Bipolar Support Forums To Share and Support One Another

Financial stress and weather changes

What are your triggers? People, places, smells, or sounds? Have you learned how to set your boundaries? Or do you know what your boundaries are?

by Lulu25 » Thu Dec 07, 2017 4:37 pm

I've been doing very well the past few months. I've had ups and downs but nothing unmanageable. Pdoc and tdoc agree I'm pretty stable but still cautious because a big trigger has the potential to cause a relapse. I've been handling things very well and some issues were quite difficult to stay in control of. I haven't been overspending, but I'm struggling financially. I don't have credit cards because I don't allow myself to at this time. I am trying to fix my credit from my days of instability and I haven't had a credit card in a few years. With Xmas coming, financial issues are much more stressful. I don't have very much money as it is but I get by and I'm grateful for that. It feels like things are just piling up on me and I can tell things in my head are beginning to mess with me. The weather/season change is not helping. I've got a lot going on in my head right now and I kinda feel like the seams are beginning to come apart little by little. I've been going days without eating and I know that's not good. I've actually been dealing with that for the past couple of months. Idk I just feel lost and overwhelmed, am I strong enough for this? I don't want to hurt myself but I sure do feel exhausted from constantly battling the irrational....
She is a soldier in the war against herself...
Lulu25
 
Posts: 341
Joined: Tue Dec 06, 2016 9:01 pm

by Spm24 » Thu Dec 07, 2017 5:04 pm

It is never easy to deal with financial issues. It is good that your handlings things the way you are. So easy to just slide back into old habits.

Weather and season change can affect us all in such adverse ways. The not eating as you said is not good. Being overwhelmed is not easy to deal with. You have handled situations like this before. You know when it starts to get to be too much you need to contact your pdoc and get meds adjusted and your tdoc to help you deal with the issues..

Of course we are always here for you.
Snowflakes gently floating from the sky just dusting the ground. Then it picks up bigger fatter flakes cascading from space at a faster rate. From a dusting to a trace. Then the deluge comes. Oh what joy. Watching everything slow to a crawl, then a stop. Step outside and even with things moving it is quiet. It is a giant muffler the earth is wearing. Causing everything to be muted.To be calm.
User avatar
Spm24
Moderator
 
Posts: 3452
Joined: Wed Aug 17, 2016 10:18 am
Location: Ohio

by Jemane » Thu Dec 07, 2017 7:59 pm

Financial stress is so difficult. Sounds like things are pretty tough for you at the moment.
I don’t have any moments of wisdom to share but like Shawn said, we are all here for you.
All the best.
You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.
User avatar
Jemane
 
Posts: 1241
Joined: Sun Jun 05, 2016 2:25 am

by AvantGarde » Thu Dec 07, 2017 11:09 pm

Hi Lu, are you not eating because you're not hungry, to save food or as an escape?

Check out intermittent fasting. I wrote an enourmos post, but it's not necessary.
IF its a healthy way of eating organized and skipping meals if you must do it. I do IF some days of the week but I don't skip meals. It helps me a lot with anorexia triggers too. Gained control over them. I'm on a diet to lose med weight and if I don't see the scale moving I go obsessive, so I needed something to control my eating other than counting calories which I think it's counter productive and not really necessary.
Genetically evolved chicken at your service

My therapist says I don't have crazy eyes

Never surrender your freedom of being to the veridict of those who are strangers to your inner workings
User avatar
AvantGarde
Moderator
 
Posts: 6572
Joined: Mon Jun 20, 2016 7:01 am

by Lulu25 » Thu Dec 07, 2017 11:43 pm

I'm not sure what my eating issue is. I don't purge. I will go 3-4 days easy without eating. I actually get where I have no appetite. At one point I would be hungry but when I started to eat I would get super nauseous and stop bc I felt sick. But there are times where I eat normal. Well.....my normal I guess. Now that I think about it I don't eat normal. I randomly will eat. like today, I had a yogurt and I had some soup a bit ago.

I've never considered anorexia bc I'm not thin but not fat. just in the middle lol and I'm tall and more athletic so when I gain weight I get thicker built instead of frumpy. So I never thought I was anorexic. or bulimic, bc I don't purge. Binge eating don't fit. Idk but I do know I have some type of eating disorder bc I do not have a healthy relationship with food. If I really had to self analyze(which I did bc you asked AG) I would say it's about control and of course body issues. I just get a sense of relief to know I can beat the temptation of food. it's a mess. I've talked to pdoc/tdoc about it. not very much though.
She is a soldier in the war against herself...
Lulu25
 
Posts: 341
Joined: Tue Dec 06, 2016 9:01 pm

by AvantGarde » Thu Dec 07, 2017 11:51 pm

Anorexia is just a name for disordered eating, it can mean a lot of things, including binging. Bulimia is eating and purging.

I do think if you have issues with control over food, or feel you have too much control, the best thing to do is turn it to a healthy mechanism of action.. right? At least it's my reasoning.. I always had too much control over food, still do. I've learned to live with it, dealing with it in therapy, but turned it to a healthy coping skill instead of destroying my metabolism.. more than it is, that is.
I went from 80lbs to 150lbs from binging, and to get to the 80lbs I basically didn't eat. What happned is that I was an otherwise healthy person and nowadays I'm not that healthy.
There was a time when I used to spend days without eating, then have like a banana or somehting :?

It can spiral out of control if you're not careful. If you keep it up you will lose weight for sure, and ruin your metabolism. It's not good for med action as well.
Genetically evolved chicken at your service

My therapist says I don't have crazy eyes

Never surrender your freedom of being to the veridict of those who are strangers to your inner workings
User avatar
AvantGarde
Moderator
 
Posts: 6572
Joined: Mon Jun 20, 2016 7:01 am

by AvantGarde » Fri Dec 08, 2017 12:15 am

I'm a bit scatter brain lately, forgot to mention... If you do research it and decide to do it, don't go for those lunatics days without eating kind of IF. I do 12hour windows, sometimes 15 in days when I have too much to do or I'm simply not hungry.
More than that and you'll lose a bunch of weight, there's no need.

The important part I would like for you to see about IF, is that in order to do it healthy, you'll need to eat nutricious and filling meals. Plenty of protein, about 1g per kg, a bit more a bit less it's okay.

Eat some healthy fats for saciety like avocados, olive oil, coconut to boost your metabolism.

I also found that smoothies help me a lot when I'm not hungry but have to eat. They can be high in calories, but are liquid calories so they're not that filling, but are nutricious if done right.
Genetically evolved chicken at your service

My therapist says I don't have crazy eyes

Never surrender your freedom of being to the veridict of those who are strangers to your inner workings
User avatar
AvantGarde
Moderator
 
Posts: 6572
Joined: Mon Jun 20, 2016 7:01 am

by Lulu25 » Fri Dec 08, 2017 12:31 am

I will definitely look into it. I need something to change, I know this isn't healthy. it has been hard to lose weight since I've been taking meds and I want to get on a diet as well.
She is a soldier in the war against herself...
Lulu25
 
Posts: 341
Joined: Tue Dec 06, 2016 9:01 pm

by AvantGarde » Fri Dec 08, 2017 12:34 am

Let me know if you need some help.

Another thing, this is supposed to be temporary, just like a bridge to get to the other side of the river (that is, eating without it being disordered).
Genetically evolved chicken at your service

My therapist says I don't have crazy eyes

Never surrender your freedom of being to the veridict of those who are strangers to your inner workings
User avatar
AvantGarde
Moderator
 
Posts: 6572
Joined: Mon Jun 20, 2016 7:01 am

by Lulu25 » Fri Dec 08, 2017 12:45 pm

I had an apt with tdoc this morning. It went really well until the end; I brought up the eating issues. I've mentioned it in conversation before but not in any detail. Today I told her about all of it. She asked when it started and I told her the truth which was that it's always been there since I can remember. My mom was anorexic and my dad is bulimic which she didn't know either. I did not want to talk about it but I know I need to or it won't get better. We both agreed that I've been avoiding that conversation with her but now that I'm doing well with the BP the issues I've been avoiding will be addressed now. I haven't let pdoc in on this yet but I will at my next appt. As of now, I haven't eaten today since the soup last evening. I've noticed when I'm hypo I crave sugary foods, is that odd?
She is a soldier in the war against herself...
Lulu25
 
Posts: 341
Joined: Tue Dec 06, 2016 9:01 pm

by hal » Fri Dec 08, 2017 1:43 pm

Lulu, I salute your courage in facing this issue!
. . . all times I have enjoyed
Greatly, have suffered greatly, both with those
That loved me, and alone.
-- Tennyson
User avatar
hal
Moderator
 
Posts: 2009
Joined: Wed Aug 13, 2014 1:54 pm
Location: Iowa

by Lulu25 » Fri Dec 08, 2017 4:22 pm

Thanks hal, it's gonna be a difficult thing to battle but I think I'm ready for it.

oh AG! I brought up Anorexia and how I have always identified Anorexia with being thin, so I never considered Anorexia for myself. Her response was that it's a common misconception, but that the "skinny" is very extreme, dangerous, and out of control Anorexia. She is concerned bc I've been not eating more than I have eaten in the past couple of months. I've read a little on IF last night and it seems doable. I do agree that when I DO eat I should eat healthy nutritional foods. Tdoc was worried about me getting proper nutrition as well. Any links to good literature on IF AG?
She is a soldier in the war against herself...
Lulu25
 
Posts: 341
Joined: Tue Dec 06, 2016 9:01 pm

by AvantGarde » Fri Dec 08, 2017 9:26 pm

I'm glad you discussed this with tdoc! Congrats on that step, it's sooooo important :D

I don't know if it's natural to crave sugar while hypo, but I assume since our bodies use more energy when in a high mood, it's fairly natural that it's going to crave carbs.

You'll need to research some nutrition and figure out what's best for you, there's a lot of ways of eating... The standard diets in western countries, yours and mine included, are usually not very nutritious or healthy, not even in the Mediterrenean nowadays :lol:

There's very little information on IF and actually eating, most IFs are thought to lose weight or for bodybuilders, but a google search will give you some articles that you can read.

My tips from what I've learned doing research on this:

To start the eating window, eat a high protein nutritious meal full of veggies and make it your biggest meal of the day.

If you can, don't do it every day, it can mess with your hormones since you're a lady. But if you're not eating at all, it's best to do IF and actually eat, than to spend all that time with no eating window. That will surely mess with your hormones.

In order to keep glucose flowing, if you're prone to feeling dizzy and faint, eat smaller meals every 3 hours. Our meds tend to mess with triglycerids too, so it's important we give them sustenance to act too.

Like I said yesterday, healthy fats are good, give saciety and help a bunch of body functions, such as liver function. So, olive oil, coconut oil, nuts, avocados, salmon,...

Drink plenty of water, but not too much. I drink about 1,5L now, was drinking 3L and it was too much I started having weird effects such as low mood, besides peeing a loooot.

Pro-tip: omega 3 and omega 6 are very important for brain performance, I started eating a lot of stuff with flaxseed that has high levels of both. Flaxseed pancakes, smoothies with a tbsp of flaxseed, flaxseed pie crust, you name it. Golden flaxseed tastes better than just grounded flaxseed. Even a glass of milk with some flaxseed on it helps a lot. Some people sprinkle a tbsp on cereal. It helps with bowel movements and digestive system in general as well.

One thing that does help a lot, and it helped both me and my cousin with anorexia, is to enjoy cooking. It really starts by wanting to cook for others most of all, but it transforms into self appreciation. And we need to love ourselves to overcome this.
10 years ago I could only fry an egg and hardly :lol: Now, I cook every day (and well :D).
The thing is to change your relationship with food. Food is not the enemy, quite the contrary, it's a friend and can be a trusted friend. I've seen a lot of folks online that say food is just to give energy, fuck them, food is to be enjoyed and appreciated, especially if it's a tool for the best performance of our bodily functions.

Also... If you start losing a bunch of weight, try to eat regularly for a week see if your body handles it.

There is more stuff, but I'm having a brain fart... if I remember I'll post :)
Hope this helps.

Edit: Ah yes. You don't need to lose weight probably, so try to not go over the 12h window, and try to eat well on the eating window.

I mentioned that our body needs glucose, and the production of glucose is higher in the morning. So I read it's best to eat carbs after breakfast. I don't remember why. So, try to incorporate some fruit... berries are antioxidant and have a low glycemic index, but other fruits like mangoes have a high glycemic index.

If you're going to eat bread, ditch the white stuff and go for whole or lots of grains.
Same with rice and pastas.
Have I said 1gof protein per kg of bodyweight? And the healthy fats for saciety? Vewy impowtant.

If you read forums, take everything with a grain of salt (even what I tell you), seriously... most people don't know jack shit. I've read a bunch of studies and books and I'm not sure it's right.. nutrition is really difficult because often studies are not done right, nutricionists are biased, or the big associations are paid by companies :?
Genetically evolved chicken at your service

My therapist says I don't have crazy eyes

Never surrender your freedom of being to the veridict of those who are strangers to your inner workings
User avatar
AvantGarde
Moderator
 
Posts: 6572
Joined: Mon Jun 20, 2016 7:01 am

by AvantGarde » Fri Dec 08, 2017 10:36 pm

Alsoo.... Folks say eating healthy is more expensive. It's actually not if you know how to do it. Junk food or take-out every day is expensive as hell.
Obviously, it's healthier to eat grass fed butter and grass fed meat, but if you don't have the money don't even sweat it. Organic vegetables are a bit more expensive, but worth it, since veggies have lots of water that absorb the insecticides and the crap they put on crops... But if you don't care about that, don't mind me. (I hate Monsanto with passion, so I try to live up to it. :lol:)

The thing is, unhealthy stuff at the supermarket are usually pretty cheap. So, it's not that eating healthy is expensive, it's eating shit that's stupidly cheap. If you learn how to balance it, and make food a priority instead of a nuisance, it will pay for sure.

Like.. If you spend more on veggies, but less on meat, it will actually be cheaper. If instead of carbing up every day with bread, you eat an egg muffin, oatmeal, or a smoothie for breakfast, it's just about the same in price or even cheaper. If instead of snacking on junk you eat a tiny amount of nuts, you'll feel fuller longer and it's basically the same thing in price.

A good tip I read online was to shop on the outter circle of supermarkets! It's funny, and I had never noticed it, but actually, all the shit is jacked up on the ailes. Veggies, meat and fish, eggs and yogurts are usually on the outter circle :)

This is probably too much information... lol Sorry, I got excited to help you out with this :)

I actually incorporate all these advices into my eating habits, and more even. See how much control I have over my eating? And I'm finally in a healthy weight now, don't binge or starve ever. And it's all pretty recent for me, most of these things I do since last summer.
Genetically evolved chicken at your service

My therapist says I don't have crazy eyes

Never surrender your freedom of being to the veridict of those who are strangers to your inner workings
User avatar
AvantGarde
Moderator
 
Posts: 6572
Joined: Mon Jun 20, 2016 7:01 am

by Lulu25 » Sat Dec 09, 2017 8:30 am

I believe that one can never abosorb too much information. I have like a slight photographic memory so my head is full of random information bc I read ALOT!

I came across a nutritionists YouTube channel recently. She was explaining the 3 body types: Endomorph, Endomorph, and Ectomorphs. Endomorph have hips wider than shoulders. They gain weight in the midsection and thighs. Mesomorphs (me) are more athletic and have wider shoulders than hips and they distribute weight gain pretty proportioned. So right now I kinda look more Endomorph bc I'm overweight right now. I'm about 25-30 lbs overweight. Sounds like alot but being a Endomorph my weight is distributed pretty evenly so I don't look as big as I weight. I've always weighed more bc I have more muscle mass. Ectomorphs are very thin naturally and have a hard time gaining weight. She also goes through how to have successful weight loss based on your body type. Bc Endomorphs need more cardio bc they gain weight easily. There is much more to it if you're interested I can send a link.

I love all the Info you shared with me! It's very educational. I will start incorporating it into my diet. I'm gonna try really hard.

Excuse any typos, I'm on my cell. lol
She is a soldier in the war against herself...
Lulu25
 
Posts: 341
Joined: Tue Dec 06, 2016 9:01 pm

by AvantGarde » Sat Dec 09, 2017 8:59 am

Ah, yeah, I know about the body types. Mesomorph myself. :lol:

Be careful with youtube videos, lots of quacks out there.

Glad I could give you info. :)
Genetically evolved chicken at your service

My therapist says I don't have crazy eyes

Never surrender your freedom of being to the veridict of those who are strangers to your inner workings
User avatar
AvantGarde
Moderator
 
Posts: 6572
Joined: Mon Jun 20, 2016 7:01 am

by Lulu25 » Sun Dec 10, 2017 10:59 am

lol yeah there are some quacks out there for sure! :lol:

ok so first day of IF. I didn't eat the past 2 days. I'm really struggling with having to eat :( but I'm gonna really really try to do this.

I've been feeling a bit down the past couple days too. sleeping much more than usual. I love to run! I used to run 5ks and 10ks and was even training for a half marathon. but I started focusing all my energy on my mental health and neglected my physical health. I didn't like the down that I began to feel so before it got outta hand I did what pdoc and I discussed. I got my endorphins going! So i went for a long walk and jogged back this morning. about 3 miles. I'm now here where I used to be in pace and mileage but muscle memory is amazing and in no time I'll be back to about 15-20 miles a week. which isn't much actually.

Ok AG! I made a 540 cal meal. that was non gmo organic everything whole grain bagel, spinach sauteed in a little olive oil. 2 slices of turkey bacon. and one cage free organic egg. lots of flax on the bagel. which had 22g of protein. pretty good ratio of carbs and fat to protein. I'll get better at it once I get the hang of it. I'm learning how to calculate my macros.

I am very hungry after that run though so I'm happy to eat something healthy and I don't feel that guilty. :?
She is a soldier in the war against herself...
Lulu25
 
Posts: 341
Joined: Tue Dec 06, 2016 9:01 pm

by AvantGarde » Sun Dec 10, 2017 9:58 pm

That's great Lu!! :) I'm so glad you ate!!!! That's such a relief, seriously.

500kcal is great, seems like good macro ratios too. :) You're doing it right!
Can you try and eat normally, breakfast, lunch and dinner, every other day? Or just do IF one or two days a week, or is it too soon for that?

All I see are macros now... I spend a good portion of my week just researching recipes and bookmarking them. I had 400 recipe bookmarks last week. Lol But I'm crazy, I don't hide it anymore. :lol: And I will make them all!

Well, while looking at a dish all I see are macros now. "30% protein, 20% fat, 1% carbs" lol

Since due to the eating disorder I fucked up my metabolism, my body started to crave food a lot, so going over my kcals of the day actually makes me lose weight and going under I get bloated, believe it or not :? Weird as shit, isn't it?
Genetically evolved chicken at your service

My therapist says I don't have crazy eyes

Never surrender your freedom of being to the veridict of those who are strangers to your inner workings
User avatar
AvantGarde
Moderator
 
Posts: 6572
Joined: Mon Jun 20, 2016 7:01 am

by Lulu25 » Mon Dec 11, 2017 7:01 am

I did eat dinner last night. I had a small.portion of salmon seasoned with rosemary and lemon, with a little bit of a dry spice mix. Some red potatoes and asparagus. It was a pretty small portion but I ate right? I'm eating breakfast this morning. I woke up hungry! I'm a little u easy about eating again. thats 3 meals so far and that's more than I ate in the whole week last week. :shock:

I do want to understand macros. I actually calculated BMR using the Mifflin st jeor equation and than broke down how many grams of Protien, Fat, and carbs. and converted that into how many calories in each category I can eat a day. I did put a lower daily calorie intake. But it's a start.

I am looking for recipes. I atleast don't feel so much anxiety and guilt eating very healthy foods.
She is a soldier in the war against herself...
Lulu25
 
Posts: 341
Joined: Tue Dec 06, 2016 9:01 pm

by AvantGarde » Mon Dec 11, 2017 7:05 am

Try to find a way to calcultate your TDEE and starting eating up to that number if you can. That's the approximate number of calories your body expends each day. It's really important that you meet an approximate number. BMR is good too, though.

I'm glad you ate, even happier that you woke up hungry :) That's a very good sign.
Genetically evolved chicken at your service

My therapist says I don't have crazy eyes

Never surrender your freedom of being to the veridict of those who are strangers to your inner workings
User avatar
AvantGarde
Moderator
 
Posts: 6572
Joined: Mon Jun 20, 2016 7:01 am


Return to Triggers and Boundaries