Bipolar Support Forums To Share and Support One Another

A letter to Lupus

What are your triggers? People, places, smells, or sounds? Have you learned how to set your boundaries? Or do you know what your boundaries are?

by Moodylessa » Mon Aug 21, 2017 4:42 pm

Dear Lupus,

Two years ago you decided we need to be bff's. I'm sorry, not sorry, but no. You see you are bad for me, like really, really bad. First of all since I've met you, I can't walk without a lot of pain. Not cool bro. Secondly, you have taken up residence in my legs, and now the rest of me. My body was never for rent, and I did not agree to the terms and conditions, but apparently I can't evict you. This is not what friends do, crash on the couch for a few days sure, but this? This is complete and utter bull shit.

You have made it almost impossible to go outside during the day. So not only are you squatting in my body, but you're a jealous fun wrecker.

Now..now I am going bald in places! You are officially on my hate list. It's a small list but you have raced to the fucking top in a short two years. How fucking DARE you take away my physical capabilities? How DARE you attack my skin with rashes from the sun and how FUCKING COULD YOU make my hair fall out?! The fuck is wrong with you dude?!

A humans immune system is supposed to protect from FORIEGN Invaders MY SKIN, NERVES, MUSCLES, LEGS, BRAIN AND WHATEVER ELSE IS NOT FUCKING FORIEGN YOU NINCOMNOODLE!

I'm sick and fucking tired of you. Maybe I'm just cranky since you make me exhausted but FUCK OFF AND DIE get out of my body leave my immune system alone and go die in a fire!

Lupus we are not bff's we aren't even f's get the fuck out of my fucking life and now!
Ballad of Serenity
"Take my love, take my land
Take me where I cannot stand
I don't care, I'm still free
You can't take the sky from me
Take me out to the black
Tell them I ain't coming back
Burn the land and boil the sea
You can't take the sky from me

There's no place I can be
Since I've found Serenity
But you can't take the sky from me
"
-Joss Whedon
Moodylessa
 
Posts: 120
Joined: Mon Aug 14, 2017 3:49 pm
Location: Ontario, Canada

by hal » Mon Aug 21, 2017 6:21 pm

That's right, Lessa, telling 'im off, great job! :twisted:
. . . all times I have enjoyed
Greatly, have suffered greatly, both with those
That loved me, and alone.
-- Tennyson
User avatar
hal
Moderator
 
Posts: 2009
Joined: Wed Aug 13, 2014 1:54 pm
Location: Iowa

by Moodylessa » Mon Aug 21, 2017 6:31 pm

Thank you, a particularly painful day today has me exhasperated. Lol, had a hot bath and now liberally using a tension machine for all the tight muscles from pain
Ballad of Serenity
"Take my love, take my land
Take me where I cannot stand
I don't care, I'm still free
You can't take the sky from me
Take me out to the black
Tell them I ain't coming back
Burn the land and boil the sea
You can't take the sky from me

There's no place I can be
Since I've found Serenity
But you can't take the sky from me
"
-Joss Whedon
Moodylessa
 
Posts: 120
Joined: Mon Aug 14, 2017 3:49 pm
Location: Ontario, Canada

by Jemane » Mon Aug 21, 2017 8:36 pm

Great rant.
Sorry you are suffering like this.
Lupus sure sounds awful.
Combined with a mood disorder - what a terrible combination.
You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.
User avatar
Jemane
 
Posts: 1241
Joined: Sun Jun 05, 2016 2:25 am

by Moodylessa » Mon Aug 21, 2017 8:39 pm

Yeah it's not fun, but thank you. I have ADHD too, which means I'm squirrelly. But like a squirrel that will bite your head off...if it didn't hurt so much to do it. Lol.
Ballad of Serenity
"Take my love, take my land
Take me where I cannot stand
I don't care, I'm still free
You can't take the sky from me
Take me out to the black
Tell them I ain't coming back
Burn the land and boil the sea
You can't take the sky from me

There's no place I can be
Since I've found Serenity
But you can't take the sky from me
"
-Joss Whedon
Moodylessa
 
Posts: 120
Joined: Mon Aug 14, 2017 3:49 pm
Location: Ontario, Canada

by AvantGarde » Mon Aug 21, 2017 10:18 pm

Top notch rant. Take that, Lupus!
Genetically evolved chicken at your service

My therapist says I don't have crazy eyes

Never surrender your freedom of being to the veridict of those who are strangers to your inner workings
User avatar
AvantGarde
Moderator
 
Posts: 6572
Joined: Mon Jun 20, 2016 7:01 am

by Moodylessa » Mon Aug 21, 2017 10:21 pm

Thanks AG I think it heard me this time, lol. For now ;)
Ballad of Serenity
"Take my love, take my land
Take me where I cannot stand
I don't care, I'm still free
You can't take the sky from me
Take me out to the black
Tell them I ain't coming back
Burn the land and boil the sea
You can't take the sky from me

There's no place I can be
Since I've found Serenity
But you can't take the sky from me
"
-Joss Whedon
Moodylessa
 
Posts: 120
Joined: Mon Aug 14, 2017 3:49 pm
Location: Ontario, Canada

by Moodylessa » Wed Aug 23, 2017 10:14 am

My grandmother in law just said that pain is from lack of nourishment and that I eat too much junk and my pain is all my fault. FML
Ballad of Serenity
"Take my love, take my land
Take me where I cannot stand
I don't care, I'm still free
You can't take the sky from me
Take me out to the black
Tell them I ain't coming back
Burn the land and boil the sea
You can't take the sky from me

There's no place I can be
Since I've found Serenity
But you can't take the sky from me
"
-Joss Whedon
Moodylessa
 
Posts: 120
Joined: Mon Aug 14, 2017 3:49 pm
Location: Ontario, Canada

by Stuckles » Wed Aug 23, 2017 11:46 am

I'm all too familiar with the blame game, you have my sympathy :( Even when your diagnosed with a condition that literally explains 80% of your "lazyness"/"naughtiness" as a kid they still hammer on you as being responsible for things you have no control over.
User avatar
Stuckles
 
Posts: 171
Joined: Tue Aug 22, 2017 8:58 am

by Moodylessa » Wed Aug 23, 2017 1:06 pm

Thanks, yeah the out law's don't believe in mental illness and believe big pharma is evil. And other crap. It just hurts when they all believe I caused this. I can't help that my immune system when on the fritz
Ballad of Serenity
"Take my love, take my land
Take me where I cannot stand
I don't care, I'm still free
You can't take the sky from me
Take me out to the black
Tell them I ain't coming back
Burn the land and boil the sea
You can't take the sky from me

There's no place I can be
Since I've found Serenity
But you can't take the sky from me
"
-Joss Whedon
Moodylessa
 
Posts: 120
Joined: Mon Aug 14, 2017 3:49 pm
Location: Ontario, Canada

by AvantGarde » Wed Aug 23, 2017 10:30 pm

Hey Lessa, don't let them make you feel guilty, ever. They suck, you'll be out of there eventually. Fuck them.
Genetically evolved chicken at your service

My therapist says I don't have crazy eyes

Never surrender your freedom of being to the veridict of those who are strangers to your inner workings
User avatar
AvantGarde
Moderator
 
Posts: 6572
Joined: Mon Jun 20, 2016 7:01 am

by Moodylessa » Thu Aug 24, 2017 1:59 am

Thanks AG, we go see the perfect home soon (his schedule and ours seems to not always align grr). A nice bungalow style house with a big yard for the puppers!
Ballad of Serenity
"Take my love, take my land
Take me where I cannot stand
I don't care, I'm still free
You can't take the sky from me
Take me out to the black
Tell them I ain't coming back
Burn the land and boil the sea
You can't take the sky from me

There's no place I can be
Since I've found Serenity
But you can't take the sky from me
"
-Joss Whedon
Moodylessa
 
Posts: 120
Joined: Mon Aug 14, 2017 3:49 pm
Location: Ontario, Canada

by AvantGarde » Thu Aug 24, 2017 2:25 am

Good luck :)
Genetically evolved chicken at your service

My therapist says I don't have crazy eyes

Never surrender your freedom of being to the veridict of those who are strangers to your inner workings
User avatar
AvantGarde
Moderator
 
Posts: 6572
Joined: Mon Jun 20, 2016 7:01 am

by Moodylessa » Thu Aug 24, 2017 9:39 am

Thank you! We will keep you guys informed. There will be a party. Bring hats and munchies. XD
Ballad of Serenity
"Take my love, take my land
Take me where I cannot stand
I don't care, I'm still free
You can't take the sky from me
Take me out to the black
Tell them I ain't coming back
Burn the land and boil the sea
You can't take the sky from me

There's no place I can be
Since I've found Serenity
But you can't take the sky from me
"
-Joss Whedon
Moodylessa
 
Posts: 120
Joined: Mon Aug 14, 2017 3:49 pm
Location: Ontario, Canada


Return to Triggers and Boundaries