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by snowkiss » Fri Sep 08, 2017 6:59 am

Hi there, I have been researching and learning. I can not tell you all on here how thankful I am that you share your life experiences so bravely, I can not thank you enough for doing so, as it has given me so much relief to know that what I experience is not 'just me', even though I wish none of us experienced the highs and lows of this illness.

I have been diagnosed as 'major depression and anxiety' since 2002. I have been on and off prozac through these years, going off the med when I felt better...only to get back on it again. Summer of 2015 I began effexor along with Prozac.

November 2017, my sister passed away from breast cancer and I stopped taking my meds. I had no idea what a manic episode was but I believe I was in one for 8 months. I have always been an introvert and not assertive, but From Dec 2016 through the end of July 2017 I was a different person. I made a ton of horrible choices...worked 3 jobs, slept 5 or less hours a night, had more energy than I ever have, was bold and assertive and handles negative events with ease, etc. Not a care in the world and I honestly felt invincible. Such an incredible feeling. But I made a lot of immoral choices for which I feel guilt. I divorced my husband on a whim, refusing to go to counseling with him. I made plans to move to another state where my kids live, and to go back to college to get a 'real' job. I am 47 years old.

Well, my jobs ended because I was registered for school, then I began to crash so I withdrew from school before it started. My (ex) husband took me back in and I hope we can fix things, it looks hopeful. I asked the doc if he thought I was bi polar due to the manic state and he still thinks I just have depression/anxiety. He started me on effexor, abilify and seroquil. I have worked as a nanny but can't even begin to look at the website to try to get a job. I am believing that the meds will kick in and I will be staying on them, thanks to what I am reading here from all of you.

So much more but the guilt and regrets from things my whole life are hard to live with. I have gone to tdocs but it is hard to find one who is helpful, and hard to keep looking while down. I also need to see if there are any super low cost ones as I am not working right now.

Thank you for being here, I can't tell you how much this group has encouraged me already! I thank each one of you on here!!!
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by AvantGarde » Fri Sep 08, 2017 7:03 am

Hi snowkiss, welcome :) Have you thought about asking a second opinion from another pdoc? Some are reluctant to diagnose severe mental illnesses, others are too eager, others are moderate :lol:

Glad you found us and we were able to help :)
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by Spm24 » Fri Sep 08, 2017 7:23 am

snowkiss,

Welcome to the forum. As you have undoubtedly seen we have many caring and compassionate people here.

As AG suggested maybe get a second opinion from another pdoc.

You are correct it is not always easy to find a tdoc that you feel comfortable with.
Snowflakes gently floating from the sky just dusting the ground. Then it picks up bigger fatter flakes cascading from space at a faster rate. From a dusting to a trace. Then the deluge comes. Oh what joy. Watching everything slow to a crawl, then a stop. Step outside and even with things moving it is quiet. It is a giant muffler the earth is wearing. Causing everything to be muted.To be calm.
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by Stuckles » Fri Sep 08, 2017 9:29 am

Hi Snowkiss and welcome :)

I was diagnosed with major depression since my teens so all too familiar with our lil friends Prozac and the like. It was only in my late twenties that they changed it to Bipolar II.

There's so many overlaps between conditions that it's easy at times to miss. I agree with seeking a second opinion as they may see something the other have missed. Always good to get a fresh set of eyes on a problem ;)
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by Mocha » Fri Sep 08, 2017 5:11 pm

Hi and welcome, snowkiss......

We're glad to have you here........and we all have our stories, so no judgements from any of us....... :)

Re: tdocs: I won't sign on with one until I know we're going to click. I also research their background, see what types of therapy/ies they practice. Always make sure they work with bipolar clients and whatever else you're dealing with.

Would you prefer a woman or a man? Younger or older?

And see if they work on a sliding scale fee especially if money is an issue. Some do.

And I use that first appt to interview 'them'. If I don't think we'll click I don't go back.

So....don't know if that helped any now, but maybe later when you are able to look for a new tdoc...... :)
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The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.

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by Pancake » Fri Sep 08, 2017 7:38 pm

Welcome (:
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by hal » Fri Sep 08, 2017 7:52 pm

So glad to see you here, snowkiss. Welcome!
. . . all times I have enjoyed
Greatly, have suffered greatly, both with those
That loved me, and alone.
-- Tennyson
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by snowkiss » Mon Sep 11, 2017 3:46 am

thank you all for the warm welcome :) I will seek out a second opinion, good idea! And thank you about the tdocs, I like to idea of the first visit ...interviewing them!

xo
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