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by Hermione94 » Mon Sep 04, 2017 11:36 am

Hi I'm Hermione( on here).

I am 23 year old female, I was diagnosed with Bipolar 1 at age 16 after my first manic episode. My full diagnosis is now Bipolar 1 with recurring episodes of psychosis. One doc at a hospital wanted to diagnose me as schizo affective, but my personal psychiatrist whom I trust much more decided to keep me as diagnosed Bipolar 1 and add psychosis as part of the diagnosis. I also suffer from some anxiety and derealization. I joined the forum in hopes of having a nice safe space to share my experiences, ask questions, and learn from others.

I'll give a simple version of where I'm at now. I recently came out of a long depression that spanned about 9 months. I have yet to become manic despite being off all meds except .5 mg of clonazapam once a day, though I don't always need to take it. I also take a supplement called Rest EZ for sleep along with straight melatonin. Its actually probably the best solution I've found found thus far. Ive worked very hard in the past two months to change my health habits and take care of myself. I quit all substances (cigarettes included) and limit myself to one to 3 drinks on special occasions only. I joined a gym and started a yoga practice. I really am putting effort into changing my negative beliefs and habits through developing a mindful awareness. And I'm learning to relax my mind slowly, become more present and in my body.

I'm going to do another post specifically asking about what meds people might recommend because I have an upcoming appointment. The main symptom I'm dealing with right now is obsessive thinking. Despite making huge progress, I still constantly narrate and judge my everyday life and obsess or ruminate on every little thought. Its not a psychotic or manic type of thinking pattern, my thoughts aren't racing and there haven't been any delusions. Its more like I feel obligated to entertain thoughts as far as I can, its very hard to just let them go although I'm learning. Its basically, no it is, an addiction for me.

I'd love feedback from you guys and to meet some of you! I'm going to do a post for medication/ recommendations along with any natural aids people have found. Im working on finding a reputable CBD expert near me soon. And id love to eventually share my history and episodes but in time of course.
Hermione
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by Stuckles » Mon Sep 04, 2017 12:31 pm

Hi Hermione,

Welcome! Your sure to find people here with similar experiences. I too struggle a lot with these kinds of thoughts though I have learned, to an extent, to manage them so they don't get out of hand (not that it's always possible :P). They still do pop up despite medication and everything else and I know how frustrating it is to get them to stop once they start.

I take it your medication situation is your PDoc's recommendation?

P.S. We can't really advise on which medication's will help you as were not medical professionals, though we can share our experiences with certain medications they tend to have different effects on different people.
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by Spm24 » Mon Sep 04, 2017 1:13 pm

Hermonir,

Welcome to the forum. You will find many caring and compassionate people here.
Snowflakes gently floating from the sky just dusting the ground. Then it picks up bigger fatter flakes cascading from space at a faster rate. From a dusting to a trace. Then the deluge comes. Oh what joy. Watching everything slow to a crawl, then a stop. Step outside and even with things moving it is quiet. It is a giant muffler the earth is wearing. Causing everything to be muted.To be calm.
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by hal » Mon Sep 04, 2017 2:05 pm

Hi Hermione, and welcome to BPS. You say, "I joined the forum in hopes of having a nice safe space to share my experiences, ask questions, and learn from others." That's exactly the right motivation! Welcome again.
. . . all times I have enjoyed
Greatly, have suffered greatly, both with those
That loved me, and alone.
-- Tennyson
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by Duckysmom » Mon Sep 04, 2017 4:14 pm

Welcome to BPS. I hope you'll make yourself at home here.
"Do not pray for an easy life, pray for the strength to endure a difficult one."
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by AvantGarde » Mon Sep 04, 2017 10:32 pm

Welcome :)
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