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Singing the blues

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by MoodyVic » Mon Sep 19, 2016 6:01 pm

I am going to miss the time I can
actually relate to my kids
soon I will be “better”
-- that is the way to live

my two boys don’t know why
I can sing songs instantly
they don't ask and I don't tell
they sing along you see

they just know that daddy
is singing the blues and jazz
on a level that my dad did
now HE has some pizazz

we had some laughs
and now I cry because soon this will be gone.
I must be responsible
I have to be strong

I have an appointment Thursday
at ten thirty with the doc
and then I will find out
that I am off my block

I know I am wrong
I should not be so selfish
to want to just be me
whenever I wish

I am God’s mistake
my illness has no cure
what EXACTLY is wrong with me
nobody's quite sure

but modern science will help me out
and I will soon be back
to a life void of emotions
creativity I will lack

in a week the songs I sang
will be only my children’s memories
in a month they will forget them
I will to in a year or maybe three

best that I just take my pill
that will put me to sleep
and worry about tomorrow
when tomorrow is mine to keep

leave the tears for a day
that I really need them
and be happy for the moment
with my two children


moodyVic
MoodyVic
 
Posts: 13
Joined: Sat Sep 17, 2016 6:35 pm

by MoodyVic » Tue Sep 20, 2016 1:31 pm

Thanks for listening
MoodyVic
 
Posts: 13
Joined: Sat Sep 17, 2016 6:35 pm

by Lovehope » Tue Sep 20, 2016 6:14 pm

i am currently on a medication that is just not doing it's job anymore. i struggle with the idea of changing meds mostly because it is a hassle but also because i think of how much i feel and wonder if that's just who i'm supposed to be. but then i ran into 6 days of stability after a long and, what i thought, wondrous, hypomania. the stability was pure peace. i mean peace. something i havent felt in so long. and now i get it. this illness is not who i am... it is not pleasent or enjoyable even in my up phases. stability is a scary concept especially if you havent experienced it in so long but it is better and it only increases the good parts of who you are
Lovehope
 
Posts: 421
Joined: Tue Jun 21, 2016 7:46 pm


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