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by crazymama30 » Tue May 02, 2017 6:52 pm

So ever since I told my daughter she has to be out June 1st, she has completely changed her tune. I figured she would get worse behavior wise, but really? She has gotten so much better. I think she is trying to manipulate me into letting her stay, so I just have to stay the course. But it really throws me off. She is still gone for days on end, and when she comes home she sleeps for almost a full day. Pretty sure she was partying it up those days she is gone and then comes home and crashes.

It would be easier to do this if she would just be awful like she always has been in the past. I just feel guilty now.
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by Spm24 » Tue May 02, 2017 7:06 pm

crazymama30,

Stick to your guns. It will not be easy. People know how to manipulate each other. Your daughter included.

Being nice makes it harder to do something that was planned.

Don't feel guilty it is best for everyone involved. Hang in there....
Snowflakes gently floating from the sky just dusting the ground. Then it picks up bigger fatter flakes cascading from space at a faster rate. From a dusting to a trace. Then the deluge comes. Oh what joy. Watching everything slow to a crawl, then a stop. Step outside and even with things moving it is quiet. It is a giant muffler the earth is wearing. Causing everything to be muted.To be calm.
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by Mocha » Wed May 03, 2017 6:03 am

crazymama30 wrote:So ever since I told my daughter she has to be out June 1st, she has completely changed her tune. I figured she would get worse behavior wise, but really? She has gotten so much better. I think she is trying to manipulate me into letting her stay, so I just have to stay the course. But it really throws me off. She is still gone for days on end, and when she comes home she sleeps for almost a full day. Pretty sure she was partying it up those days she is gone and then comes home and crashes.

It would be easier to do this if she would just be awful like she always has been in the past. I just feel guilty now.

cm I want you to read what you just wrote.
You said you daughter has gotten so much better, changed her tune. But then you said she is still gone for days on end, doing god knows what, then comes home to crash. That's not doing better.

I'm sure she's playing you, figuring you won't kick her out....but seriously when her behaviour hasn't changed one bit?

She doesn't realize how much Mom has changed, has she? And you have changed......keep telling yourself that. Keep having the courage of your convictions. You have no reason at all to feel guilty. She's in the wrong here. You've given her chance after chance and she still thinks she can play you.

And you aren't doing her any favors by continuing to rescue her, to give her a free ride. She's holding you hostage with the way things are and believe me she knows it. She knows she's pulling the guilt trip on you.....don't let her.

Again, it's time for her to get that wake up call......It's the best thing you can do for her. Stay strong.
Not A Professional of Any Kind ~ Just Your Garden Variety Nutjob

The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.

~Martin Luther King~
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by crazymama30 » Wed May 03, 2017 7:51 am

I will stay strong Mocha, it is just hard when she is being nice. I know this is just meant to manipulate me. It just bothers me as she is just throwing her life away. She is so smart and could do so much, but chooses not to.

I know I will just make things worse by rescuing her, I think I made this harder on myself by giving her a month to leave, but I don't feel Ivan go back on that unless her behavior warrants it.
just keep swimming
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by Spm24 » Wed May 03, 2017 1:21 pm

crazymama30,

Many people choose to throw their lives away. Unfortunately until they want help their is nothing we can do.

Your right you should not go back on your unless she gives you just reason for doing so.
Snowflakes gently floating from the sky just dusting the ground. Then it picks up bigger fatter flakes cascading from space at a faster rate. From a dusting to a trace. Then the deluge comes. Oh what joy. Watching everything slow to a crawl, then a stop. Step outside and even with things moving it is quiet. It is a giant muffler the earth is wearing. Causing everything to be muted.To be calm.
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by Tigger » Thu May 04, 2017 5:35 pm

I would turn this around. If she's being "nice" think of it as her expressing her ability to adapt and be able to make it on her own. She's showing you her resources. Have confidence in her ability to use them for her own best interest away from you.

And big hugs. ((hugs))
_______

Mom to 12 year old boy with bipolar

Meds: 300mg Lamictal; 300mg Lithium; 10mg Abilify; .50mg Risperdal
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by crazymama30 » Thu May 11, 2017 11:28 am

This could be true Tigger. She had a place but it fell through, so I am giving her until July. It is super hard to find affordable housing in our area. She has a job now, so things are moving in the right direction. And she got it without me giving her rides or nagging her.

She admitted that she had been doing harder drugs, but says she is not now. Whether or not that is true who knows, but she has been more decent to be around.

She has to be out in July. Thatvis just the way it is.
just keep swimming
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