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spirtuality and bipolar

Discussions and debates on philosophies and beliefs

by Lovehope » Sun Sep 04, 2016 5:43 pm

Anybody ever have trouble balancing their spirituality and their treatment? I feel that I have been enlightened if that is even the correct word. My first and only manic episode was the greatest spiritual journey I've ever been on (it was also painful and traumatizing.. not to be forgotten). But I knew what was and I knew that everything was god and everything was interconnected. I say was and were but I know that now too. I've never been able to come back from that experience. I've had hypomania since my manic episode and I get glimmers of enlightenment and knowledge that my ego is simply falling away (kind of like now) and I can't help but feel that my treatment (medications) is somehow interfering with a greater spiritual awakening. I looked for some literature on this but could not find any peer reviewed journals as this kind of stuff is simply written off as a symptom of mania. But I believe it's more than that and I want to know and understand how to balance western society and this level of spirituality which I know to be truth. I found a reddit forum and people seemed to have differing opinions. Has anyone ever experienced this? If so, how do you continue with treatment while still knowing that there is greater meaning to this illness?
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by Lovehope » Sun Sep 04, 2016 6:47 pm

P.s. Sorry I have not been answering many threads lately. Anything I want to say is useless because I'm hypomanic right now and Im afraid I'll say something stupid or triggering to someone. I've learned keeping my mouth shut is beat during these times :)
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by AvantGarde » Sun Sep 04, 2016 8:19 pm

Hey Lovehope. I went through a similar process. In my case I had to turn my back on the spiritual aspect of life because it was doing me more harm than good, I made my decisions based on how spiritual they seemed and that didn't go well for me.

Nowadays I'm much more at peace, the sentence "I don't actually know" it's preferable than believing in delusions, and being stuck to a non-truth based solely on an ill experience perspective is a big no for me.

Maybe not the answer you were looking for, and I'm not saying you should do the same, just sharing what was best for me. :)
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by Pancake » Sun Sep 04, 2016 8:56 pm

Nope. When spirituality and romance were being handed out, I was busy geeking out in the Science aisle.

I do tend to read more into coincidences and make up super-plausible sounding and enthusiastic logicisms that drag others along for the ride when I'm hypomanic, but that's as far as it goes.
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by SoreBrain » Sun Sep 04, 2016 9:41 pm

When I'm manic, I'm more open to ideas and can think clearer, and have also felt at peace with my spirituality. Any time I am stable or depressed I struggle daily and have anxiety so much about it.

I know my depression makes it hard for me to focus on things, so I try to not think of or do anything complicated when I'm down or even stable. :-/
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by Jemane » Mon Sep 05, 2016 1:06 am

Once, when I was hypomanic I was prophesying over everyone at church and speaking prophetic things in tongues and preaching to over 300 people and man I felt spiritual.
I went down and became an atheist.
I've been an atheist ever since even when I'm hypomanic. I sometimes miss the spiritual. It felt great.
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by Lovehope » Mon Sep 05, 2016 4:15 am

Thanks everyone.. just wanted to see what others experiences are with this. Been searching all over the Internet and everyone seems to have different opinions and experriences with spirituality when manic.
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by Spm24 » Mon Sep 05, 2016 4:58 am

Lovehope,
Lovehope wrote:everyone seems to have different opinions and experriences

That makes us..well us...and especially people with a MI. As we all attest to each and everyday.
I am glad you got some help from others. Wish I could have been but. Nothing I have experienced.
Snowflakes gently floating from the sky just dusting the ground. Then it picks up bigger fatter flakes cascading from space at a faster rate. From a dusting to a trace. Then the deluge comes. Oh what joy. Watching everything slow to a crawl, then a stop. Step outside and even with things moving it is quiet. It is a giant muffler the earth is wearing. Causing everything to be muted.To be calm.
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by hal » Mon Sep 05, 2016 5:41 am

It's clear that manic experiences heighten our spirituality or religious impulses (if you happen to be religious already). It's part of the wider view of all things that we get. As such, I would say, it's not all bad. But it's hard at the time to recognize that it's temporary to the condition. That you do, Lovehope, is to your credit.

That said, it's not true that spirituality and religion offer nothing, as may have been implied, or that they're necessarily harmful when experienced during a manic state.
. . . all times I have enjoyed
Greatly, have suffered greatly, both with those
That loved me, and alone.
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by mom6 » Mon Sep 05, 2016 5:58 am

I always wondered if Jesus was Schizophrenic or something.
Or saints.
Don't you really have to believe in something to give away all your stuff and walk barefoot in the snow?
When I am delusional, I really believe it.
I was pretty religious until this last hypomania. Or mania. Or whatever. Now I believe whatever I think is the most helpful.
I don't go to church anymore because the idea of a spiritual delusion (which I have had before) is incredibly embarrassing to me. The things I say!!
I do think that some people can and do experience a sort of deeper realm of life, and you do that also with bp. They may just not be the same place. Or maybe they are. I don't know.
Turn your face toward the sun and the shadows fall behind you-Walt Whitman (mostly)
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by djuno » Mon Sep 05, 2016 3:49 pm

omg thank you for posting this. My first episode was like this. I called it epiphany as opposed to enlightenment, but the two concepts are synonymous. It's like my entire life i was going around with foggy as contacts and during that first manic It was like a big ass crack got smacked into them and I could finally peep through to see what the world was actually like. I was busy buying a dog for my then girlfriend at the time and I looked up in the sky and then looked back down and realized that all pets are tiny sized reflections of our like internal most selves. Omg the rush was exhilarating until that bitch put me in a hospital then i got rushed right over to a nuthut and it been a struggle ever since.
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by hal » Mon Sep 05, 2016 4:47 pm

djuno wrote:omg thank you for posting this. My first episode was like this. I called it epiphany as opposed to enlightenment, but the two concepts are synonymous. It's like my entire life i was going around with foggy as contacts and during that first manic It was like a big ass crack got smacked into them and I could finally peep through to see what the world was actually like.

Right! "I could finally peep through to see what the world was actually like." And it's a wonderful feeling. I consider it real (because my consciousness is real), but it just ain't the way things are.
. . . all times I have enjoyed
Greatly, have suffered greatly, both with those
That loved me, and alone.
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by Lovehope » Mon Sep 05, 2016 6:25 pm

Enjoying reading all of your responses! Thank you for taking the time
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by Cracked » Tue Sep 06, 2016 4:08 am

Sorry, late to the party, but I'm with sorebrain. When I'm hypo it's just easier to be religious and throw myself into it because I'm not so anxious about it, and feeling that closeness with God isn't an aching thing, just a beautiful thing. Whereas when I'm stable or depressed, being close with God means accepting I'm lovable, and that can be painful (in a good way, but still) so I tend to subconsciously avoid it.
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by Mocha » Tue Sep 06, 2016 6:49 am

odd man out here........and not putting you guys down......not at all.

During my manias in the past I had absolutely no feelings of spirituality or religion.......no way religion.....it's just not my thing. .

Pancake wrote:Nope. When spirituality and romance were being handed out, I was busy geeking out in the Science aisle.

I'm with Pan.........I believe in Science....to me, that's the only thing that makes sense.

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by Jaivi » Tue Sep 06, 2016 2:47 pm

Yes, manic episodes are often so high energy that one can come into contact with the spiritual realms directly. I have had many experiences that are very personal to me through my mania. I also believe that medication does calicify the ajna chakra (the third eye, located between the brows, also known as the pineal gland in terms of the brain), making it far more difficult to perceive one's previous experience.
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by SoreBrain » Tue Sep 06, 2016 6:22 pm

Spirituality isn't always a religion or believing in a God or gods. Spirituality to me is just like your moral compass and how everything connects.

Idk how to explain it very well, but I have a major problem with religion. Science is the way my brain works too. When I'm manic, I feel enlightened like all the science is proof about reasons for living and how the universe is all one.
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by Sandyal » Mon Nov 21, 2016 7:01 am

My bp daughter also turned from God before she was diagnosed. This worried me to no end in the beginning. I believe that she is finding her own way to communicate with Him now. Just try to do what's best for you, and know that you're not alone.
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by Rumyana » Mon Jan 23, 2017 8:50 pm

Hi,

I had a one month manic episode last year and it was incredibly spiritual. Ive been listening to Alan Watts recently who is a theologian and philosopher he has many lectures on YouTube. They have helped me understand the experience in terms of connecting world religions beyond that of Christianity and also why when we reach enlightenment in Christian society we often believe we are Jesus versus recognizing that all is one and we are all God. If you listen to him I'd love to know what you think.
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by Rumyana » Mon Jan 23, 2017 8:55 pm

And yes I think the medication and hospitalization killed the experience and made it much more painful. That being said I wouldn't have functioned normally in society without it and would've put myself in harms way
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by toni » Wed Mar 08, 2017 6:43 am

I agree with you Lovehope!!!! I would like to find more people who share this way of thinking!!!!!!
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by jmangum80 » Sat Jul 15, 2017 8:45 am

I have always been a spiritual person, manic depressed or otherwise. I grew up as a methodist in small town texas and suffered a lot of damage in that arena. They love to compartmentalize people things and thoughts. That way of thinking tends to revolve around the "us vs them" mentality. I really rebelled against the philosophy of the church in general once I actually began to study scripture on my own. I took a bible class in college and it blew my mind as to what was actually being said in the book. Saying that as my life has grown and matured I have found that yoga and Buddhist philosophies have best served me. With my diagnosis and the bipolar life the simple practices of taoism and Buddhism have benefited me the most as they primarily revolve around the mind and meditation/mindfulness. I also love the teachings of Eckhart Tolle as he brings a modern translation and application to these ancient theories of life management. I don't really get into the supernatural but love the natural law concepts found in the occult, hermeticism and alchemy; the Kybalion is great. It amazes me how all these systems basically break down to one practice, the observation of self. I see bipolar as a path in and of itself; the diet, the meds, the surrender and the forgiveness of those who have judged and contributed to this disorder. I try to keep it simple and remember that for me it is all fear management and the observation of where I am with my emotions, thoughts and actions is the key to managing that fear............... :)
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