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current episode:mania with psychotic features

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by shandi » Tue Nov 28, 2017 7:06 am

.... yep thats what has been happening lately. 2 mania episodes 3 weeks apart from each other and yes i know its mania not just hypomania.. but now my old psychoticness had come back [already had some see and hear wierd things ] as a result of the first manic episode i had almost a month ago my pdoc messed up and ended up in me panicking and ditching all of my mood stabilisers and "relying" on seroquel solo.. and then came this week wake up with insane energy motivation agitated irritated pissy "asshole" cursed people around me and started on the make a bad decisions train... i tried to stop seroquel too last night as i felt im still getting hallucinations so it must not be working properly so why take it. untill friends bugged me so bad i gave in and took it.. slowly losing insight or any emotion or feeling of dread of consequences.. i was supposed to have a pdoc appointment tomorrow but they had to reschedule for 6th december and by then my tdoc is realy concerned and worried especialy when someone today decided to take a dump on me making me feel more angry and enraged. [hes gona get it from me]
i might have to go inpatient as i feel like i cant stop it and described it as being in a car going downhill with no breaks
a realy good friend of mine wants to take me to try and see a psychiatrist tomorrow
i think a very difficult thing to do is accepting that i cant promise everyone that unwell behaviors would never occur again
shandi
 
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by shandi » Tue Nov 28, 2017 7:14 am

should also state that ive decided not to fight what i feel think or do as im still mentaly exhausted from last time few weeks ago.. been doing some naughty and things and its the only time i have energy and motivation for days ive been drawing a big mania fueled and infused art project
i think a very difficult thing to do is accepting that i cant promise everyone that unwell behaviors would never occur again
shandi
 
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by AvantGarde » Tue Nov 28, 2017 7:17 am

Damn shandi, that sucks. Really hope you'll go see that pdoc tomorrow.

I also think this situation might call for ER control if you don't see that pdoc tomorrow, if you feel you're losing insight and already tried to stop taking your meds. It's usually a sign, we see the meds as the reason for symptoms.. for some reason, go figure.. happened to me too.

Please don't stop taking the seroquel, and once you're better ditch that pdoc of yours that obviously can't do his job properly.
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by shandi » Tue Nov 28, 2017 7:23 am

i already ditched the pdoc that messed up but i was supposed to see my new one but they had to reschedule and i highly doubt they will let me see a pdoc tomorrow when me and my friend go to. they are strong on beaurocracy on having to get special file from the closest doctors office with things but im going just incase. and i do feel like its gona end with me in hospital due enraged fully blown mania.. i know depression but mania is new to me i dont know how to deal with it yet
i think a very difficult thing to do is accepting that i cant promise everyone that unwell behaviors would never occur again
shandi
 
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by shandi » Tue Nov 28, 2017 7:26 am

and shall add that my tdoc is seriously concerned about me at this point and we are having 3 sessions this week instead of 2 usualy.. she gets that im unreasonable irrational and cant make good judgement calls currently

sort of afraid to go inpatient for mania.. seen my best friend go inpatient for it multiple times its not pretty and way worse then going for depression in my opinion
i think a very difficult thing to do is accepting that i cant promise everyone that unwell behaviors would never occur again
shandi
 
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Joined: Sat Apr 01, 2017 10:37 am

by Duckysmom » Tue Nov 28, 2017 7:32 am

Shandi, does your tdoc have any pull when it comes to getting you into the pdoc? Seeing you 3 times is great, but you need a pdoc appt. You need an adjustment to your meds. If not and you can't be seen by the pdoc, the ER is the way to go.
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by AvantGarde » Tue Nov 28, 2017 7:33 am

Nothing to be scared about, you'll be sedated and the mania will come down, that's about it. Plus, food and bed and showers every day. Sucks a bit when you're manic there because you want to do all these things *right now* and you're confined, but you get used to it. The better you respond to treatment, the faster you'll get out.

I'm telling you to go to the ER because it's better to go voluntary than involuntary for sure. :? For a lot of reasons. The first being that you won't have autonomy or a say in anything if you go involuntary. I don't know how they treat folks with MI in your country, but mostly everywhere they lack serious respect for those of us who "lost it". The second most important reason is that you still have the insight to go look for help, and in a hospital setting that can be both good and bad, good because they know you want to get better and help you out, bad because they might not hospitalize you for not being "sick enough". It's worth the shot though.

Good on you for ditching that pdoc.
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by shandi » Tue Nov 28, 2017 4:34 pm

0_0 sedate me how? pills or injections coz if injections its gona be nasty coz i hate anything that has a needle in it and goes into me
i think a very difficult thing to do is accepting that i cant promise everyone that unwell behaviors would never occur again
shandi
 
Posts: 211
Joined: Sat Apr 01, 2017 10:37 am

by shandi » Tue Nov 28, 2017 6:09 pm

and no ducky's my tdoc isnt supposed to have any pull on that she is not related at all to that specific hospital
i think a very difficult thing to do is accepting that i cant promise everyone that unwell behaviors would never occur again
shandi
 
Posts: 211
Joined: Sat Apr 01, 2017 10:37 am

by AvantGarde » Tue Nov 28, 2017 11:33 pm

I don't know, it depends, can be one or the other or can be both, depending on how you are, I suppose. For me it was both, and they did jack shit.

Go to the ER, shandi, don't jerk around with your mental health.
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by cottontail » Wed Nov 29, 2017 12:04 am

Hi Shandi

Was wondering how you were going? What did you decide to do ... hope you are okay
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by shandi » Wed Nov 29, 2017 12:47 am

i went with my friend and realisee they aint gona let me see a pdoc so likely that tomorrow i will go to the ER
i think a very difficult thing to do is accepting that i cant promise everyone that unwell behaviors would never occur again
shandi
 
Posts: 211
Joined: Sat Apr 01, 2017 10:37 am

by shandi » Wed Nov 29, 2017 12:49 am

hallucinations... scary.. feeling very restless and edgy.. hanging out with my friend distracted me from my situation for a bit but now that i left im feeling bad again
i think a very difficult thing to do is accepting that i cant promise everyone that unwell behaviors would never occur again
shandi
 
Posts: 211
Joined: Sat Apr 01, 2017 10:37 am

by cottontail » Wed Nov 29, 2017 12:50 am

Good luck. In Australia you have to be on the floor before anything happens in ER. I hope it isn't like that where you are.
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by cottontail » Wed Nov 29, 2017 12:53 am

Good luck Shandi! Wishing you well.
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by Jemane » Wed Nov 29, 2017 12:59 am

All the best Shandi. I hope you get to the ED and find the help you need.
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by shandi » Wed Nov 29, 2017 9:11 pm

is it just me or my senses feel like they are 200% like every strong sound and light feel like they are too strong
needs to tell my family what is going on and go get help ASAP
im seriously terrified of all the hallucinations i experience
i think a very difficult thing to do is accepting that i cant promise everyone that unwell behaviors would never occur again
shandi
 
Posts: 211
Joined: Sat Apr 01, 2017 10:37 am

by Jemane » Wed Nov 29, 2017 11:21 pm

Did you go to the emergency Shandi? How did you get on?
You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.
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by shandi » Wed Nov 29, 2017 11:32 pm

still didnt go to emergency i have my psychologist appointment today and im gona notify her about the need for emergency wich will mean our next week's appointments are not gona happen

my social worker said she thinks i should go and said that she and my counsellor will come to see me when they can
i think a very difficult thing to do is accepting that i cant promise everyone that unwell behaviors would never occur again
shandi
 
Posts: 211
Joined: Sat Apr 01, 2017 10:37 am

by Jemane » Wed Nov 29, 2017 11:43 pm

You should totally go to emergency. This is an emergency in the same way that an asthma attack is an emergency in someone with asthma. Please go. You need treatment by a pdoc.
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by AvantGarde » Wed Nov 29, 2017 11:56 pm

I think it's wise to see tdoc first, support there is very important too.

Good luck shandi, you'll see that there's no need to freak out :)

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by shandi » Thu Nov 30, 2017 1:26 am

w'll see i guess.. at this point i dont care if they drug me sedate me pump me full of meds or whatever i just want to get through this
i think a very difficult thing to do is accepting that i cant promise everyone that unwell behaviors would never occur again
shandi
 
Posts: 211
Joined: Sat Apr 01, 2017 10:37 am

by AvantGarde » Thu Nov 30, 2017 1:39 am

I know.. it sucks to be hallucinating.

You're being a champion though, and going through the right steps.

Don't get discouraged though, hospital is the way to go in your situation.
Genetically evolved chicken at your service

My therapist says I don't have crazy eyes

Never surrender your freedom of being to the veridict of those who are strangers to your inner workings
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by shandi » Thu Nov 30, 2017 6:59 am

seen my psychologist. she wanted to take me to ER herself but i decided to head home pack a basic needs bag and go back to the hospital. dont know where they intend to put me but i will find out
i think a very difficult thing to do is accepting that i cant promise everyone that unwell behaviors would never occur again
shandi
 
Posts: 211
Joined: Sat Apr 01, 2017 10:37 am

by AvantGarde » Thu Nov 30, 2017 7:00 am

Good luck shandi! It will be alright :)

Big hug
Genetically evolved chicken at your service

My therapist says I don't have crazy eyes

Never surrender your freedom of being to the veridict of those who are strangers to your inner workings
User avatar
AvantGarde
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Posts: 6581
Joined: Mon Jun 20, 2016 7:01 am

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