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Single Parents

A place for Moms, Dads, and Parents-to-be.

by Blossom » Wed Jul 06, 2016 12:58 am

I'm raising two young girls with a sole custody. They are a large, beautiful part of my driving force to be as grounded as possible.

I don't have a solid support system. Relationships are the most unstable part of my life. The minute it is growing uphill, I get triggered and hurt them one way or the other. It's nothing but a bunch of broken records.

I'm almost content with being alone....until I become hypersexual. :twisted:

Alone, but not isolated. Can you relate?

Have you or do you suppress your symptoms around your child(ren)?

How do you instill your own core values and morals into your child(ren) while managing low's and high's without a partner around to reinforce them?
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by Mocha » Thu Jul 07, 2016 3:17 pm

Blossom, I'm probably the last person to give you advice on this topic but I wanted to bring your thread to the top. I'm sure some of our other parents have had to deal with some of the same issues.

Hopefully they'll be along to reply.... :)

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I look to a day when people will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.

~Martin Luther King, Jr.~

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by SlyPixie » Sat Aug 20, 2016 4:45 pm

I lean on my few friends and sister for support. I have only recently discovered this place, and I love it. I'm going back to therapy as soon as I can find a tdoc.

Most of the time I put my "mommy" mask on and just pretend that there's nothing wrong. I will isolate myself to cry if I need to, I don't want them to see it.
Not all who wander are lost.

Just because you can't see it, doesn't mean that it's not there.
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by GypsySoul » Thu Sep 15, 2016 3:09 pm

I generally lean on my friends and occasionally my family. I have told my daughter that I'm bipolar. When I'm unable to hide my symptoms (generally crying spells and/or agitation) I explain that I'm having an episode.
I'm lucky in the sense that my ex does take her some of the week so I try to hold on until those days.
It can be very tricky being a parent and bipolar.
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by Duckysmom » Thu Sep 15, 2016 3:31 pm

My daughter lived with an undiagnosed mother for the first 10 years of her life. So she had a crazy mother and a drunk father. We split when she was 8 and he became a when-I-feel-like-it father. I had sole custody. I married her step-father in what I now know was a year long manic episode. He was, in terms of my daughter, the best mistake I made when manic. I was diagnosed soon after the wedding.
I remember sitting her down and telling her about my illness. That I had been sick all those years and didn't know it. And her big hazel eyes got wide and she asked, "You mean it's not because of me?" I cried.
From then on, until I was stable, her Dad (stepfather) would take care of her, be there for her, when I was unable to. My mother and brother would step in. After getting stable, if I had the occasional bad day or a med adjustment, I was honest with her. "Mommy's not in a good way today," or "Mommy's really crabby today and it's not your fault so I'm sorry if I seem mad." She got it.
And somehow I raised a responsible, loving daughter. She was hell in her teen years, but got pregnant young. And she grew up quick and I am so proud of her. In school part time, working full time, going to her son's athletic events and parents nights at his preschool. She wants to be a policewoman. She's a boxer and training for a marathon. Eats healthy and lives a healthy, good life. And, ironically, with all the ways I feel I failed her, she credits me with her being the woman she is and is becoming. She said I'm the bravest woman she knows.
"Do not pray for an easy life, pray for the strength to endure a difficult one."
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by Duckysmom » Thu Sep 15, 2016 4:26 pm

I got interrupted to the dinner table. Sorry.

My point, I guess, is that, though I was only a single parent for about two years, it was soooo important to have a select few people who genuinely care about the children around as well as taking care of yourself. And honesty, at their age level of information, is appropriate. I didn't know that my daughter believed my moods and behaviors were somehow her fault. And, yes, I would try to keep the "mommy" face on most of the time.
I guess it would depend on the age of your children, but when I couldn't hold it together, I didn't just go hide. I would let her know I needed a bit of time to myself, but was close by if she needed me.
She's 20 now and we still live that way. Not together. She's in her own apartment. But I have a grandson now. He's almost 4. She had explained to him that Grandma has an illness and takes medicine, but sometimes Grandma still doesn't feel good. That way when he wants to come visit or come spend the night, he doesn't feel rejected when I'm just not up to it.
Hope something I said makes sense.
"Do not pray for an easy life, pray for the strength to endure a difficult one."
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by Adriana26 » Tue Nov 15, 2016 3:53 am

I can relate. I felt the same way. I wanted to sleep around at the time i felt good. I realized only after a month that I was in a manic episode. Am still learning how to cope with this disorder. It's tough. I have never been the one to do those things. But at the time was like this is the new Adriana but it clearly wasn't. My feelings for my then, 2 year boyfriend dropped overnight. It's scary. Bi polar disorder can ruin your life if not medicated.
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