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by Babaramram » Tue Feb 23, 2016 8:13 am

If you have not heard, a fat middle aged white guy murdered six people in Kalamazoo Michigan for no apparent reason a couple days ago.

The AP story had this...

Questions about motive and Dalton's frame of mind are "going to be the hardest to answer for anybody," Fuller said. He expects some answers to emerge in court, but he doubts they will be satisfying.

"In the end, I ask people, because I keep hearing this question of why, 'What would be the answer that would be an acceptable answer for you?' They have to think about it for a moment, and they say, 'Probably nothing.'


The story also said he is now cooperating with police and confessing to everything he did.

I am no expert and certainly have no firsthand knowledge of this terrible event but I can write with a fair amount of certainty that the shooter could very well have BP.

Just a few days ago I was in a mood that I had not felt for a number of years, I guess it was brought on by the stress of my new lifestyle changes, where I could very easily see how and why these guys do these crazy killings.

Normally I am a very compassionate guy, I don't like to kill anything larger than a big ant. I cry easily at sappy TV shows. I actually do pray for people to get better.
I practice what I preach most of the time.

But something gets triggered inside my brain that turns off that compassion, it becomes all about me (my ego) and my needs seemingly not being met. I forget that I am the observer and get totally caught up in my drama. I lose my sense of conscience and it becomes all about my ego mind not being supported. Everything then becomes about taking energy away from other people to build my ego back up.

In this state of mind I write things I regret and say things I wouldn't otherwise say. And I think things that I would never think if I was in my right mind. I know why these crazy guys kill.

There is a state of mind with this disease that causes normal behavior to go haywire. Stealing energy from anyone to assuage a wounded ego is the overpowering emotion. For men with bi polar I can say it is often brought on by some refusal by a woman. Natural sexual desire gets mixed into the demon's brew of emotions. The first Kalamazoo killing was of a woman the killer called by another woman's name.

The fact the killer shortly after confessed and is cooperating is just more evidence of his BP. The mood for him passed with his actions and now, of course, they probably have him on suicide watch.

The only thing that keeps me from acting on these impulses is the spiritual awareness I have come to practice the last 15 or so years. A belief in God, that has evolved through the years, has kept me from doing anything sinister.

This disease allows us to feel a huge range of emotions from a high where I believe I have special powers to a low where any consequences for my actions are not even considered since I am already so far down.

My lifelong belief in something greater than me (God, Source, Nature, etc.)
and my learning to be the witness of my drama even while trudging along in the mud of my ego mind, has allowed this fat middle aged crazy white guy to say with sincerity, "there but for the Grace of God, goes me."
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by SteveW » Tue Feb 23, 2016 1:21 pm

Wow that is really sad, I feel for the victims and the guy that did it.

I can relate to everything you wrote. You really have a way with words. I too fall into the me me me stage often without realizing it until its too late. My wife will point it out to me and then I realize it and feel the guilt and shame. How can I be so self centered?

My rage can consume me so quickly that I react without a thought, once the damage is done and I realize what I done I then think how/why did I do that over something so trivial, something so simple. It happens in the blink of an eye but the damage can last forever. I've burnt a lot of bridges that way. Luckily I have never hurt anyone physically but emotional scars can be just as bad.
Thanks for the eye opener..
When I go fishing, it is not really fish that I am after. It is a philosophic meditation.

Don't give up, don't EVER give up
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by BillyGoat » Wed Feb 24, 2016 8:06 am

Yep, yep, yep, yep and yep.

I look forward to both of you posting on the Rant forum.

I've been there too, and it's been a great release for me.

When / if you ever need to, get amongst it.
---------
Bleat

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