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I'm deeply sorry........lol

Heard Something Funny??

by Mocha » Tue Feb 02, 2016 4:51 am

Image


Well, jeeze, doc.....you just told me something I already knew.... :roll: ....

Crazy As Fuck and Proud..........that's me for sure.......:lol:


Not A Professional of Any Kind ~ Just Your Garden Variety Nutjob

The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.

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by Mocha » Thu Feb 04, 2016 11:00 am

well ok.......I guess I'm the only one with that dark twisted sense of humour BPS is known for...... :lol:

Wait....where's clare? I know she can have that same dark sense of humour too...... :twisted:


Not A Professional of Any Kind ~ Just Your Garden Variety Nutjob

The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.

~Martin Luther King~
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by Pancake » Fri Feb 05, 2016 7:17 pm

Nah, my internet just crashed on me *again* and got tossed In the naughty corner.

My gaming ID is generally a variation of 'imp the sane' for so many reasons :)
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by SoreBrain » Thu Jun 16, 2016 6:26 pm

:lol:
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by SoreBrain » Thu Jun 16, 2016 6:27 pm

:lol: I love this kind of humor. I'm still slowly but surely trying to catch up on everything :-)
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by hal » Thu Jun 16, 2016 8:08 pm

SoreBrain wrote::lol: I love this kind of humor. I'm still slowly but surely trying to catch up on everything :-)

Me too. More!
. . . all times I have enjoyed
Greatly, have suffered greatly, both with those
That loved me, and alone.
-- Tennyson
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by Mocha » Thu Jun 16, 2016 8:47 pm

SoreBrain wrote: :lol: I love this kind of humor. I'm still slowly but surely trying to catch up on everything :-)


Oh you're going to fit in just fine, SB....lol......We love our sick dark twisted sense of humour around here.....You can join our twisted sisters club.... :twisted:

Here's one for you and hal.......one of my favorites......:lol:...


.Image...


Not A Professional of Any Kind ~ Just Your Garden Variety Nutjob

The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.

~Martin Luther King~
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by Polrus » Thu Jun 16, 2016 10:32 pm

Love it :D

I've got one but I don't know how to post pictures.

Help the funny get out!
Stars, hide your fires; Let not light see my black and deep desires.

Macbeth
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by BillyGoat » Fri Jun 17, 2016 12:31 am

Polrus wrote:Love it :D

I've got one but I don't know how to post pictures.

Help the funny get out!


It's pretty easy,, Pol. Just hit the Post Reply button, then draw the picture on your screen with a felt tipped pen. If you make a mistake, wipe it off with some sandpaper dipped in a little molasses.
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by Mocha » Fri Jun 17, 2016 2:53 am

BillyGoat wrote:
Polrus wrote:Love it :D

I've got one but I don't know how to post pictures.

Help the funny get out!


It's pretty easy,, Pol. Just hit the Post Reply button, then draw the picture on your screen with a felt tipped pen. If you make a mistake, wipe it off with some sandpaper dipped in a little molasses.

:lol: :lol:

Pol......If you look below the Preview and Submit buttons, you'll see 'Upload Attachment'. But sometimes that doesn't always work.

I use:
Photobucket.com

You can upload your pics/images/videos whatever, and edit them if you need to. Then you can get the link to post in the forums. It's free to register.
I've been using it for years to post things in the forums and my sig line.




Not A Professional of Any Kind ~ Just Your Garden Variety Nutjob

The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.

~Martin Luther King~
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by hal » Fri Jun 17, 2016 6:51 am

All you have to do is right click on the image you want to upload. Then look for "copy image location."

Then get into this edit box and look at the blue row of options above. Click on IMG and you will get [img]xxx[/img] (without the xxx). Just paste the image location you just copied where I show the xxx.

Anything enclosed in [ ] brackets is called an HTML elements, and if a valid image location is inserted the picture will be displayed.
. . . all times I have enjoyed
Greatly, have suffered greatly, both with those
That loved me, and alone.
-- Tennyson
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by hal » Fri Jun 17, 2016 6:55 am

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. . . all times I have enjoyed
Greatly, have suffered greatly, both with those
That loved me, and alone.
-- Tennyson
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by Polrus » Fri Jun 17, 2016 10:55 am

I like BG's way (lol) but I'm having trouble drawing over the sandpapered bits. Thanks for the help everyone.
Stars, hide your fires; Let not light see my black and deep desires.

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by Mocha » Fri Jun 17, 2016 11:04 am

Polrus wrote:I like BG's way (lol) but I'm having trouble drawing over the sandpapered bits. Thanks for the help everyone.

:)
Not A Professional of Any Kind ~ Just Your Garden Variety Nutjob

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~Martin Luther King~
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by Polrus » Fri Jun 17, 2016 11:26 pm

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Stars, hide your fires; Let not light see my black and deep desires.

Macbeth
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by hal » Sat Jun 18, 2016 5:47 am

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. . . all times I have enjoyed
Greatly, have suffered greatly, both with those
That loved me, and alone.
-- Tennyson
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by SoreBrain » Sat Jun 18, 2016 11:07 am

hal wrote:Image



My life in a nutshell.
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by cincidak » Sat Jun 18, 2016 4:54 pm

Top-30-Funny-Cat-Memes-humor.jpg
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by Lisa » Thu Aug 04, 2016 6:54 am

Image

Or at least that is the plan XD
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by hal » Thu Aug 04, 2016 7:43 am

1-800-PSYCHE

Hello, Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline.

    If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.
    If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.
    If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
    If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace the call.
    If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
    If you are depressed, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer.
. . . all times I have enjoyed
Greatly, have suffered greatly, both with those
That loved me, and alone.
-- Tennyson
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by Jaivi » Thu Aug 04, 2016 1:46 pm

LOL, having a fucking terrible day and these made me crack up (Polrus your last one in particular HAHAHAH)
Enduring in the faith in my dreams and hopes: got to keep laughing :)
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by mom6 » Sat Aug 06, 2016 1:37 pm

Wtf hal?! I am so leaving that on my answering machine. Yes, i still have one of those. Quit laughing. :lol: :lol:
Turn your face toward the sun and the shadows fall behind you-Walt Whitman (mostly)
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by hal » Sun Aug 07, 2016 9:52 am

You have an ANSWERING MACHINE, mom6? Excellent. Here are a few more alternatives

    WE ARE BORG. RESISTANCE IS FUTILE. YOU WILL BE ASSIMILATED. But we're not home right now. So leave a message at the tone, and we'll assimilate you later.

    Please leave a message. However, you have the right to remain silent. Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us.

    'Ello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Leave your name and number, and prepare to die.

    Greetings, you have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know who you are and what you want, so at the sound of the tone, please hang up.

    I can't come to the phone now because alien beings are eating my brain. Leave a message anyway, and after the alien beings assume my shape, one of them will get back to you.

    I can't come to the phone now because I have amnesia and I feel stupid talking to people I don't remember. I'd appreciate it if you could help me out by leaving my name and telling me something about myself. Thanks.

    Lucifer speaking. Who in hell do you want?

    I can't come to the phone now, so if, well, actually, I CAN come to the phone now, I mean, like, I'm at the phone NOW, recording this message, but I'm doing this NOW, while you're listening to it LATER, except for you I guess it's NOW, like, when you're listening to it... I mean, like, wait, gosh. This is so confusing.

    The number you have reached, 226-0477, has been changed. The new number is 226-0477. Please make a note of it.

    You have reached the CPX-2000 Voice Blackmail System. Your voice patterns are now being digitally encoded and stored for later use. Once this is done, our computers will be able to use the sound of YOUR voice for literally thousands of illegal and immoral purposes. There is no charge for this initial consultation. However our staff of professional extortionists will contact you in the near future to further explain the benefits of our service, and to arrange for your schedule of payment. Remember to speak clearly at the sound of the tone. Thank you.

    You have reached the number you have dialed. Please leave a message after the beep.

    Hello, this is Sid. I've got a puppy in one hand and a Smith & Wesson .38 in the other. Leave a message or the puppy gets it.

    My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished.

    Hi. This is John. If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money.

    (Narrator's voice:) There Dale sits, reading a magazine. Suddenly the telephone rings! The bathroom explodes into a veritable maelstrom of toilet paper, with Dale in the middle of it, his arms windmilling at incredible speeds! Will he make it in time? Alas no, his valiant effort is in vain. The bell hath sounded. Thou must leave a message.

    Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.
. . . all times I have enjoyed
Greatly, have suffered greatly, both with those
That loved me, and alone.
-- Tennyson
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by Lisa » Sun Aug 07, 2016 11:55 am

hal wrote:1-800-PSYCHE

Hello, Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline.

    If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.
    If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.
    If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
    If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace the call.
    If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
    If you are depressed, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer.


My favorite by far :lol:
The strongest trees grow with the wind against them.
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by Pancake » Sun Aug 07, 2016 12:44 pm

:lol: :lol: :lol:
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