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alone for christmas

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by ophelia12 » Mon Nov 27, 2017 2:45 am

I am alone for christmas once again.
even though it's still novemeber, I am struggling... so many people are getting in the christmas spirit and planning their christmas day celebrations- and I'm not.

I knowi t's only 1 day, and if I don't want to, I don't bother with it (and why would I?. I am alone anyway)

but part of me says I have to anyway

even if it means putting up 1 boring decoration on the door, it's something.

is anyone else spending christmas 2017 alone

how do you plan to get through the holidays?
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by AvantGarde » Mon Nov 27, 2017 2:54 am

I think it's really important if you do special things for yourself in those days. Cooking nice meals, opening presents, drinking hot cocoa :) Sometimes being alone is a blessing, my family Christmases always sucked, so it's nice to have small Christmases now.

And I've spent some of them alone, some years I just don't feel like gatherings, people get annoyed because it goes against the crowd, but if you aren't religious and your family basically sucks, Christmas means very little.

Besides, some of us really do need to learn how to handle being alone, BP or no BP.
I actually like it, don't mind at all. The only reason it bothers me to be alone is because I like to provide nice meals :lol: I swear, rest of the time I rather not deal with family dynamics, weird uncles, grumpy grandmas...

One year my grandma didn't even come off of her pajamas and hair rolls :lol: :lol: The fish was dry, the potatoes uncooked, the meat without sauce... You name it. :lol:

Now seriously, it's only a big deal if you make it out to be.
I'll be here most of the time that day, when I'm not cooking. So you can come over that I'll offer some company (we're in the same timezone)
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by ophelia12 » Mon Nov 27, 2017 3:05 am

I hate being alone for christmas.

I don't know why, I like my own company most of the time.

I think it's all to do with the expectation.. christmas is meant to be a time where people get together, christmas is a time where you celebrate with friends, christmas is this, that and the other.
I spend every christmas alone, so I should be used to ittby now.

but i'm not.. don't suppose you ever get used to it.

like your birthday.. I am always alone on my birthday, and that you can never get used to either
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by ophelia12 » Mon Nov 27, 2017 3:07 am

as for the whole religion thing, I do know the christmas story. we did it at school

but I don't read that much in to it
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by AvantGarde » Mon Nov 27, 2017 3:11 am

I understand... There isn't anything you can do to feel more fulfilled? Like volunteer at a shelter for example. Giving food to the homeless, that kind of thing?

You could make a habit out of it.. Might make you feel better.
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by ophelia12 » Mon Nov 27, 2017 6:45 am

I don't know.

maybe.

someone on another site suggested that I could look for comunity events in my area- people that meet up for christmas dinner, and maybe exchange small gifts.

but where I am is quite remote, so...
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by Mocha » Mon Nov 27, 2017 10:06 am

hey ophelia....

I always spend the holidays alone.....have for years, just not a big deal for me.

I agree with AG.....you can do something nice for yourself. For years, I did put up a tree.....which is strange because we celebrate Hanakkuh....:lol:.....I just liked how it looked. Now I'm too damn lazy, and the lights are a pain in the ass. But yes, decorate all you want, put that wreath on the door or whatever else you would like. If it makes you happy, go for it....... :)

Wear a special outfit, plan a special meal.....it's ok even if you're alone. Watch your favorite xmas movies...not the sad ones though. And treat yourself to something you've been wanting.

My friends and I had another tradition every year. I know you said you aren't religious, neither were we, and certainly had no connection to the Catholic church, but every year we went to midnite mass. You certainly don't have to be Catholic, and no one will try to convert you.... ;) We looked forward to it every year, and I still go by myself. For sure I'm not the only non-believer there.......it's just a nice tradition we created for ourselves.


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by AvantGarde » Mon Nov 27, 2017 10:12 am

Hijacking a bit, but not completely off topic... I used to go to a huge church near an apartment I lived in, just to watch the mass and the vitrals with candle light. Rituals are usually very peaceful, weather you believe in them or not :) Makes us feel better, for some reason I can't really explain fully, except I think it plays with that part of us that wants to be spiritually connected with others, and religious rituals are intended for that purpose :)
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by Mocha » Mon Nov 27, 2017 10:19 am

I hear ya AG.....

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by ophelia12 » Tue Nov 28, 2017 3:08 am

isn't Hanakkuh the festival of light?

i'm probably way off, but I'm 90 percent sure it probably is
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by Mom2dani » Tue Nov 28, 2017 4:43 am

Christmas Day and the day after my daughter will be with me but it’s Christmas Eve I will be alone. That was my favorite because it was the 3 of us. We would wear our Christmas pjs, open stockings and swear ok open only one present, which usually turned into more. It was our little tradition. And I will be alone and that will suck and I know I will cry.

Now she is spending Christmas Eve with her dad and that tradition is out the door.

I love the idea of going to mass. I’m not catholic but I know there is a midnight mass as I’ve gone a few times with friends. Maybe I will see if I can go with my good friend and her family.

I wish I had gone to the divorce support group to learn how to cope with the holidays. They were already in their 11session, I want to start from the beginning.

Sorry to hijack but I get it. I’m happy to,have found the idea though to go to a mass or other church event.
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by Mocha » Tue Nov 28, 2017 9:39 pm

ophelia12 wrote:isn't Hanakkuh the festival of light?

i'm probably way off, but I'm 90 percent sure it probably is

Yep, it's also called the Festival of Lights........ :)


Mom... calling your friends will be a good idea.

We always had brandy eggnog before mass......yummy....now I just have regular eggnog...... ;)


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by cottontail » Wed Nov 29, 2017 12:47 am

Alone for Christmas is a great time to spoil yourself! Home facials etc. make sure you buy youself a special bubble bath to soak away in with a nice drink or two. Watch your favourite movies, eat all your favourite food etc. the best thing is that you are not answerable to anyone. You can do your own thing. Just be prepared for the day and have a wonderful Christmas. :D
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by ophelia12 » Wed Nov 29, 2017 1:06 am

pretty cool, Mocha.

and here's me not paying any attention to religious education in school.

well.. I guess I must have left with something- probably more than I realise
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