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by LoversRock » Wed Sep 06, 2017 2:30 pm

Hello! Well, this is my history...
I went to see a psychiatrist, because I was starting to feel really depressed...I never imagined it could be this. And here I am, trying to understand what happens in my brain and how it affects my life. I accept it and I feel fine with it.
My family are giving me a lot of support. But sometimes it can be hard for them too. I´m an adult and I´m more responsable than ever of my own wellbeing. Now I know why I made such poor decisions in the past, because my life is full of nonsense decisions.
So... September 2017... this is my life now. I´m tired of all this emotional rollercoaster but at the same time I feel a huge relief. I´m alive and I really want to live. If I could survive all these years without a clue of why I felt that way (and it was a lot of suffering), I think I can do it better now.
I´m learning a lot of things about this and myself...That´s because I´m here, to keep learning and helping if it´s possible...
Thanks for reading!
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by Pancake » Wed Sep 06, 2017 2:44 pm

Hi loversrock
Are you saying you just got diagnosed?

Welcome to club crazy (;
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by Stuckles » Wed Sep 06, 2017 2:55 pm

Hi Loversrock, Welcome!

There is definately a huge sense of relief that comes with a diagnosis, despite everything else that comes with it. I've had two diagnosis that has explained a whole lot about my life up until my late twenties. It's opened my family's eyes to a lot too though they'll never completely understand, but that's how it goes :P

Nonsense decisions, I can relate to that :lol:
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by MochaAdmin » Wed Sep 06, 2017 3:03 pm

Welcome Loversrock!

Like you I felt relief when I got my dx.....and like you I made a lot of 'nonsense decisions'....understatement...... :twisted:

Please make yourself at home......... :)

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by LoversRock » Wed Sep 06, 2017 3:19 pm

Thanks to all! Yes, I´m recently diagnosed! But I accepted it easily. I guess it really fits me haha.. But I know this is not only take pills and going to see the doctor. I have to make my own effort. I´ve been thinking some strategies about food, sleep and getting to know the possible triggers and trying to differenciate my emotions (that´s really hard!). I think it´s just a matter of trial and effort.
English is not my first language so if I wrote some weird expressions, let me know please haha :)
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by Stuckles » Wed Sep 06, 2017 3:31 pm

:shock: Quite the opposite, I wouldn't have known until you told us :)
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by MochaAdmin » Wed Sep 06, 2017 3:38 pm

LoversRock wrote:But I know this is not only take pills and going to see the doctor. I have to make my own effort. I´ve been thinking some strategies about food, sleep and getting to know the possible triggers and trying to differenciate my emotions (that´s really hard!). I think it´s just a matter of trial and effort.

Are you in therapy LR? It really helps.

English is not my first language so if I wrote some weird expressions, let me know please haha :)


I would have never known either......Your english is probably better than mine.....lol

Here's a thread you might like to read.

language proficiency


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by Spm24 » Wed Sep 06, 2017 3:39 pm

LoversRock,

Welcome to the forum. You will find many caring and compassionate people here.

Your recently diagnosed, have you seen a tdoc(therapist)? Are you on any meds yet?

Finding out the diagnosis is always a relief. It is good that you are handling it well.

Your English is good... No need to worry on that front..
Snowflakes gently floating from the sky just dusting the ground. Then it picks up bigger fatter flakes cascading from space at a faster rate. From a dusting to a trace. Then the deluge comes. Oh what joy. Watching everything slow to a crawl, then a stop. Step outside and even with things moving it is quiet. It is a giant muffler the earth is wearing. Causing everything to be muted.To be calm.
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by hal » Wed Sep 06, 2017 4:16 pm

Hi LoversRock, I'm glad you're here. Welcome!

Like many of us here, I was at first diagnosed with depression, and it was a relief to get the BP diagnosis, because it explained so much. Also, as with others, I found that antidepressants could push me up into mania. Not a good thing.

Your English is fine, don't worry about it. Why don't you go find the "language proficiency" thread and tell us about what other languages you know?
. . . all times I have enjoyed
Greatly, have suffered greatly, both with those
That loved me, and alone.
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by LoversRock » Wed Sep 06, 2017 6:00 pm

Thanks for the comments about my English :)
I´m taking Lamictal. The first week I slept a lot. I don´t feel another side effect. The rest is fine. It is helping me a lot.
I´m considering going to a therapist, because I really need to make my life a little more stable. I always had the good will to do it, now I know it has biological causes -but with social consequences!- I don´t want to be rich or succesfull; I just want a more or less stable life and get better reactions to stressfull situations.
Knowing the causes was a huge relief, a point to start, but at the end it´s just a clinical name to me. I think all this is a really normal illness, the problem is the lack of information and the stigma behind. A lot of people don´t want to say to their doctors how they really feel and sometimes the emotions are so messy to explain. And sometimes the doctors doesn´t know how to recognice the symtoms. They say "anxiety", "depression", "it´s just a moment", etc. But they´re humans; they make mistakes too.
The illness has a big spectrum and there´s so much to discover yet. That´s homework to the scientifics. I prefer to put the focus in how I feel day by day, trying to get better, knowing my limitations of course. I´m not gonna be ok one day from another. At the same time, I don´t want to become obssesed: "oh, this must be hypomania or mania", "this is depression". If I can learn the triggers and the early symtoms, I know I can prevent the episodes or at least make them less big.
I lost almost ten years of my life without knowing anything. Now it´s my turn to see what I can do with that knowledge. ;)
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by LoversRock » Wed Sep 06, 2017 7:35 pm

Sorry, I´ve reading again what I wrote...
When I say "I think all this is a really normal illness", I was not trying to say is easy or minimize the things. But I firmly believe it´s possible to have a normal life with the proper treatment.
In my case I accepted it, but living with the symptoms without knowing the real reason behind was not easy is for me at least.
Anyway, I´m a newbie in all this. My apologies if my expression could sounded disrespectful.
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by Pancake » Wed Sep 06, 2017 9:48 pm

Nah, you're good. Context was clear.

Therapy is a great idea. I would say it's impossible to work it all out on your own, and therapists have some great tools to help. At least, the only coping mechanisms I ever developed on my own were bad ones (;
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by AvantGarde » Wed Sep 06, 2017 10:10 pm

No need to apologize, I think we all feel the same way. :)

Welcome from me too. :D
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by MochaAdmin » Wed Sep 06, 2017 10:22 pm

LoversRock wrote:If I can learn the triggers and the early symtoms, I know I can prevent the episodes or at least make them less big.

exactly.......and about therapy. That's where you can learn those coping skills and how to recognize those triggers.

And like Pan and AG said.....you don't have to apologize for anything....we know what you meant..... ;)

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by LoversRock » Thu Sep 07, 2017 9:25 am

This morning I decided to search a good therapist. I know it´s necessary because I need to learn the triggers and symtoms. I can´t do everything by my own.
Thanks to all for the kind advices. It really helps. ;)
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by Stuckles » Thu Sep 07, 2017 9:29 am

That's great :) Good luck ;)
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by Duckysmom » Thu Sep 07, 2017 11:44 am

Welcome, and good luck with the therapist search. I hope you find one that works well with you.
"Do not pray for an easy life, pray for the strength to endure a difficult one."
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