a substance’ - makes them sound scary!
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