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Most hypomanic yet

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by thymage » Thu May 18, 2017 5:25 pm

So I've been questioning my BPII diagnosis for a while. Not really sure if it's really 'true' or not.

I'd say my hypomanic phases have been becoming slightly more intense over the past few months. I can tell when I'm getting into one.. and boy it feels great! I can usually tell when I feel like I want to go to dance club.

This past week, I had two days of being hypomanic... Monday and Wednesday. Wednesday was definitely the most intense. I started e-mailing people at work when I got up at 4:30. I didn't think anything of it at the time... I didn't feel any different then. But then I started sending more e-mails, and planning meetings at work with people. I usually don't plan meetings.

On my drive in to work I started feeling excited. I had some great new ideas I wanted to implement at work... and it involved many people all working together. When I got to work, I was doing about 3-4 things at once. I had about 8 tabs open on my computer because I was reading a news articles articles but then got distracted with doing other work stuff all at the same time.

I would pop into peoples rooms to speak with them... loudly... about really fun stuff... and make lots of jokes. But, I normally don't like to speak with people. I'm actually quite reserved and spend most of my time in my office by myself hoping people go away.

I've been spending the past year telling everyone how much I hate my job and that I want out of it... yet that day... I felt like I LOVED my job. It was AMAZING! I got so much stuff done... and enjoyed everyone I worked with so much.

Just thought I'd share. Sadly, my mood ended that night. Today when I woke up... I was hoping I'd still feel the same way... but instead, I was back to hoping people would just leave me alone... not knowing how to talk to people... and not liking my job all that much.
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by hal » Thu May 18, 2017 7:53 pm

Sounds like BP to me, though not the classical type. More mixed.
. . . all times I have enjoyed
Greatly, have suffered greatly, both with those
That loved me, and alone.
-- Tennyson
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by Spm24 » Thu May 18, 2017 8:51 pm

I would agree with hal it sounds like mixed episodes..
Snowflakes gently floating from the sky just dusting the ground. Then it picks up bigger fatter flakes cascading from space at a faster rate. From a dusting to a trace. Then the deluge comes. Oh what joy. Watching everything slow to a crawl, then a stop. Step outside and even with things moving it is quiet. It is a giant muffler the earth is wearing. Causing everything to be muted.To be calm.
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by AvantGarde » Thu May 18, 2017 9:54 pm

I will have to disagree with both of them and say it sounds more like a rapid cycle - just a few days of hypomania. With a mixed episode you would get depression and hypomania at the same time, which did not happen.

Sorry guys, :lol:
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by Spm24 » Thu May 18, 2017 9:58 pm

Fine AG have it your way :roll: :lol:
But I think your right.. just blame mine on the time of day it is...
Snowflakes gently floating from the sky just dusting the ground. Then it picks up bigger fatter flakes cascading from space at a faster rate. From a dusting to a trace. Then the deluge comes. Oh what joy. Watching everything slow to a crawl, then a stop. Step outside and even with things moving it is quiet. It is a giant muffler the earth is wearing. Causing everything to be muted.To be calm.
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by AvantGarde » Thu May 18, 2017 10:05 pm

That's okay, you're forgiven :D
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by Spm24 » Thu May 18, 2017 10:19 pm

Yeah!!!!! I was sweating bullets...
Snowflakes gently floating from the sky just dusting the ground. Then it picks up bigger fatter flakes cascading from space at a faster rate. From a dusting to a trace. Then the deluge comes. Oh what joy. Watching everything slow to a crawl, then a stop. Step outside and even with things moving it is quiet. It is a giant muffler the earth is wearing. Causing everything to be muted.To be calm.
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by AvantGarde » Thu May 18, 2017 10:21 pm

:lol:
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by Pancake » Thu May 18, 2017 11:14 pm

What AG said.
With what you describe as hypomanic, where are the doubts coming from? What else do you think could be causing it?
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by Jemane » Thu May 18, 2017 11:30 pm

With hypomsnic episodes and depressive episodes sounds like the diagnosis is clear.
It's very natural to question. What does your pdoc think? Have they diagnosed you with bipolar?
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by Sovereign » Thu May 18, 2017 11:56 pm

I'm curious, how do you feel when you're 'hypomanic' but off from work? Ever been like that during the weekends? Sure you have, right?
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by thymage » Fri May 19, 2017 12:56 am

Sovereign wrote:I'm curious, how do you feel when you're 'hypomanic' but off from work? Ever been like that during the weekends? Sure you have, right?


I'm sure I have. My hypomanic times are just fairly rare... they seem to happen at work because that's where I am most of the time.

One time I had one when I was at the hospital with my wife. She had a reaction to something and had to go in. Well, after I got there... I just started feeling amazing... similar to how I described in the original post. Then we went to the store after she was released and I felt everything was very surreal... and I was almost floating through the store.
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by thymage » Fri May 19, 2017 12:57 am

Jemane wrote:With hypomsnic episodes and depressive episodes sounds like the diagnosis is clear.
It's very natural to question. What does your pdoc think? Have they diagnosed you with bipolar?


My psychiatrist said that if I am indeed bipolar... I would be a rapid cycler. AvanteGarde was right... sorry to everyone else. lol
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by thymage » Fri May 19, 2017 1:02 am

Pancake wrote:What AG said.
With what you describe as hypomanic, where are the doubts coming from? What else do you think could be causing it?


I think my doubts are coming from my OCD. I just keep questioning everything... and feel like I can't really be 'sure' I have it. I find myself continuing to research bipolar symptoms, even though I already know them... reading the same websites... over and over again... looking for more information that would tell me whether I definitively AM or AM NOT bipolar.

As a continuation of my symptoms from the OP... I told you I felt hypomanic Monday and Wednesday. Two days before that, on Saturday... I was SOOOOO spacey, slow, out of it, wanted to isolate myself, sad, despair, couldn't do anything. :(

"What else do you think could be causing it?" STRESS!!!??? May is a terrible time for me at work. Lots of extra events that cause me a lot of stress. So, am I having mood swings because of the stress of these extra events and pressure? ORRR are these events / stressors triggering harder mood swings because I am in fact bipolar?

I don't expect anyone can actually answer that.. but that's one thing I'm questioning.
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by AvantGarde » Fri May 19, 2017 1:06 am

It's natural to fluctuate in mood during seasonal changes, maybe that's what you are experiencing?

I'm a fellow rapid cycler as well, and I do get hypo when I'm working, doing everything extra fast and with a whoohooo lets go attitude. :roll:
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by thymage » Fri May 19, 2017 1:16 am

AvantGarde wrote:It's natural to fluctuate in mood during seasonal changes, maybe that's what you are experiencing?

I'm a fellow rapid cycler as well, and I do get hypo when I'm working, doing everything extra fast and with a whoohooo lets go attitude. :roll:


Yeah. When I saw my therapist on Monday she said "I've never seen you like this yet..." in the past 6 months I've been seeing her. She mentioned that I seemed much happier and was speaking much more quickly.

Season changes? I suppose. But it doesn't feel like when I'm just excited for it to be spring.

I've had slight bursts of what I thought was hypomania for the past 2 years. Very slight though. It'd come on for about a couple hours then go away. They've just been getting stronger and more intense progressively since then.

This past year was EXTREMELY stressful for me and my family. A LOT of life changes, work stress, etc etc. So, I know stress can trigger bipolar symptoms... perhaps that's why they're so much worse. The stress has retracted a lot since then, but the mood swings are still there. Perhaps it was just this really stressful year that kickstarted the symptoms into full swing.

I was also drinking much more heavily during that time. About 4 drinks / day. But that has also diminished, and I still am having progressively worse symptoms.
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by AvantGarde » Fri May 19, 2017 1:24 am

I think we can only offer you guidance through the confusion, you already know the answers. Only your pdoc can say for sure. One thing is good though, they don't diagnose you right away and wait to be sure. In my case I wanted a fast dx because I already had a manic episode with psychosis and was frightful it would lead me to another as my pdoc at the time didn't treat my moods.

My current pdoc keeps me on a low dose of a mood stabilizer and an ap for mania as well, since it's my biggest problem.

Stressors, seasonal changes and drinking can surely bring out symptoms.
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by hal » Fri May 19, 2017 6:28 am

AG, you're right. I haven't really understood the differences between mixed and rapid states.
. . . all times I have enjoyed
Greatly, have suffered greatly, both with those
That loved me, and alone.
-- Tennyson
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by AvantGarde » Fri May 19, 2017 6:45 am

Oh I see.. Mixed tend to be dysphoric, feeling completely trash while energized at the same time. Rapid is what we're describing here, it can last hours or days or even weeks in between changing moods.
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by Sovereign » Sat May 20, 2017 2:49 am

It's funny how we all differ even though we have the same disorder - when I'm hypo, I work my ass off, my boss actually tells me to take it easy sometimes because I'm liable to exhaust myself (loading and unloading trucks), but most of the time, I'm actually not that talkative, I just work like crazy and focus on work, 100%. But come break time, or before or after work, I won't shut up. :lol:
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