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Anyone heard of brexpipirazole?

Talk about meds, side effects, and the 'med-go-round'.

by Jemane » Wed Dec 06, 2017 7:00 pm

Hi all,
Saw my pdoc today and he started brexpiprazole (rexulti) 1mg tablets. It’s similar to abilify (aripirazole) which I am also on but it’s meant to be good for mood and have less side effects.
Has anyone heard of it or tried it?
I was doing ok this morning when I saw my pdoc but seem to have crashed down badly this afternoon. I mean, I’m going to be ok but just having a lousy time and spending hours just lying in bed with no motivation to do anything.
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by Jemane » Wed Dec 06, 2017 7:47 pm

Ok, got to tell someone cause I feel so stupid I don’t feel like I can tell anyone else.
I’ve been feeling so crap this afternoon I’ve drunk half a bottle of wine at 2pm in the afternoon and had a small amount of oxazepam.
I’m my own worst enemy.
Never done anything like that before. I’m scaring myself now. Not feeling suicidal or anything, just impulsive. Like I don’t really care anymore.
Feeling like I just really hate myself. I suppose the new med isn’t really going to help with that is it?
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by AvantGarde » Wed Dec 06, 2017 8:44 pm

Regarding your first question.. I've read here that members were taking Rexulti, you can try the search option. It's a relatively similar med to Abilify in composition, so you should do fine on it. On the other board I modded a lot of folks took it, what usually happened is that after a while (years) it stopped working. Maybe something to discuss with pdoc at your next appointment?

Regarding your second post.. I really think you should use therapy for this. I know you think SI and suicidal behaviors are dealt with pdoc, but like I told you many times over these months, for me it's only handled in therapy, meds never touched it. You have a lot of issues with trauma and other things that I'm sure make living in your head a nightmare sometimes, plus BP. You could also benefit from AA.
It's really in your hands to stop this cycle, I wish you could see it and act on your own behalf.
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by Jemane » Wed Dec 06, 2017 9:08 pm

I’ve only just started therapy so I guess I’m yet to see the benefits but I know that it’s worth persisting. I’m seeing my tdoc 2 weekly at the moment but next year I hope to make it weekly. I guess most of the time I’ve been seeing her so far I’ve actually been feeling pretty good so I haven’t talked a lot about suicidal ideation or anything like that.
I need to do something about the alcohol as I know it’s problematic. I find the idea of AA very triggering due to the spirituality/religious aspect given my history with religious groups so I don’t think it’s for me.
My tdoc has a few good strategies so I think I’ll keep talking it through with her.
I want meds to be the answer. I’ve spent years trying to work through my trauma and past. Maybe I just haven’t found the right therapist yet.
It all feels a bit overwhelming at the moment.
I think I’m actually just sad at the moment. I’m not sure why.
I guess life hasn’t turned out the way I expected it would- but don’t we all think that?
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by AvantGarde » Wed Dec 06, 2017 9:17 pm

Gotcha on the AA. I had forgotten about the cult detail regarding that for a second, my bad.

On the tdoc, yours probably isn't a bad tdoc, it's natural to not be able to dwelve in trauma right from the beginning. But it's not even that, the SI we can deal with without dealing with the trauma, in fact dealing with trauma can worsen SI for a while there so it's really best if we deal with SI first. You should ask your tdoc, if you haven't already, what's her plan to deal with trauma considering you have such strong SI bouts.
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by Pancake » Wed Dec 06, 2017 9:17 pm

I’ve been feeling so crap this afternoon

You know there are times we all wish we could escape our own brains. It's fucking busy in here :evil:

Don't be afraid to tell your tdoc/pdoc too though. They're there to help you, not judge you.

I know it's easy to miss things when you feel ok during appointments, but they don't get to see the other times first hand. Maybe keep some notes?
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by AvantGarde » Wed Dec 06, 2017 9:22 pm

I'm not sure this is secular, but I found it while looking for secular AA alternatives. I have no idea, here we have no alternatives so I didn't even bother to look for myself.

https://smartrecoveryaustralia.com.au/
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by AvantGarde » Wed Dec 06, 2017 9:24 pm

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by Jemane » Wed Dec 06, 2017 9:26 pm

Great idea pan, I think I’ll take some notes. Keep a bit of a diary.

AG, I’ll definitely be talking about my impulsivity and SI with my tdoc. I mean, I’m not feeling suicidal right now but it’s been such an ongoing issue for me and now my mood is getting a bit worse.

We all have crap days I suppose, and today was one of them for me.

Tonight I’ve got to brave my work Christmas function...
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by Jemane » Wed Dec 06, 2017 9:27 pm

They sound good AG.
I wish I was brave enough to go to group meetings... worried about confidentiality and stuff.
I should really get over it though. Might talk to my Tdoc about it.
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by Pancake » Wed Dec 06, 2017 9:30 pm

Tonight I’ve got to brave my work Christmas function...

Oh. Aha. Well. Good luck. Glad it's not me :P

Don't go putting lsd in the punch bowl, ok?
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by AvantGarde » Wed Dec 06, 2017 9:36 pm

Look, it's worse living with it than the threat of someone knowing about it. Take it from me, everyone knows about it and the fact that I'm recovering is solid proof that I don't need their opinion and judgement, most days I couldn't care less. The hard part of people knowing is that it just makes us more accountable for, no room for slip ups.

Regarding drugs it's easier to be honest, but alcohol is everywhere. It takes a lot from us, it never gets better or easier only gets worse to ourselves and our family, we can die from mixing meds with alcohol. We live happier lives knowing we're doing the best we can for ourselves, and in your case your kids and hubby.

Plus, quitting addiction helps a lot with self esteem and hinders SI. Keeping stuck in a self destructive loop only fuels it.

Sorry for being so serious and insisting. It's heartbreaking to see you go through the same motions every few months.
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by Jemane » Wed Dec 06, 2017 9:43 pm

Look, I totally agree and I feel terrible that I’ve let myself get into this situation. I’ve really only got myself to blame.

I know I keep making excuses but the reality is that it’s my profression that holds me back and makes me crave confidentiality. In my profession you really can’t have mental illness or addiction.
I have to look totally perfect on the outside and man I’m good at pretending.

I’m only honest here, with my husband and my pdoc and tdoc. I don’t know if that helps to give context.

Sometimes I seriously wonder about leaving my profession as I think it is bad for my mental health. I’ve talked to my pdoc about it. Still not sure. It would probably be incredibly liberating.
Something needs to change and I know the change needs to start with me.
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by AvantGarde » Wed Dec 06, 2017 9:48 pm

I understand...

I had to leave all things that hindered my mental health behind me. It's hard as fuck. I miss a lot of people sometimes, and when I meet them on the street or something I always have to put up a brave face and pretend I'm not bothered by not keeping in touch and just disappearing from their lives.
When it comes to work, I see it as a tool now and not as a intrinsic part of my life. That also means the work I left behind as a director, or graphic designer. Nowadays I hardly think about it, I have new projects and interests and it really doesn't phase me anymore.

It is really a choice over being better and reclaiming your mental health or continuously going through the motions expecting things to change, doing the same thing over and over again :?
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by Jemane » Wed Dec 06, 2017 10:19 pm

My work is so much a part of my identity. It’s really hard to separate me from what I do. I think it’s also part of my identity in other people’s eyes as well which doesn’t help me much.

I need to do something. I need to work. I’d go crazy just being at home. I guess I need to just ponder what I could do that somehow relates to my current work that doesn’t have the stress factor and expectation of my current work.

I don’t think I’ll cone up with the answer anytime soon but I’ll be on the look out.
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by AvantGarde » Wed Dec 06, 2017 10:33 pm

My opinion is that, when we identify our identity with our accomplisments (or lack of them), our self esteem is dependable on more accomplishments or less accomplishments. And our worth, more like self-worth, isn't measured by our careers, it's measured by the sort of people we are. With most mental illnesses, it's almost like we thrive on being self destructive just to prove a point. It never abodes well for us. That's the whole basis of addiction, really. If we shift our perception to liking ourselves for other factors, such as being a good mother, a good friend, and like my tdoc pointed out, good to ourselves (not at the expense of others of course), things always seem so much better. We are more than enough most of the times, and when we're not we can always do better.

As for being dependable on other people's opinions, well, I get that. I don't do well when others like me for some reason, but I always try to make everyone like me regardless :lol: Dysfunctional mechanisms or something. :roll: So I'm really no help there at all, maybe someone else might help better with a fuck'em all or something :)

I used to be very well regarded, nowadays I hardly even remember those times, and it's still part of me, but my self esteem is not depending on that anymore. I prefer to have a solid mental health than to please a bunch of people who don't really care about me. Eventually it's a choice we have to make. And if my mother changed careers at 55, you can make a better choice for yourself for sure.

But I'm just talking now, not intending on lecturing anyone.. just talking out of my ass :lol: Sorry, I tend to do that.
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by Pancake » Wed Dec 06, 2017 11:27 pm

I'm going to have to jump in without reading everything. Sorry :lol: 8-)

Jemane my industry can be much the same with the whole be perfect-judgemental thing, but it's gotten much better over the past few years. Drugs and alcohol are still very zero tolerance (like, if you self-identify, we will support you, but also: you're fired :roll: ).

I'm a little bit smitten with the honorable member for Altona, btw (;

I know you have mentioned loving to study before. There's bound to be careers where your background will come in handy if you don't want a complete break?

Become a fireman! Youre fit, they were looking for more lady firemen, they get to sleep on night shifts (unless those pesky ambulance drivers drag them out of bed to help), and there's a branch just around the corner from everyone.
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by Jemane » Thu Dec 07, 2017 11:28 pm

Pancake wrote:Become a fireman! Youre fit, they were looking for more lady firemen, they get to sleep on night shifts (unless those pesky ambulance drivers drag them out of bed to help), and there's a branch just around the corner from everyone.


I don’t think I’d pass the fitness tests even though I can run fast and far! I’m not very strong!

Just trying to imagine myself in a firies uniform!

I’ve had a pretty lousy day again today but I’ve decidec to take the kids out for dinner and it’s lifting my spirits a bit.

No side effects from the new med which I’m relieved about. Feeling hopeful it might work but aware I’ve got a lot of work to do with my tdoc too.
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by Pancake » Fri Dec 08, 2017 12:38 am

Just trying to imagine myself in a firies uniform!

I'm imagining clown shoes...

Fingers crossed with the meds (:
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